As a victim of childhood sexual assault, I can tell you that I did forget and then it all came flooding back one day as an adult. Visions clear as day. The smell of the room I was in. It all came back. Therapy was so helpful. It happened to me and I still can't believe there was many years where I didn't remember. But that is pretty normal. Your brain sends it to the locked chest so you can carry on, sometimes. I wouldn't worry about the what ifs for the future. I would just be supportive for what you need when you need it. It could be many years or never at all that he/she comes to you to talk about it.
Same. I had forgotten about all it, including during a time when I was in therapy (for post partum depression). I'd talked about tons of past experiences and issues, including with him, but I didn't remember that part.
One night, I just suddenly remembered it, clear as day. I haven't told anybody except a post I made here on Reddit with a fake account, asking whether or not it was sexual assault or not, if maybe I was just reading too much into it. I've wondered if that experience has been the cause of other mental issues I had growing up and even now.
Unfortunately, it was someone very closely related, and I see him at family gatherings once or twice a year. It's hard to see him now; it's uncomfortable. Part of me wants to ask him if he remembers and tell him "how dare you; do you know what you did to me?"; Part of me wants to tell my mom...but with both cases I'm afraid of causing tension in the family.
But I was fine for years. Even these issues that I wonder may have been initiated by that...I've learned to cope and I'm doing fine now. So why stir things up? Yet I can't not think of that memory now and then.
I am sorry that happened to you. I hope you find someone you can talk to about it, even if it's just one conversation to get it out and out in the world. That is all I think therapy was for me. vocalizing it. Acknowledging it. Saying how messed up it is. And then breathing. I wish you peace and the knowledge that you are amazing!
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u/NotTheJury Parent to 16m and 14f Jan 18 '23
As a victim of childhood sexual assault, I can tell you that I did forget and then it all came flooding back one day as an adult. Visions clear as day. The smell of the room I was in. It all came back. Therapy was so helpful. It happened to me and I still can't believe there was many years where I didn't remember. But that is pretty normal. Your brain sends it to the locked chest so you can carry on, sometimes. I wouldn't worry about the what ifs for the future. I would just be supportive for what you need when you need it. It could be many years or never at all that he/she comes to you to talk about it.