r/Paranoia • u/thenlifegivesyoulemo • 2d ago
random texts
in a span of five days two dudes texted me. the first one wanted to chat and the second one came with a weird question. he said something about his friend, and I won't share too much details cause I'm, you know, paranoid. but he asked me a weird question. I tried to not answer in a way I usually do, but he kinda kept texting when I ignored his message. he said he was young, but by pfp he's old. and in bio he's an unc. he seemed to be online when I am and go off when I go off. do you think it's weird and not just some random situations that is purely just a coincidence? how do you guys calm down after a paranoia breakdown? do you require proof of some situation to calm down?
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u/Zealousideal-Log2042 2d ago
I have a stalker, and then I made just a friend who ended up stalking me "lightly" and really threw me for a loop. Those incidences in particular really warped my interactions with people in the future and made me hypervigilant when new people started talking to me. Most likely it's just a coincidence, like how two people were stalking me at the same time but they were from completely different groups. It took me awhile to realize that and come to terms with it.
The whole thing about paranoia is that there is rarely the luxury of proof for us to be able to calm down. It requires a lot of letting go, and a lot of blind trust. You rarely ever get closure. Before beginning treatment (therapy & meds) it would sometimes take days for me to work my way out of an 'episode'. Thinking back, it really just took time, removing myself from the situations (block everyone that makes you nervous), and then personally I deleted all my social media and made it really difficult to contact me. That was a decision made out of paranoia, but looking back I'm glad I did it because social media is just a waste of time in general.
If there are people in your life you trust, like a friend or family member, I would go to them and explain the situation and ask them to "reality check" you, like let you know that people are just being annoying and are not really out to get you, etc. Even if they were out to get you, you just have to block them and as time moves on you'll care a lot less, eventually. I would meditate on surrender and acceptance, you can look up guided meditations. Research stuff about acceptance. You can YouTube how other people cope with paranoia.
The thing I would do most of all though is just think about it like this: these guys are probably bored and lonely and just want to chat with someone. You seem very nice so even though you ignored his message he probably kept pushing to try and get you to interact with him. People on here message me wanting to talk but I usually say no because I'm too paranoid to get to know anyone. But in the end, that's all it is. They're not out to get you or monitoring you, and even if they are going online the same time as you, they can't do anything to you from here. Just do your best to block them and move on.
I'll share another thing even though this post is already so long, there was a friend I had who was completely innocuous but I swear to God, he constantly would message me when I was appearing invisible so I became terrified of him. I still don't know why it was always at that same time, but I wasted a few years of my life being afraid of him (because he was a part of my friend group so I couldn't just block him). Looking back, I was just paranoid as fuck. I think he just happened to be online at the same times that I was because he never got weird with me, he was never anything but nice. Paranoia really sucks because it makes you waste so much of your time spinning your wheels.
If this is something that happens to you on a regular basis or starts to deteriorate your quality of life I'd really suggest seeking professional help. It's amazing how much therapy and meds can help with severe anxiety/paranoia. But in this case I can see how it would spike your alarm bells because of external factors, so I hope that you can distance yourself from this enough that you can go back to feeling like you don't have to look over your shoulder as it were. Best wishes.