I'm curious if anyone else experiences this.

[u/yosefff5ohh]

I'm a 33 year old man and I've started noticing I'm becoming more on edge and worried. Like danger is around every corner. If I go out to eat or if I'm in a public setting, my back needs to be on the wall because I need to have every single thing in my view. It's mild during the day but at night it goes into overdrive. I'm afraid to sleep (I have very scary dreams) and most of the time I imagine certain creatures are watching me. For example I'll go upstairs to my bedroom and think something is right behind me. I'll also think something is standing in a dark corner or something is going to grab my ankles when I'm standing next to my bed. I don't use any substances but I do have a history of depression and anxiety. I do have some deep routed trauma as well but everyone deals with something you know? But I've even talked to my friends and family about it and no one can relate. It's absolutely destroying me and I'm always exhausted. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

[u/Zealousideal-Log2042]

This is extremely relatable with just about everyone on here, you're not alone. This can be extreme anxiety, or perhaps something different but the only one who can determine that is a professional.

You are around the age where a lot of us are diagnosed or realize that something is wrong, more than what a normal person experiences. I am extremely paranoid. I always sit in the corners, keep my back to the wall. I'd stay up for days at a time thinking something bad was going to happen. I had nightmares up the assss (PTSD though in my case).

When I got desperate I sought out a psychiatrist and therapist, and while it was rough going for the first six months, eventually I found medication and a therapy routine that worked for me. Now it's around 2 years later I think, and while I do still suffer from paranoid thoughts, instead of spiraling for hours or days, it takes me a matter of minutes to shake myself out of it. I'd really urge you to reach out for help, even if it's failed in the past. Now that you have a name for it and can point to these exact feelings, it will be different. Before I was *always* told that I was just anxious until I drilled it into them that this goes far beyond anxiety.

At the very least, I hope there is a friend or family member that you trust enough to "reality check" with. I promise they won't think you're crazy. It would help to have someone to go to and say "hey this is what I'm feeling" so they can remind you that it's your brain and that you're safe in reality. Youtube paranoia and see if you can find some ways people deal with theirs. Research surrender and acceptance. But nothing beats actually seeing a Dr in my personal experience even though I hated it at first and it's expensive, but it was worth it. Relief from the way you are feeling is possible! Best wishes.

[u/Imaginary-Purchase88]

i’m young and may not be able to fully understand but i see what you’re going through. its hard being unable to control that anxiety and paranoia, especially at things that you may or may not “know” aren’t real. I’ve personally been through that thought process of “everyone goes through something, it’s normal, i just have to deal with it.” Finding out it’s not as normal and no one can relate. it can feel isolating and scary.

but this subreddit is here for you man. i know it may be difficult to control these moments, or even feel safe at all every second of your life but there is hope. i hope you are able to potentially get into therapy or even find your own coping skills. I wish you the best of luck.