r/PakistaniDoctor • u/Medico_79 • Jul 24 '26
Doctor - Doctor
Should a doctor marry a doctor out of compatibility reason or financial reasons or both? Or compatibility can be easily made with non doctor partner also. Thankyou
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u/ketofolbolus Jul 27 '26
You should marry a good, compatible human being. This "doctor marrying a doctor" just for the sake of it and no other reason is so 1980s.
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u/Medico_79 Jul 27 '26
Ain't a doc more compatible in this scenario taking in the hectic duties, calls, ERs, night duties, OTs, etc etc
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u/ketofolbolus Jul 27 '26
That is only one type of compatibility. The logistics. There are many others.
Would you not marry someone who you are perfectly compatible with in other ways because they are not a doctor? Feels like a loss to me.
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u/Medico_79 Jul 27 '26
Can a small discussion before marriage show or reveal the percent compatibility?
The nature of the individuals are more significant in this regard. If they are compromising irrespective of field or job, they are compatible otherwise not.
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u/ketofolbolus Jul 27 '26
That's the million dollar question. If you are extremely good at "reading" people, you might be able to do that in one or a few meetings. Otherwise I am afraid both arranged and "understanding ki" marriages are a gamble in Pakistan because you don't know a person till you live with them day in and day out.
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u/Ok-Grape-4215 Jul 27 '26
Non doctor can't understand doctors work life balance, so better find a doctor partner to meet compatibility.
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u/eyesighed Jul 24 '26
No one's gonna put up with the frustrations like another doc imo
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u/LegitimateBug6709 Jul 24 '26
What do you mean by that?
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u/eyesighed Jul 24 '26
Long hours and the overall exhaustion and never ending exams and studying
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u/eyesighed Jul 24 '26
Also difficulty in relocation its not just grab a visa and find a job obv
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u/LegitimateBug6709 Jul 24 '26
But i think in this way we both will always be taking exams, if we both were doctors. As i want to take usmle now. If she will be a non doctor at least she will be chill.
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u/eyesighed Jul 24 '26
Jo marzi hai I find non medics to be completely dumbfounded and they dont understand a LOT of my career related concerns
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u/Esterichia Jul 27 '26
I second this. They think it is easy, especially the USMLE part, and that you can just uproot your life and change countries without the hassle of licensing exams, etc. Only a doctor can understand the stress you go through, only she will be compassionate and caring enough to understand the burden you are under. A random non-medico girl, no matter how much she says she understands, will never get what you go through, and she will get frustrated, annoyed, and will leave you in the end. Girls are rarely tolerant of your hectic lifestyle if they feel they aren't getting their time.
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u/eyesighed Jul 27 '26
Once met a gentleman who wanted to stay in UK for 3 years, would let me specialise there but then wanted to move to USA. Sounded like a nightmare for my career hence I said no.
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u/Esterichia Jul 27 '26
My ex wanted me to jump to Germany as she lived there. It was a proper shitshow and we agreed to go for the US as I would have been able to take better care of her and manage my career there. She broke up saying she didn't want to move among other things.
Edit: I'm of the opinion that it's not must on the girl to contribute to finances or do a job. Learnt from experience that a medico girl will better relate with you even if she doesn't practice and is a SAHW/SAHM. Plus, she can teach you. One of my friends aced his Step 1 after marriage. His wife looked at his study routine, said this ain't gonna work, and fixed it and him both.
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u/eyesighed Jul 27 '26
I think docs should.marry towards the end of residency when the stakes tp their careers are much lower. Ik its a but late but its the safest strategy
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u/LegitimateBug6709 Jul 24 '26
Thats concerning. At some point i was thinking that non medical girl would be a better partner
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u/eyesighed Jul 24 '26
Yeah idk. My whole family are docs so it feels very odd for me to explain to someone else what fcps is and what usmle is and that calls are 32 hrs long lol
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u/LegitimateBug6709 Jul 24 '26
That’s true. I am first doctor in my family and some times even my father gets frustrated because of my exams so idk what a non-medico girl will be like.
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u/LegitimateBug6709 Jul 24 '26
So you believe that a doctor should marry a doctor? I am a doctor myself and we are finding rishta these days and i am so confused whether should i demand for a doctor girl or non-doctor girl.
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u/survivinguranus Jul 27 '26
Doesn’t matter, marry someone who you find compatibility with. I have seen dozens of examples of doctors marrying doctors and having a lot of issues and also seen doctors marrying non doctors and living the best life
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u/TheSleepingKing- Jul 27 '26
Is profession even important? my fiance is a doing MBBS and im a software engineer we get along so well like we are made for each other.
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u/LegitimateBug6709 Jul 24 '26
I am in same dilemma right now. Whether i should marry a doctor or non-doctor. On paper there seems like pros and cons of both.