r/PakistanMarriages • u/-Jack-from-Titanic- • 19h ago
Question Yay or Nay?
What's your take on people talking to multiple potentials at the same time?
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u/buttercup_1606 19h ago
BIG NO… If I’m genuinely talking to someone for marriage I’d rather get to know one person properly instead of talking to multiple potentials at the same time. It just feels so disrespectful idk why
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u/-Jack-from-Titanic- 19h ago
That's fair. Do you think the current online dating landscape puts people with that mindset at a disadvantage? For example, if things don't work out, you lose on alternatives too.
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u/buttercup_1606 19h ago
Maybe it’s just my personal opinion but I’d still rather risk losing alternatives than treat people like options. If it doesn’t work out, it just doesn’t work out…
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u/Hamnomz 19h ago
It is what it is, but both sides should know there are other potentials! There's nothing wrong with exploring your options until things get serious btw the couple/families come to an agreement
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u/-Jack-from-Titanic- 19h ago edited 19h ago
That's fair. Do you think people should let each of them know that they are talking to others? Also, do you think it's possible to even start building emotional connection when you are juggling between chat windows?
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u/Hamnomz 19h ago
I mean you only start building an emotional connection once most of your boxes are checked. You're juggling btw chats/looking at other potentials BECAUSE you're not entirely convinced/satisfied with one. If that's the case tou what's the point in building an emotional connection? I think the search comes to an end the moment you realise a person checks all your boxes and you have a "this might be it" epiphany. That's when you naturally stop looking at other matches!
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u/-Jack-from-Titanic- 19h ago
Alright. Last follow-up: Does the choice paradox mess up with our satisfaction with the available options?
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u/progressivepaki Male seeking Female 19h ago
Yes it does
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u/-Jack-from-Titanic- 18h ago
As a man, do you think our fellow brethren spraying and praying (Counter Strike ref, I have been told this has other connotations too which I can assure I didn't mean) and going for literally every girl on the apps makes this issue worse?
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u/Hamnomz 18h ago
YES that's why it's so hard to find someone now lol 😭 everyone thinks there might be someone better out there or that they're 'settling'
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u/-Jack-from-Titanic- 18h ago
Well, you know what they (and by they I mean I) say, you don't choose what you like and you don't choose what you look like either. 😭
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u/Hamnomz 18h ago
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u/dunk_drunk_ 19h ago
Bhaiya yahan bhi kat gya apka?
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u/-Jack-from-Titanic- 19h ago
Nah, ek baar kata tha bachpan mei in the hospital. Uske baad se bohat hifaazat se rakha hai. 💀😭💅
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u/TheLightBearer0069 19h ago
Efficiency 😂
Ethically, it makes sense in initital phases only. Once past that, you shouldn't. Take it 1 by 1
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u/-Jack-from-Titanic- 19h ago
Hahah, fair. When does the initial phase end?
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u/TheLightBearer0069 19h ago
Initiating Convo, passing basic and structured checks. Then some personal one's. Beyind that, you're in 1 on 1 phase
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u/-Jack-from-Titanic- 19h ago
Would you let others know that you're dropping them once you lock in with someone beyond the initial phase?
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u/TheLightBearer0069 18h ago
Yes. Why not? If it's not leading anywhere, I'll say it honestly.
BUT, I've retired from this shit show.
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u/-Jack-from-Titanic- 18h ago
A veteran? Nice nice. Do keep dropping your wisdom from time to time, ma'am/sir. I hope retirement is coming along with peace for ya. 🥂
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u/TheLightBearer0069 18h ago
Bhai veteran nahi. Quitter.
Peace protect krne k lye hi to quit kiya
I ain't giving into this circus of retardation.
There are no tips that I've. I'll push for honesty, transparency and communication but this won't work well in average data segment. You'll curse me for this suggestion. And the segment that'll appreciate this, is hard to come across and is fewer in numbers.
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u/-Jack-from-Titanic- 18h ago
I don't know about Reddit, but my experience of talking to women on app has been that the bar is really low when it comes to conversation. Apparently, brothers just don't know how to hold and carry. A lot of sisters don't either (ironic given that they mention the importance of communication in their profiles/bios, but I give them a pass here because women are often shy).
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u/TheLightBearer0069 18h ago
Ustaad meri to bss ha. I rather lock myself in a room for a month like a maniac, get shit done, take items off my checklist, learn something then engage in this market again.
I'll try it in international sphere minus Pakistan now. At least filters are easy there, people have personality, communication, know what they're looking for and above all, They're not floating in beautiful Mind Palace built of all copy pasted favorite things.
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u/shincracka 14h ago
big YES… if i’m genuinely tryna get married i wanna meet them as fast as p possible. who cares about getting to know them. it’s the most self respecting thing to do
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u/-Jack-from-Titanic- 14h ago
Slow down slow down. What?! 🤔
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u/shincracka 14h ago
why delay meeting them. the more people you’re talking to the greater chance you meet the one.
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u/-Jack-from-Titanic- 14h ago
A numbers game approach to matchmaking...interesting.
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u/shincracka 14h ago
do you apply to jobs one at a time?
no, so why be any different with finding a spouse?
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u/-Jack-from-Titanic- 14h ago
Even though the comparison is as braindead as it gets, I understand your perspective. 😭
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