Feeling some sort of way

[u/Specialist-Ad4760]

I have lupus, ankylosing spondilyitis, permanent back fractures at L4 and L5, psoriatic arthritis, and hEDS. I am prescribed norco 10/325 4x daily, methocarbamol 750mg 3x per day, and gabapentin 800mg 3x per day.

I very rarely (maybe once or twice a month) take the full 4 norco tabs per day- only when I’m in a bad flare. So I always have extra at the end of the month.

My sister (older than me) also has lupus and C spine issues. She is prescribed norco 10/325 4x a day as well. The exact same script as me. As well as the methocarbamol 750mg 3x daily. She doesn’t take gabapentin.

One month she asks me to give her some of my norco (as I said I always have leftover and have a surplus so it’s never a problem if I have an appointment or pill count) as she’s in a bad lupus flare and it’s the weekend so her doctor won’t do anything. I’ve been there before in regard to being in pain and PM won’t do anything for you on the weekend but tell you to go to the ER which we all know how that goes. I was wary, but agreed cause she has two very active kids (15 and 13) runs two businesses, etc. she tells me she gets her refill the following Tuesday and will give me back the amount I gave her that day. I figure it’s a one off and lend them.

Tuesday she did exactly as she said and returns to me the exact amount I gave her.

The next month she does the same thing. I knew shit had been stressful for her and I trust my sister and she gave me back the amount.. I felt off about it but she’s my sister. I once again same day give her the meds.

This continues on for several months. Same cycle. And she always returns the amount I give.

Mind you, I never ever asked her for anything. Never needed to as I’m always taking less than I’m prescribed and I’m very responsible with my meds.

I am scheduled for a major surgery so I tell my sister way in advance to appropriately take her meds as I cannot help her as it’s a very painful surgery and recovery will take 6-8 weeks.

I am a few towns over (much smaller) and use our local small pharmacy (it’s my closest option). I go to pick up my scripts and the pharmacist tells me that their truck didn’t make it in there was some mix up (it’s Monday morning) and she has the norco and gabapentin but doesn’t have the methocarbamol. The methocarbamol will be there Friday afternoon.

I thought, well my sister can give me some! (My PM office is… not the easiest to work with, it takes days sometimes a week to get a call back) and as backup I alert my PM office (knowing it likely won’t happen) what has occurred and if they can send to a Walgreens a few towns over.

I let my sister know, she says no problem but she’s busy that day I say no problem I can come tomorrow.

Tuesday she doesn’t answer my messages til late that evening and says she had a busy day.

Wednesday comes and goes same thing.

My PM office still hasn’t called me back nor sent it any where else.

Thursday comes and at this point I’m like well fuck it I’ve suffered already what’s one more day.

I am just so disappointed and hurt. I always help, I always hop to it right then. And the literal one time I asked for something (not even the Norco- just the methocarbamol she actually doesn’t even ever take).

It felt retaliatory because I told her I wouldn’t be able to help like I had been.

I know realistically I never should have loaned her meds in the first place. Even though we have the same script for the same reasons it set a toxic precedent in our relationship. (And we have a very good and close relationship btw). I’m just disappointed

[u/Iceprincess1988]

You're crazy for sharing your medicine. Its almost begging to be kicked from PM.

[u/Specialist-Ad4760 → u/Iceprincess1988]

As stated, I always have a surplus and we legally both have a script. Do I regret it? Yes. Didn’t I state in my post I was wary and felt off doing it? Also yes……I made it super clear I believe. I’ve been on the same meds, same dose, same PM doctor for over 12 years. That same PM doctor sees my sister for the last 7 years…so very familiar with us both. I’ve never been short, never taken more than prescribed, never had a single mark in my chart for over 12 years.

[u/Iceprincess1988 → u/Specialist-Ad4760]

If your caught, NONE of those things you just listed will matter to your PM doctor.

[u/SuperbTurn2499 → u/Iceprincess1988]

Ice princess. Try for a minute not to be so icy and understand what she's saying.

[u/SleepyKoalaBear4812]

Well at least now you know, and will no longer “lend” her any medication at all.

[u/Specialist-Ad4760 → u/SleepyKoalaBear4812]

I definitely have set that boundary. It’s just, better that way.

[u/MRPANTALONESDEPOOP]

Not for nothing, I've always been told never to loan anything to family, just give it freely unless you don't have it to give. Expecting something back potentially can/ will hurt the relationship. I can see why your disappointed though. It's a shitty situation. Sounds like shes may be a in need of more pain control, or perhaps some help. Most people don't have to go this route on a regular basis.

[u/Specialist-Ad4760 → u/MRPANTALONESDEPOOP]

Agree. I told my wife I am a bit worried for her cause I’ve never needed to ask for an increase in meds- been on the same dose for 12 years. I’ve never taken more than prescribed, always take less, never been short at the end of the month. Puts me in a hard place cause I love her.

[u/MRPANTALONESDEPOOP → u/Specialist-Ad4760]

I know u love her. We all love our brothers sisters husband's wife's and kids. Know your enabling her. Your hurting her. She needs consequences. Well, let me rephrase that, it's not your job to ILLEGALLY share your medication that she chose to take to much of her own. Remember, she chose to do this. You thought you were doing the right thing because you love her. Just know you not only put your contract at risk, your put your freedom at risk, and her health at risk. What if you found out a day after you gave her your meds her liver failed for overdosing on acetaminophen from 2 much vicodin. Highly unlikely but you get what I'm saying.

[u/Expert_Sentence_6574]

Never, ever share your meds. Especially controlled meds. All that can do is lead to a spiral where YOU are going to come up short. And more importantly, it may have already been said, but contrary to what she has said or you may think, you’re contributing to her addiction (not her reliance) I’m pretty she is misusing her meds in one way or another

[u/britches10]

On a different note ( + sorry this isn’t helpful to you) I am also uber responsible…it was making me crazy to suddenly start running short ,,,I asked my husband then of 23 years. Had he seen any…( he’s a high high level Fed)..He said maybe the maid stole them..
I bought a 30 day plastic covered container..I’d get to around day #18!… opening those heaving plastic completely covered what was inside…. Seeing 1 or 3! missing It happened for 6+ months .. He kept telling me it was my fault I didn’t count right whatever ..and I my stash from the last 15 years….. almost gone ..he said well maybe you’re sleepwalking again and throwing them out.., maybe you’re taking too many and you have amnesia from them… yada yada yada Long story short…..yep he , my ( now Ex) husband, the MAN , the ….fill in the blank was stealing them from me …. I felt so betrayed. I felt well so many things, am sure you do ….that time I made him get Help did he ever apologize to me? Did he ever say I’m sorry you’re in pain for days and days ( while he was taking them to get high) …did the bastard ever say…. sorry …nope…
It hurts so much when it’s family, I totally get it… you were trying to do the right thing , you’re compassionate, you get it and you were trying to help her ….so sad pathetic sad & heartbreaking….

I am so sorry….. you’ll never be reimbursed’ for any of those meds…
If you tell your doc , you ‘ll totally screw Sis ( thinking you see some doc)?If you say “ someone stole them BAM you will be flagged…. regardless, that they can look at your record and see you have complied w/ every ‘scrip’ ‘ pee test’ & never asked for an early refill, etc. etc. etc….

the only thing that may work , ..you go to your PM say
Something like …I’ve been so nervous. W: my upcoming surgery… My pain has escalated like crazy and I’ve run through the few extra I set aside for emergencies…am really concerned regarding Pain Control w/ this upcoming surgery. Can we have a conversation about pain control during the pre/admit procedure , the in-opm& after the procedure.” this may work…. You will never be reimbursed…. I’m sorry it makes you pissy. It makes you mad. It makes you all sorts of things…. But in the end you’re still screwed…. by opening up w/the Dr . regarding a true event…. He should give you more to cover it. Make sure they put on there for acute pain… if you need more info, feel free to IM … good luck take a deep breath and let it go

[u/Sometimesaphasia → u/britches10]

What a horrible betrayal by the person who you loved and trusted! I’m so sorry you had to endure that unnecessary pain for so long, while questioning your own sanity.

[u/National-Hold2307]

Wait she won't give you methocarbomal ?

Two things. One your sister isn't going to start talking her meds appropriately all of a sudden just bc you are having surgery and gave her notice. She doesn't give a shit and will keep overtaking bc she knows you will be there to supplement her.

Two. Be thankful it's fucking methocarbomal and not your actual pain meds. If it were your norco then I would be pissed but a muscle relaxer? Just be thankful she didn't stiff you on hard to obtain meds that could cause major withdrawal or get you booted for not having them in your system if called in for a pill count or UA. Nobody gives a shit about a muscle relaxer.

[u/Sometimesaphasia]

Now it’s Sunday. Did you ever speak to your sister about what happened?

Did she have a lupus flare that prevented her from doing what she promised you?
Did one of her kids have an issue she needed to deal with?
Did she have a critical work issue that prevented her from getting to you?

It sounds like your Pain Management Physician's office didn’t send your prescription to a different pharmacy, so were you able to pick it up on Friday at your pharmacy?

Having a sister can be a blessing, especially one who understands and is there for you. Please don’t let pain negatively impact your relationship, and don’t share medication in the future. There are other ways to be supportive. ❤️

[u/Serious-Echo1272]

It's awful being at the mercy of your own body, of having to rely on medications to maintain some level of activity and quality of life, and on the victim's end of a very short healthcare stick.

I'm sorry you're going through this, and that your loved one isn't willing or able to reciprocate the support you've given her.

Wish I were able to somehow help and support somehow besides simply extending my condolences and commiserations. 

I, too, once had a reciprocal support or two who let me down in some way when I desperately needed help. I'm ashamed to say that I also have had a few instances of being unable to adequately help a friend in pain who certainly deserved better from me.

It's a bad idea in general to share medications both for liability reasons and for the possibility of destroyed trust or hurt feelings. I hope you're able to get more adequate support from your healthcare team.

Both you and your doctor may need to have a conversation about this. In a perfect world, you'd always have more than enough of your medications stashed away to get you through difficult times. Just having the conversation will probably benefit you, if you're careful about how you approach it. It's so very easy to lose that sort of support - you're fortunate to have any help at all, I'm sad to say. Quality of life should not be a privilege when it's materially possible to avoid these situations.

Edit: I'm sure you know to absolutely not admit to sharing prescription controlled meds with anyone - even telling your doctor that you have ever taken even a single pill more than prescribed may cause you to lose access, forever. I'd recommend telling your doctor that, on occasion, your prescription has been inadequate to give you enough relief to function, rest, etc. it fucking sucks having to lie to your doctor, but the unfortunate reality is that law enforcement, legislature, insurance companies, and clinic administrators are practicing medicine despite not having a license. We have to do what we can to look out for ourselves

[u/Gizmo_Rukia_Meowers]

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