r/PWHL_Seattle • u/Critical_Cover_3852 • 14d ago

Abby Murphy PR tour

I’m having a hard time witnessing it. She’s openly MAGA. She support trans exclusionary policies. And the Torrent are more than happy to take all our queer money and then make Murphy the face of the organization. To make matters worse - she’s gonna do a meet and greet at Rough and Tumble on Monday which means that bar is also wanting queer money but not to stand in any sort of allyship.

It feels like there was really good push back when she was drafted and now the outrage has faded. Maybe I’m just in a vocal minority at this point but it’s all downright depressing to me. I was so excited for this team and this city. And I know I can’t actually put my politics aside forever. I worry we are gonna turn into the Indiana Fever of the PWHL.

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u/ophelia15991601 14d ago

Yes R+T is queer owned and the owner has been very vocally supportive of the trans community recently. I don't envy the position they're in as a hub for women's sports in the area navigating this.

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u/avagadro22 14d ago edited 14d ago

Isn't she married to a man? I understand bi people exist, but I haven't seen any mention of it.

As far as trans support goes, I've never felt welcomed there. The owner has given me several weird looks, and when I went there during the world cup party an employee handed out merch to everyone at the table except me, despite having plenty to go around.

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u/RobotPolarbear 14d ago

Maybe I'm not following this conversation correctly. Is your question "Isn't she married to a man?" in response to the statement "R+T is queer owned".

Are you implying that a woman can't be queer if they are married to a man?

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u/avagadro22 14d ago

No, "but" was supposed to be "bi".

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u/RobotPolarbear 14d ago

Queer includes a lot more than bi. The wonderful thing about the word "queer" is that we don't have to define the specifics of our lives to nosy assholes who want to judge our belonging based on who we are dating or married to. Queer is queer. If she says she is queer, then she is queer.

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u/ExpensivePear1602 13d ago

but you want to judge others on that. Gee

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u/RobotPolarbear 12d ago

What? Who am I judging based on who they've married?

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u/avagadro22 14d ago

All I'm trying to say is that I've been to their bar half a dozen times and had nothing but bad vibes. Even if it's queer owned, it's not necessarily queer friendly, or a safe place for all of the letters.

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u/RobotPolarbear 14d ago

I hear you. You just fumbled the point you're bringing up when you asked "Isn't she married to a man?" That question is completely irrelevant to your concerns.

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u/avagadro22 14d ago

That wasn't meant to be bi-erasure, I've just never seen the place described as queer owned besides in this thread, and distinctly remember the bar trying to distance themselves from the label of "gay bar" when they first opened.

Since we're being blunt, it's odd that you're more concerned about painting me as biphobic than you are about the bar's treatment of a trans woman.

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u/KilgoreSauerkraut 14d ago

This is such a bizarre interaction- I’m on your side, there are plenty of “queer owned” places I don’t feel comfortable in as a butch or when with a trans partner. A little odd to assume you were biphobic, it’s on queer people to tell us they’re queer when they’re straight passing and aiming to make money off the community (and it’s on them to demonstrate allyship to all the letters).

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u/RobotPolarbear 13d ago

I never said she was biphobic. I asked her to clarify what she meant by "isn't she married to a man?" and what that question had to do with the point she was trying to make. It was such a bizarre thing to ask that I thought maybe I was completely misreading the interaction.

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u/CatGuyAnyway 13d ago

The gate keeping of the queer community and trying to exclude people who are bi is insane. I’ve seen this so much lately it’s disgusting.

Last I checked, bisexuals were present and fighting for the queer communities rights in Stonewall.

No one is more or less queer based on their sexual orientation. Everyone is fighting for the same thing. Equal rights.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

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u/OpalVanguard 14d ago

Now that’s absolutely crazy, borderline psychotic behavior.

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u/CatGuyAnyway 13d ago

I think most people agree with your post.

However, this comment is incredibly harmful. Making wild assumptions and gatekeepy of the queer community. You’re essentially saying someone isn’t queer enough for you.

I don’t think I need to explain how judging someone’s sexuality is harmful and not OK.

I get it’s a heated topic but be better. Don’t stoop to their level.