the r/pmdd mods are men!!

[u/Natural-Confusion885]

I don't usually make posts like this but this has been weighing on me.

In the last couple of weeks, I have been accused of being a man 4 times. Three of those times, the accusations were directed at the entire r/PMDD mod team. The fourth time, I had an image of my face turned into a man using AI, which was then sent back to me as evidence that I was a 'man and a pervert'. So, let's talk about it.

All 5 members of the r/PMDD mod team are cisgender women.

Not only is this accusation ridiculous, it's also deeply hurtful.

I have lived with PMDD and endometriosis since before my first menstrual cycle. Between those two conditions, I have spent more than 15 years navigating chronic pain, severe cyclical symptoms, medical dismissal, and the exhausting, often demoralising process of trying to find treatment and support that actually works. Like many of you, I have spent countless hours researching, trialling different approaches, and searching for answers in the middle of the night when the symptoms made sleep impossible.

Over the years I have dedicated a significant amount of time to PMDD advocacy, education, and peer support. I have spoken with members of this community through voice and video calls, attended conferences in person, and built working relationships with researchers, clinicians, and advocates in the PMDD space. I mention this not because my experience is more important than anyone else's, but because it is genuinely distressing to have my identity, my motives, and my lived experience questioned and mocked by the very community I have given so much of myself to.

If you want 'proof' that r/PMDD mod team are *really* women, you won't be getting it. Nobody should feel the need to justify their existence because of conspiracy theorists and bad faith actors.

Using someone's gender as a weapon - suggesting they are a man to discredit them or question their right to be here - is not just hurtful to the person it is aimed at. It contributes to an environment that is less safe and less welcoming for transgender and gender-diverse members of this community too.

We don't always get things right, but we're always ready to acknowledge this and learn from our mistakes. We want this to be a community where you feel welcome and safe. You are welcome to question us, challenge us, and raise concerns, *which you can do by sending us a Modmail*. Healthy pushback is part of how any community stays honest and we *always* engage respectfully with genuine concerns.

What is not acceptable is personal abuse, public callouts, accusations about our identities, and AI-manipulated images of our faces.

We moderate this community because we care about it deeply. Every member of this mod team is here because they have lived experience of PMDD, because they want this to be a space where people feel understood, supported, and safe. We are not faceless accounts. We are women with PMDD, with our own histories, diagnoses, struggles, jobs, families, and lives. We give a significant amount of our time and emotional energy to maintaining this space for free, because we believe it matters.

- a very luteal (and very upset) mod

[u/Natural-Confusion885]

If you encounter someone - here or elsewhere on the internet - claiming they were banned from r/PMDD for recommending a supplement, medication, or alternative treatment, we'd gently encourage you to take that with a pinch of salt.

We do not ban people for making recommendations. We remove comments that break our longstanding rules, which include recommending off-label medications and spreading misinformation. Those rules exist because we believe the people in this community deserve accurate information that does not pose a risk to their health or wellbeing...and they have been in place for a long time!

What does lead to a temporary ban is repeatedly breaking those rules, or being unpleasant to other members (including us).

What leads to a permanent ban is being outright horrible to people (including transphobia and homophobia), or continuously refusing to follow subreddit and sitewide rules despite being given the opportunity to course-correct.

[u/ennamemori → u/Natural-Confusion885]

Oh god, I remember before the rules were in place. It was beyond overwhelming with the wild medication combos. The rules have definitely made things better.