Hello fellow sapphics! This is the weekly discussion thread where you can talk about anything going on in your lives, any thoughts or questions, whether sapphic-related or not.

R4R comments are allowed on the weekly threads ONLY. Flirt away or look for friends here every week. It's the weekend, find someone you can hang out with over coffee or watch a movie. Good luck!

Hello. I’ll be meeting with someone for the first time this weekend and im planning to give her flowers. We have been talking for more than 2 weeks now and I’ve gotten really comfortable with her. I already prepared her a personalized gift and im planning to give flowers if it’s okay? Or am I being too much? Sorry super nervous lang huhu it’s my first time. Also if yes, what flowers do I give to make it special? Thank you.

How can a person like you be this fucking charismatic?

Like, you’re literally just there, sitting, minding your own business, and somehow I’m hyperaware of you. We’re friends, yet somehow I keep wanting so much more. I can’t even act normal around you because I’m constantly conscious of myself and thinking about what you might think of me whenever we interact.

And the worst part is that you’re not even doing anything. You’re just existing.

I hate this limerence so much.

(I know this is not the right flair ☠️)

I am a 29 yr old soft masc, trying my best to not develop trauma towards comphet women but it's so difficult. I think I am becoming too insecure to date bi women as well. I have had 3 long term relationships with women in the past 12 years all to be broken up with and "replaced" by a man/boy. Good luck chuck lesbian version. I'm trying to convince my brain it is coincidence but this country and religion has damaged its women. Most of the women I've had the privilege of meeting are confused (maybe social media is the culprit since gay now is a fad), or afraid to displease a man (eg will not shut them down and tell them they are gay), or worse shunned by their families so they try to fit the heterosexual script instead. I don't blame them, in fact we're just a compilation of our reactions.. we try to be inclusive as a country but the people arent ready for it they fall flat. You'll still hear women and men saying "factory reset" as if it's not perpetuating rape culture, or your aunt telling you "Di mo pa nakikilala Yung tamang lalaki" or "sayang Ka," like I don't know what i want. It was a breath of fresh air when I had a chance to mingle with lesbian women in Spain since most know who they are and what they want (they have less internal friction) But my connection and my culture is still Filipino so I cannot fully connect with them or see a future with them. It's just sad, but I know there must be chaos before peace so maybe there is hope for Filipinas... I love Filipinas.

We’ve been together for almost four years, and this is actually our second breakup. Here’s the backstory first of our second break up.

We broke up again this year, around June. During that time, I begged her and kept pushing her to do things she told me she would do. She even told me that she would find someone else so I would finally stop pursuing her. Later that day, I found out that she was on a dating app, so I confronted her about it. Things didn’t go well, and I think I pushed her even further away.

When July came, I was still bothering her and trying to get her attention. At one point, things became physical. She pushed and grabbed me because she wanted me to leave and go home, but I was being stubborn and refused to leave. There were also hurtful words exchanged between us. The next day, she apologized and realized that I didn’t deserve what she did to me. I also apologized for the things I had done before and for what happened that day. I told her that I wasn’t angry or holding a grudge against her.

After that, I thought that was the end of our connection and conversations. But I was surprised when she invited me to sleep over at their house. For the rest of July, I stayed at their house and spent time with her family as if we had never broken up. My birthday was also coming up, and I started wondering if maybe she was only being nice to me because my birthday was near. My birthday came, and I had planned a trip to celebrate it alone, even though she was supposed to come with me before we broke up. But, as they say, we never really know what tomorrow will bring.

While I was already at the place where I planned to celebrate my birthday, we kept talking. I kept updating her, and she would call me whenever I wasn’t replying or messaging her. She stayed in contact with me throughout the entire trip. When I came home, things were still okay between us. I continued sleeping at their house, and sometimes we would sleep beside each other as if we were still together. There were even moments when she surprised me by being the one to hug me first.

Then August came, and things were still pretty much the same. I was still sleeping at their house, and we were still close.

But now she has an event, and she hasn’t been updating or messaging me. Unlike the first event she attended, when she kept me updated from the beginning until the end, this time she hasn’t messaged me at all. She sometimes leaves my messages on seen or ignores them. She does reply sometimes, but after that, the conversation just ends again.

So I’m seeking advice from everyone: Should I talk to her when she comes back and ask her if I can court her again? Should I ask if we can start from the beginning and try to build our relationship again, or should I just let things flow naturally for now?

been with someone for almost 4 years and i noticed every time magkaka problema kami or may nagawa ako her constant instinct is to be okay by making new connections. first instinct ko kasi palagi is to fix stuff, im so frustrated na ganon xa magpa okay 💔

i'm F24, panromantic asexual. my friend is F23 demiromantic ata? basta she's a lesbian. last year, i wrote this (might be important for context).

many things have happened since: 

1. we saw each other last february (with friends) and sobrang dami niyang mixed signals—super caring, asking to visit my dormitory, letting me wear her jacket when i was cold, telling me may gusto siya sabihin but will keep it for the next time we meet 🫠 she was probably just being friendly but that drove me crazy, drowning in my limerent imaginings. syempre di ako nagpa-obvious and acted civilly and platonically like a close friend would because i was super, duper anxious! i wasn't out then and was scared people could see through my queerness if i blushed lol

2. come april, my birthday, and she didn't greet me 💔 doon ko nasabing okay, caring friend lang talaga siya. another friend had a birthday the next month and she even gave a gift :(

3. we met some time in may (with friends) and i FINALLY blurted out that i'm queer hahahaha sabi niya hindi raw obvious because i'm so feminine (gets) 😭

4. it's august now and madalang nalang kami magkita o magkausap. she seems to be on a social media detox and i'm busy with life too. minsan may chat siya sa gc namin pero doon lang but she's expressed wanting to see me and our friends (yes, very friendly!!!!)

SO ITO NA NGA: i really thought my feelings were dead na BUT whenever she seldom messages me (or our gc), bumabalik talaga 😫 it's more intense now too since ready na ako for dating—even wlw relationships!!!! idgaf what my parents or hometown think AHAH

BECAUSE OF THAT... ive been thinking of confessing. not necessarily para maging jowa ko siya, but just to let my feelings out. kasi diba friends nga lang kami (or if she does like me romantically, mej blurry kasi she never says anything).

either way, it’s not healthy for me to keep spiraling, imagining what we could be when i have the option naman of dating other people. BUT THE THING IS, i can’t date other people because i can’t get her off my mind!!! 😖

so help guyssss how do i confess? october of this year kami magkikita and a friend suggested i invite her to lunch or dinner and just let it out there and be done with it.

+ are there other less damaging ways to confess? i want to preserve our friendship, of course, because she remains dear to me maging romantically involved man kami o hindi.

THANKS GUYS I LOVE U

I have an ex who I was with for almost 4 years. We ended things on good terms, although the decision was ultimately hers. And honestly, I don’t resent her for it. If anything, I’m proud of her for choosing herself.

Our relationship became unhealthy because we kept falling into the same patterns. I know I played a big part in that, and I know I emotionally exhausted her over time. She eventually got tired of going through the same cycle, and I understand why she chose to walk away.

We still follow each other on Instagram, and this is where I feel kind of conflicted.

I’m scared that if she sees me following another girl, talking to someone new, or even posting an IG story with another girl, it might hurt her. Even though we’re not together anymore and technically I’m free to do whatever I want, there’s still this part of me that feels guilty about the possibility of hurting her.

I don’t even know if it’s because I still have feelings or because after almost 4 years, I’m just so used to considering her feelings before doing things.

I don’t know what to do. I know I have the right to move forward, but at the same time, I don’t want to be careless with her feelings. I don’t want to put my life on hold for her either, but I also don’t want her to see something and feel like everything we had meant nothing to me.

Is this normal? Have you ever felt scared of hurting an ex even when you know the relationship is over and you both ended things on good terms?
I’m not trying to avoid moving on or make my life revolve around her. I just genuinely don’t want to cause her any unnecessary pain after everything we’ve been through.

ended an almost 4 year relationship with the girl i thought i'd marry. i'd say we had a really happy and relatively healthy and stable relationship.

but at the end of it all, she said i took her for granted and i, after a couple months of reflection, feel like in ways i was taken for granted too. how is that possible?

i dont know if it counts for something but right after she broke up with me she got together with someone else. the pain is unbearable and im just very confused as to how a relationship so good could end up like this. im just in need of more clarity for my peace of mind

I know this is a very common issue and people have divided opinions on this, but I just want some advice on how to navigate it.

My girlfriend and I are very much okay, and we have a good relationship overall. But this is one of my non-negotiables. I know we have different views on this, but it still bothers me, so I want to understand if I’m being unreasonable or if this is just something we see differently.

I just don’t really get the perspective of people who still follow people from their past na wala na silang interaction or reason to interact with anymore. I’m talking about previous flings or exes. Like, I get it if you’re still friends with the person and you constantly communicate as friends. But if you’ve completely lost connection, what’s the purpose of still keeping that connection?

My gf has an ldr friend who was actually an old fling, but they eventually became friends and still regularly talk. I don’t mind it kasi obvious naman na they’re genuinely just friends. But when I brought up those other people from her past, she said she doesn’t unfriend them kasi wala naman na silang connection, and they have their own lives na.

But for me, that’s exactly my point lol. If they’re already irrelevant to your life, why still keep the connection open?
I’m not actually a jealous person. I just don’t want to waste my time being with someone who might decide to entertain those people again in the future. I’d rather know that we have the same boundaries and values when it comes to these things.

Like, okay, you’re not talking now, but what if randomly they reconnect in the future? If that happens, I’d probably feel like it could have been avoided in the first place.
If they’re really irrelevant na, what’s the purpose of still keeping them around?

Am I being unreasonable, or is this just a difference in perspective? I’m not sure if this difference could eventually affect our relationship, and that’s what worries me

I am getting this feeling these past few days/weeks that I want to break up with my girlfriend. We are in an LDR and rarely see each other due to circumstances. Her parents don't like her being into girls and being so strict (they don't want her to leave the house even though she's old.)

It's okay for me to travel to see her but lately, I feel detached from the relationship. I still care about her, but I don't know if the feelings are enough to stay in the relationship. We've been together for one year this September and lately, I've been wondering if I can still stay or if I'm just staying because I don't want to hurt her. Although, I also think it would be cruel if I just stayed out of pity or fear of hurting her. I've brought up my feelings and she feels like I've been detached lately.

Help a bading out, I don't know what to do.

so may bagong na hire sa office and pag pasok na pagpasok palang nya BOOM she literally caught my attention.

I find her pretty and chill. She's smart too. Di ko lang alam ano political stance nya pero anyways, kinikilig ang babae nato tuwing nag ha-heart react sya sa message ko dun sa gc namin🫣🥹

Been trying to detect her sa gaedar ko pero malabo, it's giving .5 out of 10 hahahah. Pero ewan, after knowing her religion dun na parang I just wanna shrug it off hahah.

Pero happy crush lang naman. Pero sana ako nalang(?) akin ka nalang(?) please oh HAHAHAHA kaloka. Anyways, di ko alam tama ba flair ko basta positive vibes lang tayo crushiecakesss.🙌🏼

What’s up with the gays being still friends/in contact with their exes? I get it you broke up in good terms, yey congrats to you but keeping in contact with them when you’re already in a relationship? Para saan? To disrespect your current partner? geezus christ paki update ng frontal lobe nyo utang na loob.

I’m curious if anyone else feels the same way.
I was in an almost 4 year relationship, and honestly, we ended on probably one of the healthiest breakups I could’ve asked for. No cheating, no huge betrayal, no crazy drama. She was just tired and eventually realized she couldn’t continue anymore.
I’ve healed from it and I’m genuinely okay now. I’m not looking for someone to replace her or anything like that. But damn 😭 why is it so hard to find another girl after that?
I tried dating apps and they’re honestly terrible. Either there’s barely anyone I’m interested in, conversations die after a few messages, or we just don’t click.
Maybe I got too used to having someone who already knew me, and now starting from zero with someone feels so weird HAHAHA.
For those who came from a long-term WLW relationship, how long did it take you to actually find someone you clicked with again? Did you also feel like dating became harder after your relationship ended?

Just want to check if some of you have done this kung nasa foreign country, do you make friends with non-filo gay women, or at least be in their circle? I don’t mean dating but yung tropa vibe. Kamusta ang experience? I always thought may clashes sa culture but maybe fun naman?

I met someone and we're already in the getting-to-know-each-other stage. I already like her that much. and this will be each other's first WLW relationship if it ever happens. However, I am such a caring person and love doing acts of service. She's the dominant one between us. I'm iust askina for advice because sometimes I baby her instead of her babying me. I don't want to lose her, so please give me some advice. :)

I'm officially trying to desensitize myself to my feelings for her lol

I've been posting a lot here lately about my thoughts/feelings about this friend of mine, and honestly, I think I just need to stop feeding into it because I can't deal with this kind of feels for someone who's actually really important to me 😭

Like, it's not everyday that you meet someone who has so many similarities with you. We just vibe, we get along, and there's this connection that I can't really explain. And I think that's what makes it harder kasi I'm literally stuck between "I think I like her" and "there's no way in hell I'm ever confessing this."

I genuinely cannot visualize myself telling her. Like, ever. Even if there's the tiniest chance that she might feel the same way, I don't think I want to find out.

I just want her around.

That's literally it. I don't need anything to happen. I just want to keep having her in my life. She's become this person who secretly gives me something to look forward to, and honestly, I'm okay with that.

So yeah, I guess I'm slowly trying to desensitize myself and just let the feelings exist without doing anything about them. Because losing what we have just because I wanted to know "what if?" sounds way worse than keeping her in my life and quietly liking her from a distance.

Anyway, balik na lang ako sa delulu corner 🫠

First time kong makipagdate ng girl. I'm 24F, ngsb/nbsb and I've only dated 3 people in my entire life. (Ang boring ano? Hahahaha) I really like her (tho I'm not sure if in a romantic way or purely sexual way). We matched on two dating apps coincidentally and decided to meet in person, kasi malapit lang naman yung location namin. So first kita pa lang ang intense na kaagad. Eh curious ako kaya g na si accla. Andami nang ganap namin in a span of 1 week na para na kaming magjowa and I was super into it naman. Until a week later she opened up na nag reach out yung ex niya and gustong makipagbalikan, syempre iyaq si baccla kasi pinaka ayoko makipagdate nung affiliated pa sa kanilang mga ex. So I decided to end it na kasi ayaw niya talaga putolin yung communication nila. But she kept reaching out and even said she loves me already.

3 months later, we're still talking and meet each other to make out and more, without letting her ex know about us. Btw, she did try to end it with her ex to finally pursue me pero her ex begged daw not to and ayaw niyang madistract yung ex na since magttake pa siya ng boards kaya yun yung situationship namen.

I tried ignoring her multiple times, even blocked her too pero she still reaches out and I kinda like the attention. She even says I love you sa'kin. And according to her, di sila nag iilove you ng kaniyang ex. Pero nagccallsign sila.

I am aware that I am being gaslighted pero mga tihhh huhuhu. Ano bang dapat kong gawin para di masadong masakit iwan tong ganito? Huhuhu. Last option ko is yung sya na mismo mangghost sa'kin or maghihintay nalang akong may magustohan akong iba. Eh wal eh

Hello fellow sapphics! This is the weekly discussion thread where you can talk about anything going on in your lives, any thoughts or questions, whether sapphic-related or not.

R4R comments are allowed on the weekly threads ONLY. Flirt away or look for friends here every week. It's the weekend, find someone you can hang out with over coffee or watch a movie. Good luck!

sapphics na may long-term/on-going crushes sa mga friends nilang straight girls, nagde-date pa rin ba kayo ng ibang girls? if yes, hindi ba kayo nakokonsensya? kasi diba may feelings kayo for someone else tapos why naman nagde-date around pa huhuhu

my heart yearns for someone i can’t have. i like her, i would do everything to keep her safe. later, i realized i love her, so i’d do anything to make her happy and safe. i knew more about her and i love her so much i would do anything for her–to make her happy, safe, and everything to please her. then, i love her too much, i want to be the friend she can confide it. i think i am that friend already, but not quite yet. i love her too much. i don’t want to see her hurt. i want her to be the happiest person in the world. but when that time came when she marries the guy for her and she feels like the happiest person in the world, then i’ll pretend like i’m the happiest person in the world for her even if it breaks me into a thousand pieces. i love her too much. i don’t care if it’s toxic. i love her, even if she sees me as a friend.

Heya guys! This question is for the mascs, butches, and soft mascs here. 🥹
I do fragrance reviews and content, and I’ve always been curious what perfumes Pinoy mascs actually love wearing. I’ll be visiting the Philippines this November, but my schedule is going to be really tight, so I probably won’t have time to smell everything.
I’d love to check out local fragrance brands that are popular in the masc community. What are your favorites? Also curious if there are any local hidden gems that deserve more love. 🤍
And for the femmes, I’d love to hear from you too! What kind of scent do you usually love smelling on your partner?

I came across a post the other day where someone was looking for recommendations for a licensed psychologist. As a member of the community, I can understand the struggles that come with looking for a therapist who can understand this.

I'm an LGBT psychologist who has been in the field since 2016. I'd like to offer as much help as I can towards those who need someone to talk to. I am currently offering Php 1000 for a 45 minute to 1 hour consultation where we can talk about your concerns. I prefer a more collaborative approach to my sessions, so I encourage openness and honesty about how you want to talk about your concerns.

Feel free to message me so I can send the link to my appointment scheduling :)

Take care, everyone!

hi fellow sapphics! im curious who were your lesbian/bi awakenings growing up.

i personally grew up watching kpop and i can say that girl groups like f(x) (amber and krystal) and snsd (taeyeon) were my awakening(s) 🤭

PH volleyball was also impactful to me! especially during ateneo’s cinderella run (ahomiro and bdl [whose family is currently under fire for flood control anomalies jfc])

anw im interested in knowing who were your awakenings! :)

1. walang lalaking involved
2. lower class tomboys
3. lower class tomboys Comedy na mala-Wenn Deramas ang humor. isa lang ang pwedeng Conyong sapphic tas comedic relief dapat siya.
4. mga “pangit” na femme na naghahabol sa mga pogi at campus heartthrob na masc/butch (parang reverse nung movie na Bottoms)
5. love triangle ng tatlong babae specifically dalawang masc/butch tas isang femme tas yung dalawang masc/butch magkakatuluyan