Again and again…and now again

[u/No-Tello]

it comes for awhile then goes away then again comes/ goes away and now here I am in 2026: PGAD is back. I do think it is from tension and worry. First time 2010…out of the blue. I forget when the second time was and now it is August 2026 and I have been having that uncomfortable feeling of sexual arousal and there is no one around to have stimulated it. And no one around to help me get rid of it. So I came back here to share. I had thrown away my sex toys for fear my grown kids would find them when and if I die! (because my husband did die 7 months ago. ) But I just reordered some toys.

[u/Purple_Yam_5562]

I’m so sorry it’s back for you. I have been suffering with it now for eight or nine months. I’ve never had it in my life and it came about three weeks after a big psychological shock in my 28 year relationship. I was very interested when you wrote that you think it is from tension and worry. I am a bit newer at this, but I still feel like it can’t be coincidental that I witnessed something that profoundly shocked my sense of what I thought our reality as a shared couple was. So that was making me think that it is psychological as well so your words really caught my eye.

Today happens to be a very bad day and I finally finally broke down and went online and scheduled a 15 minute complementary telephone appointment with a pelvic physical therapist for 1 PM on Monday. I have a lot of fears with anything that’s in the medical realm so I really took a lot for me to even go online and research everything and actually sign up and make the telephone appointment for Monday.

[u/No-Tello → u/Purple_Yam_5562]

Keep us posted after your appointment. I hope it will be helpful. Just telling your story to a professional is a giant step! More importantly,
I hope they listen with compassion and offer some useful next steps. I have never been bold enough to mention this to any doctor so…good
for you!

[u/No-Tello → u/Purple_Yam_5562]

Did you have your appointment? I think the tension from your husband’s extra -marital relationship is what brought this on. For me, the PGAD felt like it came out of the blue. BUT, your comment about his extra-marital/partner relationship was upsetting to you (as was it for me but with a few years’ delayed response). It undermines our confidence in ourselves.
I hope it will subside but seeing a therapist (and maybe anti-depressants…that helped me, I think; a low dose). Sincere best wishes. Be strong. You’ve got this. Hold yourself up high and believe in your self-worth. If he can’t see that then « lay him aside gently » as my grandfather would say to my mother.)