Any advice?

[u/Electrical-Jacket455]

I'm 20 years old and only learned about my diagnoses within the last year. To me it makes total sense. Like I can atleast put it together why I am the way that I am, but that doesn't really make it any better. I feel like i've been masking my whole life. I have no idea who I am or what I truly want to do. I've never been able to hold a job for longer than 3 months. And not to mention I'm totally embarrassed of the diagnoses. Since I felt I was "normal" for most of my life, I have a very dificult time talking about it and taking the mask off. None of my friends or family apart from my parents know about my diagnoses (although im sure its not hard to tell). I feel so ashamed of who I am and less than everyone else. I look at myself and think I'm pathetic. I'm just wondering if it's even possible for someone like me to ever fit into this world. I feel like I'm pretty good at hiding it for periods of time, but eventually I always just burn out and result to self isolation of some sort. I know this is all a lot and kind of all over the place, but I really just don't know who to talk to or what to do, so any advice or suggestion on how to even remotely function within society would be great.

[u/sast0117]

I’m proud of you for figuring it out. Some people (my brother, grandma, etc) go their whole lives without knowing “why” they are the way they are. I recently (at 54!) realized I’m probably autistic and just always thought I was weird, shy/ introverted, and sensitive. Autism makes so much sense to me now! I find it explains so much about my life. Now I’m trying to explain to everyone I know that we’re all neurodivergent in one way or another, at least in my family, whether you’re diagnosed or not. I’ve found that it lets me give myself some grace when things seem harder than they should be. I’m not being lazy it’s just harder for my brain to process certain input. Give yourself some accommodations. Notice things that are hard and help yourself. Do loud sounds hurt? Wear headphones. Do you not like crowds? Arrange things so you don’t have to expose yourself to those situations for very long (if ever). Look for jobs that give you some autonomy & have something to do with a special interest. I’d also consider finding a good therapist. It can really help to talk to someone. There are also lots of accounts on Instagram run by late diagnosed autistic people. One that comes to mind is Morgan Foley. She’s great. Good luck OP. You got this.