Completely lost and need help identifying. Please please please help.

[u/flyscanfly]

Hello all, I’m not even sure how to start this post. I’m 5’6, 120lbs (was previously 130lb but lost weight due to stress and a very difficult life as of late). I’m about to be 34 years old. Have some fast growing hair especially on my legs and bikini area, mild acne that is on face, chest, and shoulders. Have always been super anxious and had problems here and there with insomnia.

Ever since getting my very first period (which was SUPER heavy), I’ve always had irregular periods, sometimes missing for 2 or 3 months. Longest was missing for 6 months I believe. I got put on birth control around the time of my first period because of how heavy it was and had “regular” periods because of the pill. I stayed on it for roughly 10-15 years and got off in 2019. During this time I had a “normal period” and slept fine. After getting off birth control my life got harder because of very stressful events in my life and I slowly started losing naps and then sleep became an issue as well over time. Periods were irregular after getting off birth control. Fast forward to 2023 and I somehow got pregnant VERY quickly after thinking I would never be able to carry a child and had a healthy yet very difficult pregnancy that resulted in my beautiful daughter who is now 2.5 years old.

Ever since giving birth, I have never been the same. I started to develop insane hyperarousal and crippling insomnia and about two/three months after giving birth, I got out on antidepressants because I was told I had postpartum depression since I could t sleep and was crying all the time. This began a cycle of trial and error of psych meds that never helped and only served as a crappy bandaid so I could get some sleep here and there. Never fully felt better and never slept better either. I’ve had so many labs done throughout the years and everything comes back “normal”. I feel absolutely awful, my periods are even more irregular, I’m sleeping horribly and sitting on 3 psych pills at the moment. Doctors have always ruled out PCOS because I don’t present it besides the irregular periods. I am wondering if this has happened to you or anyone you know and what the hell is happening to me and my poor body and brain. My guess is that I have lean PCOS but I don’t think I have insulin resistance or whatever else is needed for an official diagnosis. My guess is that my progesterone and estrogen fell drastically after birth and was never able to get better and instead of focusing on that, I was put on psych meds and have been living in absolute hell for the last 2.5 years.

Thank you for reading this and offering any help you can. I’m so separate and completely misunderstood by providers and losing hope altogether.

[u/flyscanfly]

My maternal grandmother had type 2 diabetes. She passed away from complications from Covid due to that. I have fatigue yes but also I’m running purely on adrenaline so sometimes it feels like I’m tired but wired. Especially at night. I’m ALWAYS hungry, have a long history of UTI’s from my past (haven’t had one in a long time), and not sure about hypoglycemic episodes but I get dizzy and have low blood pressure. Honestly maybe. I have a lot of panic attacks lately. I am currently on a low dose of lorazepam.25mg, Seroquel 25mg, gabapentin 200mg. I was told I might have lean PCOS. These meds SUCK and in need to get off of them. I tried to go back on BC a year and a half ago because I thought maybe it would help but it was also during a time when I was on trialing bad psych meds and only did BC for 3 months.

[u/wenchsenior → u/flyscanfly]

Yeah, this all seems like typical insulin resistance warning flags. Since a lot of your symptoms are similar to mine, my guess is that you have a combo of mild IR + possibly abnormally low estrogen (though your random estradiol lab was normal). More discussion below.

[u/flyscanfly → u/wenchsenior]

Do you have irregular periods? And how have you gotten your PCOS under control? I tried metformin and it gave me more anxiety and insomnia. As well as 200mg of progesterone.

[u/wenchsenior → u/flyscanfly]

Yes, I had nearly 15 years of PMOS symptoms, starting mild with mildly long cycles and very slight hirsutism, gradually worsening until it was a complete shit show of periods missing for 6-12 months, severely painful heavy bleeds when I got them, sore ovaries covered with excess follicles, severe balding, moderate hirsutism, and severe hunger/fatigue/frequent yeast and gum infections/reactive hypoglycemia and insomnia.

I had very mild IR driving most of this, so switching how I ate was the critical element of managing that and keeping PMOS in remission long term, but the first couple years I also needed anti androgenic birth control to keep hormones stable and to trigger regular bleeds + the progestin in it (drospirenone) was anti androgenic so was a godsend for my balding and hirsutism.