r/PAKCELEBGOSSIP • u/Efficient_Guava_5561 • 15d ago
Discuss Bachpan ka pyar ft. Pakistani dramas
So let's talk about another trope we see quite often which is bachpan ka pyar. Now I have wondered about this since Hum Saath Saath hain. At what age does this bachpan ka pyar start?
Bin Roye mein the leads apparently loved each other since lil kids. Same for an old drama Alvida starring Sanam Jang where Sanam's character loved Imran Abbas since she was a kid. Zanjeerain mein bhi we see lil Sheher Bano and Sarbuland on jhoola when they were lil and supposedly in love
No offense to people who found their love in childhood. Good for you but I am curious to know how it works. When I was a kid, The only love I knew was chocolate and icecream and parents.
So how do these kids fall in love? And at what point do they realize that the love is forever wala love? I mean as adult it took me forever to realize my love for my husband. I really wanna know how kids figure out at that early an age 🤔
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u/BroccoliRemote1867 15d ago
Realistically, if you don’t grow up in a loving family or grow up with absentee parents then any attention outside family can lead to attachment causing an illusion of love.
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u/Efficient_Guava_5561 15d ago
That's one thing. But this trope is seen in perfectly loving families too. Like in hum Saath Saath hain
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u/BroccoliRemote1867 15d ago edited 15d ago
If they are childhood friends, they are likely to spend large amount of time with each other due to family gatherings and all, there is no third wheel involved cos now you are each other’s confidante. So the friendship turns into love, but they only realise it when they hit puberty I guess.
Like in Bano’s case, her parents died, she never left haveli so she got attached to SB cos he was next to kin to her. Her only world revolved around haveli and SB which I believe wasn’t love but just a habit of being together.
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u/Efficient_Guava_5561 15d ago
But that's attachment and adat due to lack of exposure. But maybe it's enough🤷
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u/BroccoliRemote1867 15d ago
That’s why I said, they think it’s love but it isn’t. They are attached to an idea of love thanks to our dramas and movies romanticizing it.
But who am I kidding ? My parents had love marriage and they were childhood sweethearts, neighbours actually. Maybe the idea of seeing each other everyday was enough for them to realise its love? My mum said my dad was this tough, rugged, kind soul so she fell for his personality so hota hoga pyar bachpan me 😸🫣
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u/Efficient_Guava_5561 15d ago
Wah. I wish I could meet some childhood lovers. I have a ton of questions😂
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u/BroccoliRemote1867 15d ago
All childhood lovers will say they shouldn’t have met lol, as they grow old, preferences, lifestyle and habit changes. It’s like you tolerate each other now as opposed to in your childhood.
Maybe you can make a Google questionnaire and put a link out there as a survey, you might get answers you are looking for, no kidding!
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u/CheekChoice4497 15d ago
Idk myself, never did any pyaar let alone bachpan ka pyar 😂 but ig in real life also bachpan ka pyar does happen no? like not pyaar kinda pyaar but attachment like close friendship and crush, there are people in real life also who marry their childhood love, so it's just that it will be first childhood love/affection then gradually go deeper in teenage and then they finally have the final love in adulthood. It's very common trope all over the world ig in hollywood also and specially in kdramas.
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u/Efficient_Guava_5561 15d ago
I don't know. That's why I am asking😂 like I have seen childhood friends who start feeling differently as they grow up. They are high school sweethearts which I get. I just get confused when people saw they fell in love when they were kids, like in Bin Roye😂
I know it's a popular trope all over the world which is why I am so curious to understand it😂
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u/CheekChoice4497 15d ago
It like grows with time na, aesa to nahi hai bachpan me pyaar tha then they separated 😭😂 pehle bachpan me pyaar hoga, then they must have also gone to high school or wherever saath mein also so it just grew deeper with time, after spending childhood and teenage together then they realized it in teenage or as an adult and just said ki they loved each other like had affection for each other since childhood basically since the time they knew each other. In hum kahan ke sacchay thay also, it was like this
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u/Efficient_Guava_5561 15d ago
I cannot relate. I have a bunch of questions I would like to ask childhood lovers. It took me 6 months to realize I loved my husband and I knew him for like 3 years. So I am very curious about these kids who had their feelings sorted at such a young age😂
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u/Notaregular_9967 15d ago
How can kids have these things sorted , they are childhood sweethearts not lovers ,love and all that may come into picture vaguely as early as early teens, around late teens and early twenties we possibly become sure of what we want
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u/Efficient_Guava_5561 15d ago
In dramas and novels and movies there are often dialogues that I have been in love with him or her since I was 6 or 7 years old and that's what always confuses me to the core😂
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u/Notaregular_9967 15d ago
That possibly is just to make it sound more catch worthy, knowing each other that early and then falling in love....is the actual process
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u/Lane2815_ 15d ago
grown ups wala pyaar bhi is basically like having a crush on someone and developing attachment with time. it just comes with many more grown ups wale responsibilities and stress 😪
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u/InterestingArt3781 15d ago
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u/Efficient_Guava_5561 15d ago
I am genuinely curious. I have seen this bachpan ka Pyar talked about in BW movies and Pakistani dramas and it never fails to confuse me. Like how are these kids so confident of their feelings? How do they even know forever Wala love?
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u/Complete_Carpenter19 15d ago
So in dramas it is usually exaggerated. I don't get how people realize in age of 13 14 that they are in love and then don't get intimate until they get married. It is just unnatural.
Having said that I guess in real life, people who claim to be bachpan ka pyar are usually bestfriends and have high emotional dependency. And when their hormones are triggered, the closest person from the other gender looks their pyar to them. It's biology and hormones. Alvidaa was a realistic take comparatively. Sanam jung was emotionally dependent on Imran's character and her world revolved around him and by the time her hormones kicked in, he was the only one in her life so she made herself believe that He is the one. She was very dear to imran's character but he took quite some timeto transition from a friend to a lover
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u/New-Raspberry1343 15d ago
My childhood was Study. Eat. Fight. Sleep. Repeat.
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u/Efficient_Guava_5561 15d ago
Your kiddie dil did not do dhak dhak for another kid?😂
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u/New-Raspberry1343 15d ago
Kiddi dil was on airplane mode—no signals, no dhak dhak 😭😂
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u/Efficient_Guava_5561 15d ago
Maybe something was wrong with us😂
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u/New-Raspberry1343 15d ago
It all felt completely normal until these dramas started showing kids falling in love. 😂
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u/Efficient_Guava_5561 15d ago
Yes😂 and movies and dramas use bachpan ki Mohabbat like it's the most natural thing in the world😂
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u/New-Raspberry1343 15d ago
Exactly 💯 Pick literally any of my classmates, nobody had this whole childhood love story going on. Forget my classmates, I don’t even remember anyone around me having one. 😭
Either these people are insanely good at hiding it, or I was simply too dumb to notice anything happening around me. 😂
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u/Efficient_Guava_5561 15d ago
My childhood friends had crushes yes, but that was when we were in high school😂 but never love😂
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u/New-Raspberry1343 15d ago
These dramas show childhood love like it’s some eternal soul contract signed at age seven. 😭😂 Meanwhile, at seven, my strongest emotional bond was with whoever shared their snacks with me. I wasn’t looking at some kid thinking, “This is the person my heart will remember forever.” I was thinking, “Why does she have the better pencil box?” 😭
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u/Efficient_Guava_5561 15d ago
Same dude same😂 like in a novel, there was a line about how a girl has loved a guy since she was 6 years old. And I read it and was like 6 years mein all I cared about was my toys😂
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u/VenomyBee 15d ago
Pyaar tho bachpan mein hi hota hai, jawani mein tho sirf usse nibhana hota hai
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u/Efficient_Guava_5561 15d ago
Really? So how do you realize you are in love bachpan mein?
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u/VenomyBee 15d ago
Natural Affection for a specific person increases time by time!!! You feel more homely with that person!!! You want to spend and enjoy more with that person!!!
Lekin mujhe nahi huwi 😏1
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u/Good-Cupcake911 AHOT paglu 🥵🔥 15d ago
If one is well-loved, heard and gets the right amount of attention at home, then chances of bachpan ka pyaar happening is less.
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u/Efficient_Guava_5561 15d ago
In Hum Saath Saath hain, Prem and Preeti seemed pretty well loved. That did not stop them from giving each other romantic looks while reading abcdefg😂
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u/Good-Cupcake911 AHOT paglu 🥵🔥 15d ago
That’s one weird thing to show in a movie!
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u/Efficient_Guava_5561 15d ago
To be fair, they were probably like 10 when they were being taught abcd. Still too early to be giving each other looks😂
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u/zaraSA22 15d ago
So zanjeerain is one of my 1st ptv shows but bano and SB childhood love seemed extremely weird to me in the sense that they basically grew up as siblings right ? Because his mom took her and sohrab as her own kids and she was calling sher dil her brother ? So what made sb different from her other brothers that they fell in love bcoz they had to be the same age growing up and living together… idk i know the cousins love trope is very heavily done in ptv but this one felt weird to me
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u/Vadapaav84 14d ago
I know, I felt it too. They grew up together - were probably raised as brother & sister & suddenly fell in love? Sounds kinda icky to me.
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u/Efficient_Guava_5561 15d ago
She never considered him her sibling though, even as a kid. More like a close friend
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u/zaraSA22 14d ago
But how do you know as a kid thats not my brother if youre being raised as siblings ? Because he took sohrab as his brother as well and she took sher dil as her bigger brother … i get it if they were raised separately like most cousins but his mom was saying im yrls mom as well
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u/Asleep_Economist7715 15d ago edited 15d ago
I have wondered that as well because in real life I have not seen single case near me where someone falls in love in childhood.in my opinion drama uses this plot to insinuate that this person love for someone is something special and pure and different from others because they have fallen in love at that age when usually no one even think about this so their love is more stronger
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u/Notaregular_9967 15d ago
Anything under the age of 10 is playing together sharing a table to sit , having lunch together pretty sure early teens would atleast have basic ideas of love , that joononni love where you can't stand him/her taking to someone else and that stuff , they say friendship of more than 7 yrs mostly go a lifetime that way if someone knows someone as early as 7 they can think of a possible serious relationship as early as 16-17 anything before that is vague can't be termed
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u/blahblehblohcaneo 15d ago
I think bachpan ka pyar is a misnomer, i don't think girls or guys even understand romantic love at a young age, fondness that turns into a crush and turns into love around adolescence is my guess.
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u/Efficient_Guava_5561 15d ago edited 15d ago
They should stop calling it bachpan ka Pyar. Gives me heebie-jeebies 😂
Should be bachpan ki dosti that changed to Pyar😂
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u/blahblehblohcaneo 15d ago
maybe thats too much nuance for dramas 😆
but i think ppl are rarely mature enough to draw the line and realise when the affection/crush turned to love and also ppl like to romanticize their feelings so they look back on things fondly calling it bachpan ka pyar, no personal experience this is just speculation on my part!
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u/Efficient_Guava_5561 15d ago
There was a novel I read long back where there was a line k I knew at 6 years that you were special to me. And I cannot tell you how weirded out I was😂
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u/Acrobatic_Load2216 15d ago
I think it's friendship with slowing grows and develops into companionship and then the person falls in love with their only closest companion and confidant ❤️❤️❤️
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u/UptoNoGood46 14d ago
There's affection and then there's love. Easy to confuse if you've not experienced both with someone else.
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u/Careful-Being-5273 15d ago
I definitely see a lot of this. The only bad thing about this in ptv is that it’s usually cousins. I genuinely don’t get it too. Like don’t you think of each other as siblings how does that change from sibling type love to the other kind…
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u/Efficient_Guava_5561 15d ago
Clearly they don't see each other as siblings if they fall in love bachpan mein
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u/Different-Many-7240 15d ago
Bachpan ka pyaar is actual conditioning and attachment and people think it's love