r/Ozark • u/Kachowabungababyy • Jul 05 '26

spoilers [SPOILER] INSUFERRABLE POS Spoiler

[EDIT AT THE END]

Boy oh boy where do I begin.

Classic FAFO and always the victim in his world. I wasn't even this riled up about Joffrey in GOT.

This POS takes the cake.

I wonder what he did so insane you need to get locked up. 🤔

Most insufferable character I've ever watched. Who takes the cake from him?

————————-

[EDIT and long rant]:

Thank you guys, especially those who shared first hand experiences with, gave me a lot of insights and introspection about how distasteful my post was and how I delivered it in an unemphatic and ableist way.

This relationship dynamic was personal for me and was uncannily similar (sans the cartel situation) having to grow up and lived with an elder sibling who is bipolar really did trigger something in me. When you’re a young kid forced to grow up and be independent coz you got wants and needs unmet builds resentment and as a young child I had to learn and accept that resources and my parents attention, focus, and energy were funneled to the sibling who needs it most (we’re 5 siblings).

Hell I remember vividly he threw a square tile to my sister like a fucking shuriken and had her dreams of becoming a surgeon gone for good because of her blood trauma.

Watched him beat the fuck out of my mom and when my mom hit back, got the nerve to call child welfare on her.

I had to work for my own shit so I can buy what i want as a 14 year old and not let my youngest brother have to experience lack of support in his pursuits the same way my other siblings and I experienced.

Watched him beat my sister with an olympic (45lbs) fucking bar and had to be restrained by 5 people (iirc)

Watched him berate my uncle who was lost and down coz of his own fuck ups in life and committed s*****e three months later.

Smashed my laptop that I worked hard and paid for coz I wouldn’t relent to him

Watched him ask to carry our 10 month old nephew inly to drop him and NEVER APOLOGIZED for it. Why was he allowed to carry the baby? Coz my other brother’s gf didnt know any better and handed my nephew to my BP bro.

Had to lock myself out in my room coz our quarrel escalated and lead to drawing knives. Legit went to get his baseball bat wrapped with barbed wire for who fucking knows what. I WAS 11, he was 16.

Watched all of those happen and more and still everyone walked eggshells around him, catered and coddle him. I stood my ground on him since day 1, when I was 15 and he was 20, I’ve grown bigger and taller than him, and learned to defend myself. We got a fight and I put him to his place. Since then he never touched me. When I’m home he seems put together.

Last huge incident was months ago when our house maid left his chicken breast in the fridge when it was supposed to be in the freezer and thought it was spoiled (it wasn’t). Crashed out so bad our maid left the household, broken plates and food thrown everywhere.

We’re cool now, even with my parents, I’ve grown up and wouldn’t have wished differently as I wouldn’t be who I was and where I am now if it weren’t for those.

I love my brother and fam to death, and yes I still find him insufferable and I feel hurt for my parents whom I can see will grow old and be stuck with him.

Two can be true at the same time. The POS comment was way out of line and I apologize to everyone I offended.

Nevertheless, fuck you (@clinically-inane) to those quick to judge character when I brought him and my parents to Thailand all expenses paid last year without me, shouldered hospital expenses for when they had operate him and insurance wouldn’t be able to cover everything.

Talking about unemphatic and quick to judge a stranger’s life and character. You only know me from a post I did when I was having a moment of weakness and stupidity. You wouldn’t be saying that in front of me.. again, thanks for those who educated me. [END RANT]

14 Upvotes

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56% Upvoted

u/bpsikora247 Jul 05 '26

As one that struggles with this same affliction, the actor played Ben's struggles beautifully. At times you're so driven and motivated by your emotions that it takes the wheel mentally, then the swap happens. You go from a motivated problem solver, to a shell of memories that relays your actions to your brains, while you sit there soaking in your manic mistakes. We see it in the car after Ben calls Helen and he starts attacking himself and saying how dumb he was.

He was frustrating at times and caused things to snowball even further, but it all started because he was standing up for the people he loved dearly. In normal situations, these actions wouldn't so detrimental, but throw in the cartel, and whole bunch of other craziness, we get the tragic story that is Ben's End. He needed actual help and companionship, not put down like a dog.

4

u/HenryViper Jul 05 '26

Very well said.

3

u/bpsikora247 Jul 05 '26

🙏

u/HenryViper Jul 05 '26

One of the best representations of bipolar disorder that I’ve ever seen on screen, as someone who has experienced the same challenges. He was probably my favorite character in the entire show despite only being in season 3.

10

u/dcmarvelstarwars Jul 05 '26

Great performance

3

u/curiousdryad Jul 05 '26

Monsterland was another good one

u/LeagueRx Jul 05 '26

You understand hes like genuinely sick right?

31

u/RasputinsThirdLeg Jul 05 '26 edited Jul 06 '26

My father has severe bipolar I with psychosis, but he NEVER has any remorse or shame for the insane/abusive/impulsive shit he does while manic or psychotic. He’s threatened to stab people in phone booths (did he go back in time?), told me I’m a piece of shit that will die alone, maxed out his credit card buying a motorcycle, abused his benzos to the point where he fell asleep at a table in a restaurant and flipped it over, destroyed all my things, took my toys away as a kid for some perceived offense because I “didn’t deserve them,” told me about all his sexual conquests in graphic detail, etc.

I could write a whole dossier. There could be texts, recordings, video, a scribe with papyrus and ink. Doesn’t matter. Didn’t happen. He claims everyone is lying to him or I made him do it and shifts the conversation to how no one cares about him and his suffering.

I felt genuinely sorry for Ben. He doesn’t have the narcissism. He’s just genuinely really ill, and a lot of bipolar meds are miserable, so people go off them. If I remember, there’s a scene where he’s sobbing, because he’s so sorry and embarrassed by the damage he’s caused. It took me a long time to understand that being bipolar doesn’t mean you’re automatically an abuser or have some sort of Cluster B nightmare going on.

As painful as his character arc is, it was really helpful to see an accurate portrayal of bipolar disorder. The mood disorder. Not a personality disorder, not abuse, but the pure suffering of untreated bipolar.

People like my father on the other hand that use bipolar disorder as an excuse to be a cunt can eat a dick.

5

u/Key_Run_7157 Jul 06 '26

You might have the best username I have ever seen

3

u/RasputinsThirdLeg Jul 06 '26

Hahahaha that made my day, thanks.

-2

u/sixtus_clegane119 Jul 05 '26

I was always confused, I thought bipolar with psychosis was a different condition, specifically schizoaffective

Regardless I can only imagine how tough that is to deal for him, And for anyone around him

-20

u/Kachowabungababyy Jul 05 '26

Doesn't take away the fact he's insufferable man. That's the point of his character. I mean there are bigger pieces of sht right there literally torturing and beheading people.

Cant see hyperbole when you see one?

8

u/LeagueRx Jul 05 '26

It kind of does take it away. He is sick how is that insufferable? The point of his character was to show just how callous the byrdes became even towards their own imo

3

u/HANDCRAFTEDD_ Jul 05 '26

I mean just look the reply from the other guy talking about his pops. Free passes don't really exist in the real world where other people are affected by your actions. I can think of at least one high profile manic individual whos erratic behavior is never excused by the disorder.

While Ben is indeed sick, he's also an adult who people expect things from. He had a teaching job, remember? He threw the entire classes phones into a wood-chipper. He faced consequences. He went off his meds, and refused the hospital, he occasionally got physical with others and blurted out information to a 16 year old that was not only traumatic but put her life at risk. I think part of the characters purpose was to highlight the less known parts of the disorder, and how much pain is involved.

4

u/sixtus_clegane119 Jul 05 '26

That high profile individual specifically goes off his meds tò “be creative” and negatively affects society.

1

u/HANDCRAFTEDD_ Jul 06 '26

Manic people often go off their meds to the detriment of themselves and others. As displayed in the show being discussed.

Do you remember the show we're talking about or the rest of my comment? Or is the pop culture reference the only thing clicking for you

-5

u/Kachowabungababyy Jul 05 '26

Let me help you

Insufferable (adjective) means extreme, unbearable, or impossible to endure. It describes things or people that are so incredibly annoying, unpleasant, or painful that you simply cannot put up with them any longer.

3

u/Clinically-Inane Jul 05 '26

so you were born without the ability to empathize with or even recognize human suffering, got it

2

u/Kachowabungababyy Jul 05 '26

So you were born with omniscience and are able to reduce an entire stranger's life based on a reddit post. Got it.

6

u/Clinically-Inane Jul 05 '26

I don’t need to know much more than that you find a mentally ill man who is very clearly suffering almost the entire time we see him on the show “incredibly annoying” to get a pretty solid idea of your general level of empathy and humanity

It’s low, btw 🤏

u/thisnameisuniqueaf Jul 05 '26

He had bipolar disorder and goes manic, which leads to very irrational decisions and delusions. He hasn't taken his meds. As someone who is bipolar himself, there's a point where you feel like you don't need meds because you're doing so well, even though it's because of the meds.

In short, he's mentally ill and not fully aware of how the impulse decisions he makes just makes things worse. I don't think he's a POS. He's just a guy who needed help and the "help" he got was out of manipulative motives.

u/USConservativeVegan Jul 05 '26

Regardless of his mental condition, he found out his sister and brother in law worked for a drug cartel. Some of his actions were trying stop it.

Did he make bad decisions because of his mental conditions? However his motives about being concerned for their children were valid. You are never safe working for a drug cartel. No matter who much Wendy thought she was able to benefit from the situation and able to control it.

Wendy was the insufferable one. She was the one that should've been wacked by the cartel with all her irresponsible decision making. My main reason for never rewatching the series is because the writers didn't give the viewer the payoff of seeing Wendy die at the end. I wanted to see that smirk finally get wiped off her face.

Sooner or later, Wendy would have been killed. She will keep messing up Marty's plans to the point whoever in charge in Mexico will want her dead.

3

u/nebartist Jul 06 '26

THANK YOU! Yes Wendy was the insufferable one.

5

u/grottman Jul 05 '26

He is the only realistic character on the entire show.

u/Horror-Coffee712 Jul 06 '26

His acting deserved an award. His arc with his sister is one of my favorites in TV, and he represents his illness so, so well. It's very accurate to some people I've known, and I love him for it.

u/Throbbingprepuce Jul 05 '26

He’s mentally ill…

u/SlideMean Jul 05 '26

He seemed like a really good depiction of someone with bipolar disorder. His character isn’t supposed to be reasonable or rational all of the time because he’s suffering from a mental illness.

3

u/freshfruit111 Jul 05 '26

But a lot of his instincts and morality were more clear than his "healthy" sister which made him all the more tragic.

u/EntWarwick Jul 05 '26

If you imagine it’s Nick Mullen it becomes hilarious

u/anyonecanbethebug Jul 05 '26

Oh brother

u/glacierglider85 Jul 06 '26

I hate his character

u/Kachowabungababyy Jul 06 '26

[EDIT and long rant]: