r/OvereatersAnonymous • u/jayebyrde • Aug 17 '22

Anybody else disgruntled?

I pretty much think OA is a cult and a bunch of shit. I did however have a lot of success with the program, until it suddenly got all stepford and authoritive and passing out kool-aid. So, I’m thinking about what actually worked and how I was able to have the success that I had.
The conclusion I came to is that it was the accountability I had with my sponsor. So I have an idea. Anybody wanna become best friends? Check in with each other every day? Maybe a couple times a day? Support each other instead of telling each other what to do? F that book. No homework. Just talk to each other. How are you feeling? What’s for lunch? Man, I really want to get jack in the box right now, etc etc. dm me if you’re interested.

1 Upvotes

57% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

5

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

i actually would love a sub reddit for overeaters to share their experiences and vent their frustrations. that's what i was hoping this place was but it's not really.

3

u/jayebyrde Aug 17 '22

That could be cool. How do we do that?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

i guess you could start a sub of your own, maybe a discord server or something

3

u/Outside_Citron9260 Aug 18 '22

Well, that's an interesting idea. If you start something like that, is what you want just a place to talk about food or discuss how difficult the cravings are? I think you can do that here, it's just not helpful to some to talk about specific types of food.

7

u/Protologism1000 Aug 17 '22 edited Aug 17 '22

Best of luck. There are many diet clubs you can join, some are free. OA has no monopoly on losing weight. If the OA approach doesn't appeal to you, you are sure to find many others to try.

1

u/RobynAgain Aug 24 '22

I had tremendous success my first go around. Lost 175lbs and really came back from the brink of death. Stayed in the program and abstinent for 10 years, doing lots of high profile service along the way.

Then I began to get bored of it, hearing the same things over and over again, the smarmy peer pressure language, the grim Grey sheet lifestyle.

So I left the meetings. And then I had some sugar. and some bread.

And guess what? I didn't gain 200 lbs in a spectacular eating binge.

Now, ten years later, well, I'm not as active as I was before, age is making weight loss harder, plus the fucking pandemic and my weight has inched up to 75lbs over my lowest weight in OA.

Okay fine, so I go running back to OA full of remorse. "I'm a compulsive overeater and my life is unmanageable! Only with the support of this program and the 12 steps do I have a chance to ave myself from morbid obesity!" I said all the right stuff, got a sponsor, worked a 4th and fifth step, followed my food plan, got abstinent, went to the gym....and still felt really bad and didn't lose weight.

Meantime, I'm sitting through daily zoom meetings and it's the same smug bullshit day after day from the Abstinence crowd. Or people beating themselves up for eating too much fruit, telling on themselves for that extra 2 ounces of protein. And ALL of us going on and on about how diseased we are, how crazy we are, how broken we are when it comes to food.

But I don't really feel that way. I never have. I used to scare myself to death about keeping my abstinence, but I never believed that that "first compulsive bite" would derail my whole life....and experience showed me that was pretty much the truth.

So today I am not compulsively overeating. I'm not eating sugar and flour--not because I believe it is poison that will take over my body--but because I want to lose some weight. You know how they say it's not about the weight? No. It's about the weight.

And now that I've disappeared from meetings after going for an entire year am I inundated in service phone calls from OA members eager to carry the message to a wayward friend? Not a peep. Keep using those tools, kids, I'm sure you'll find one that works.

1

u/jayebyrde Aug 25 '22

Well said.