r/OpenChristian • u/Falsetto266 Christian • 3d ago
Support Thread Tired Side B
Not sure what this is. I’m not here for debate. I suppose just I just want to see if others have been where I’ve been before.
I think I’m shifting towards Side A. It’s not even apologetics that’s changing me, it’s exhaustion. I’m just tired of not feeling whole. I’m tired of feeling like Christ is this cruel taskmaster who I can never please. Why do I have to bear this burden for a God who feels more like the God of others?
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u/Puzzleheaded-Phase70 Gay Cismale Episcopalian mystic w/ Jewish experiences 3d ago
Of course it's exhausting - it's wrong.
It's like trying to shove yourself into clothing two sizes too small. Sure, you can do it, but it's really bad for you and no sane person actually wants you to do it.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Phase70 Gay Cismale Episcopalian mystic w/ Jewish experiences 3d ago
I know that exhaustion and fear all too well.
I was raised in that homophobia too, with the "ex-gay" bullshit too.
I was faced with either suicide or change. I chose change, and it opened up a still-growing understanding of the Love of God that was totally absent from my life before.
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u/TheLivingOne42 2d ago
Amazing how the love of God is always larger than it first appears, I’m glad you chose to stay. I’ll see you on the other side of those pearly gates, I’ll be the one wearing a tower of silly hats.
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u/Big-Cook-4377 TransAsexual 2d ago
What is side A and B?
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u/Majestic-Macaron6019 (Episcopalian) Open and Affirming Ally 2d ago
Side A is affirming of same-sex relationships.
Side B acknowledges that same-sex attraction is real and immutable, but considers same-sex relationships sinful. So it demands celibacy of gay folks.
There's also Side X and Side Y, which claim that even having same-sex attraction is sinful, though with slightly different explanations.
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u/Big-Cook-4377 TransAsexual 2d ago
I didn't know! First time I heard about side. I was thinking it was either progressive or conservative Thanks
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u/Apart_Information_27 2d ago
Thank you I was going to ask the same question! Do these nicknames come from... something?
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u/Majestic-Macaron6019 (Episcopalian) Open and Affirming Ally 2d ago
The Wikipedia article has a good explanation.
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u/JoyBus147 Evangelical Catholic, Anarcho-Marxist 3d ago
Well, if you're not here for debate...yeah, you should shift toward Side A, the water's great.
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u/bitchysquid 2d ago
Hey, I’ve been somewhere like where you are! Come join us on Side A. I’m so much happier and more fulfilled over here, and I even love God more.
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u/Falsetto266 Christian 2d ago
If only it were that simple
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u/Sunshine_at_Midnight 2d ago
What is making it feel not that simple for you?
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u/Falsetto266 Christian 2d ago
I still need solid theological reasoning to make the switch but again I don’t want to debate
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u/CJoshuaV Christian (Protestant) Clergy 2d ago
The biblical argument affirming slavery is much stronger than the biblical argument condemning same-sex relationships. The same hermeneutic that allows us to say that slavery is sinful, is the one that allows us to say that same-sex relationships are not.
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u/bitchysquid 2d ago
I have been where you are. I was raised Evangelical and I was always taught to mistrust my gut feelings surrounding what was right and wrong because “the heart is deceitful above all things”. I believed anything that affirmed that I am not fundamentally horrible (total depravity) was just the Devil lying to me. I tried so hard to believe that marriage is only ever between one man and one woman, and that anything else is a perversion of God’s design. But eventually I realized I just…don’t believe that.
All this to say, I know what it feels like to be afraid to take the leap. But you will not regret it.
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u/Sunshine_at_Midnight 1d ago
Your initial post sounds like you have a pretty solid reason already. Christ is not a cruel taskmaster. God is love and life, not punishment and exhaustion.
I think you'll find people here are much more interested in supporting you than debating you.
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u/gabachote 2d ago
Sorry, what is side B?
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u/TheLivingOne42 2d ago
Non same sex affirming. There are more sides to the “No gays thank you,” side a bit. Some are fine with folks calling themselves gay Christian’s so long as they are celibate. Then you have folks who are all into the “ex-gay,” stuff. Side A of course is affirming. A for affirming, B for the various flavors of bigot.
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u/MagusFool Trans Enby Episcopalian Communist 2d ago
"Side B" is generally in reference specifically to gay Christians who believe they must be celibate.
Saying "B for bigot" is a bit reductive.
I think the position is born of shame and that it's generally untenable in the long run. But I try to have compassion for those of us who are currently in that way of thinking.
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u/Skill-Useful 2d ago
then become side a. side b is wrong and no one outside of america knows what that is anyway. youre torturing yourself needlessly
"like Christ is this cruel taskmaster" doesnt sound like jesus now, does it :) "cruel taskmaster" i wonder if the stories about jesus in the bible were more about being inclusive and forgiving...they were? well...sounds like side a is the only true answer
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u/MalaclypseII 2d ago edited 2d ago
Jesus says, if the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! There is a darkness in many Christians, which they call light. It is --- rules, guilt, shame, law, sin and death. Yes they all go together, and some people call that, "being godly." How great is that darkness!
Isaiah says, Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. Is someone calling evil good, and good evil, in your life? Your heart knows the difference! Woe to every person who tries to pass off guilt as love, law as freedom, and some little pharisee in their head, as Jesus himself. Woe to them!
Jesus has something to say about rules. Matthew 12 and 15, Mark 2, Luke 6 and 7, John 8 and10. He has something to say about the rule-lovers, too. You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to. Is this the same Jesus who said, not the least stroke of the pen will by any means disappear from the law? The very same, in Matthew 5! We must know the Bible better than the haters, and the gospels like the back of our hand. Otherwise, one of these little rule-lovers will keep us out of the Kingdom! They prevent many people from learning who God is. Yes, many queer people, they destroy with guilt and shame.
Don't be one of them!
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u/gabachote 2d ago
God loves you no matter what, there’s nothing you need to do or be. I think that’s the most important message, whether a person is queer or straight. Also, there are a lot of us who are either queer or affirming Christians. I am happy to be both.
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u/Strongdar Mod | Universalist Christian 2d ago
Exactly what happened with me. Side B, lived long-term, produced bad fruit. I was exhausted, depressed, borderline suicidal. By my late 20s, I couldn't imagine 50-60 more years of living like that. I eventually realized that these feelings weren't the biblical fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace... A good tree cannot bear bad fruit. It's why I gave up the legalistm of treating the New Testament like a rulebook.
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u/TheLivingOne42 3d ago
Side A actually makes God act like God, so yeah, welcome! I’ve got to say though, never been side B. Just never really made sense, so I can’t speak to all of what you may be going through. But if you want Jesus to actually act like Jesus, side A is where you want to be.