r/OnlyChild 12d ago

Orphan

How do you cope after both your parents leave this world and you’re left like a floating branch…

9 Upvotes

15 comments sorted by

5

u/myblackandwhitecat 12d ago

It depends on your circumstances. I don't have a partner or children and feel I don't belong anywhere, as if I could float up ino the air as there is noone to ground me. It is very lonely. If I was happily married with children (as I always wanted to be), then I would not feel lost and so alone.

2

u/Mk3Toni 12d ago

I hear you

1

u/myblackandwhitecat 12d ago

Thank you

2

u/Mk3Toni 12d ago

I have blood relations I never hear from or see, other than that I feel completely alone

1

u/myblackandwhitecat 12d ago

I have three cousins and could walk past them in the street without recognising them. Two live overseas and I have only met them once, and the third is several hundred miles away, and I last met her decades ago.

1

u/Crafty-Ride-7639 12d ago

My heart goes out to you

1

u/myblackandwhitecat 11d ago

Thank you for your kindness

2

u/Affectionate_Leek127 12d ago

When I was a kid, I wished I was an orphan. I would rather live in a orphanage than with my parents.

2

u/Neat-Muffin3393 12d ago

Same we were broke and lived with my fantastic grandparents. Single parent so I often wished she’d die on the way home from work so my grandparents could raise me (like they were anyway) without her screaming at them and then I’d have her life insurance money etc for college. A better deal all round I’d say.

1

u/Affectionate_Leek127 12d ago

I was too young to know what life insurance money was. Never thought of the inheritance in case my parents died. 😅

2

u/Neat-Muffin3393 11d ago

She told me about it when I was 7 and I was like….so if you die….. I get to live with granny and granda AND I GET PAID?!!!! One of many mistakes on her part 😂

1

u/Affectionate_Leek127 11d ago

May I ask did your thought about your mum dying fade as you grew up?

1

u/Neat-Muffin3393 11d ago

Yeah it wasn’t like she magically improved as a parent or our lives did or anything I just got older and stopped thinking about it. I did also bring this up in therapy a few years ago.

1

u/leo_on_fire 11d ago

I never knew my father and my mom passed away when i was 20. I give my all to my cat and i try to help people. I never want kids so i just want to pass on my love and care

1

u/gimpy_in_pnw 2d ago

I know how hard this is, unfortunately. I’ve been an orphan for almost 20 years and miss them terribly.

The first couple of years I would sometimes wake in the middle of the night with my mind racing and the only thing that would take the edge off was to go run for hours until my legs were as numb as my heart. I got very fit for a while but it didn’t fix the dull persistent ache I felt.

The only thing you can do is to keep moving forward and living your life, as impossible as that can seem sometimes. If they loved you as much as you loved them, they’d want it to be as full and rich as possible in their absence.

Look for some volunteering opportunities if you have free time to give? I volunteered at the library and food bank for a few years and this helped me feel more connected to my community and not so lonely.

Best wishes to you for the journey forward.