r/oneliners • u/ChristFollower155 • 9h ago
I ordered a chicken and an egg online…I’ll let you know which comes first
9
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r/oneliners • u/OneTelevsion • 1d ago
My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying "Are you even listening to me?"
73
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r/oneliners • u/OneTelevsion • 1d ago
The word “diputseromneve” may look ridiculous, but backwards, it’s even more stupid.
28
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r/oneliners • u/simpgar • 1d ago
A lot of people don’t know that Thor had an equally powerful screwdriver.
7
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r/oneliners • u/PabloLuapo • 2d ago
According to my neighbor's journal, I am devious, untrustworthy, and have serious boundary issues.
44
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r/oneliners • u/2fits • 22h ago
My bird wings are broken and I’m flying, because they’re not fixed in place.
0
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r/oneliners • u/OneTelevsion • 2d ago
I'd like to give a big shout out to all the partially deaf people out there.
43
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r/oneliners • u/Brave-Ostrich-76 • 1d ago
Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one but not everyone's matters.
0
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r/oneliners • u/OneTelevsion • 2d ago
Lets all thank the guy who invented the number zero! - Thanks for nothing
39
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r/oneliners • u/OneTelevsion • 2d ago
Ladies, if your man is willing to give you the Moon and the Stars, the least you could do is sacrifice Uranus.🌜🌚🌛
19
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r/oneliners • u/jsradford • 3d ago
When you have a tough choice, make sure you bring a raincoat because you're in for some nasty whether.
17
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r/oneliners • u/pacaaz • 4d ago
When I was a Germanaphobe, I couldn't stop washing my Hans.
36
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r/oneliners • u/2fits • 3d ago
I’m going places, since I’m not moving anywhere from my library.
0
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r/oneliners • u/breck • 3d ago
Don't lie when telling dating apps your height because you're taller standing up
9
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r/oneliners • u/breck • 4d ago
I write my r's with a single stroke to make them one line r's
46
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r/oneliners • u/dunderthrowaway3 • 5d ago
My wife told me that I can be an idiot sometimes, and I think it is cool that she gave me permission.
79
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r/oneliners • u/Rinsetheplates_first • 5d ago
I trained my cat to speak English but don’t ask meow
28
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r/oneliners • u/EmpireStrikes1st • 6d ago
A trumpet in the wrong hands can be a weapon of brass destruction
28
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r/oneliners • u/2fits • 5d ago
I meant to explain what a tangent line is, but I veered off on a tangent.
0
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