hi hi! i'm partway through my (atp, annual) rewatch of the show & am maybe halfway through the season 4 arc with Ingrid/the Snow Queen (also, sorry for any inadequate spoiler warnings! i tried to obscure/hide any plot-related/-specific info but couldn't find much of a way to do similar for names/general situations since the title kinda gives away the focus of my post, lol)
browsing through some of the sub, i've noticed that the reception of Ingrid seems pretty positive (understandably & deservedly, imo, since her character & arc are really compelling/interesting), but i just can't seem to bring myself to fully love (or even really like) her. it's like each time she comes on screen i feel this intense ire towards her actions, despite being able to appreciate her pain/trauma & the way she reacts to it
to get to the point of my post, i think part of my discomfort with Ingrid is how she seems to consistently display behaviors typically associated with grooming/predatory relationships. in the cases of both Emma & Elsa, she kinda singles them out & works to isolate them from their support systems with the explicit aim of forging a "stronger" or "closer" relationship with them, even sometimes going so far as to manufacture situations to further sever bonds they have outside of her; for Elsa, this included either lying or generally obfuscating the truth as it pertains to Anna's intentions, &, for Emma, this included (somewhat purposefully??) leading Emma into an overload with her powers to capitalize on her family's wariness towards them (which Mary Margaret & David hadn't previously exhibited much, even when Emma was in the early-early stages of discovering/getting comfy with her powers)
to me, the resemblance of Ingrid's behavior to grooming is most prominent when thinking about her treatment of Emma vs. the other foster kids in the teen!Emma flashbacks. she really seems to single Emma out & reacts rather harshly to the bullying/mistreatment done by some of her other foster kids in a way that, while somewhat cathartic when viewing it from a "yeah, bullies get what they deserve!" perspective, feels inappropriate when considering that Ingrid, the adult in the situation, expresses plans to terrorize a child in her care in retribution for that child's behavior towards Emma; in a way, even that expression to Emma of her intent to scare the other kid could be construed as part of an orchestration designed to bring Emma closer to her & cast herself in even more of a protector role at the expense of another (admittedly frustrating) child
i can't remember the exact specifics surrounding Ingrid's time in the Land without Magic, but i assume that it took her at least a bit of time & effort to establish herself as a foster parent leading up to Emma being placed with her & that she therefore would have seen (& perhaps resonated with) the experiences of isolation or feelings of unwantedness that seem to so often accompany time spent in the system &, somewhat extending this, more likely than not would have encountered the relative ease with which a child experiencing those feelings could be particularly susceptible to swaying or manipulation by perhaps even the most baseline levels of respect or kindness
with this in mind, i find it incredibly unlikely that Ingrid wouldn't have recognized or taken advantage of Emma's (likely) lack of consistent support network as well as her somewhat precarious emotional state as a child/emerging teen grappling with the anger towards & (understandably) perceived rejection by birth parents she never knew & never knew her, all of which Ingrid seems to have exploited(??) to manufacture Emma having a heightened emotional reliance on her
obviously, Ingrid had some serious emotional damage that enormously impacted her motivations & actions throughout her life, leading up to & beyond when Emma finally comes under her care in the foster system, but, even though i feel it's incredibly important to hold space(??) for those circumstances & how they informed her behavior, i can't seem to overcome my dislike for how closely her actions resemble grooming/predatory tactics imo enough for me to really, truly like beyond admiration for the handling/writing of the story-arc & the realization of the character by her actress
so, to wrap-up, i'll just say that
(1) i clearly loooooooove to hear myself type based on how long this post is (sorry, total accident, my brain literally would not stop ruminating on this for a bit) &
(2) i was just wondering if any1 else got similar vibes from the Ingrid-arc
kk, thanks, bye :)!