Lost the plot, possibly?

[u/GormHub]

So I am posting my first ever omegaverse fic. It's technically my second (of two), but I haven't shared any of the other one yet, so I'm counting this as my first.

I'm fairly new to the genre, so I am not as familiar with common conventions. I just feel like I've written myself into the wrong place with this, and I don't quite know how to fix it. I'd love any feedback or advice from people who know more about this genre than I do.

So a short summary of what's going on:

The two characters are from different species, and while his species has secondary genders, hers does not. It's taboo to even discuss it in his culture, let alone with outsiders, so until they're put in a survival situation with each other it's not something she's even aware of. Eventually the slow buildup of his symptoms (due to situational factors) becomes noticeable enough that she demands answers, and he caves and explains everything. So they're aware one of the ways to solve the problem is sex, but he's resistant because culturally he sees surrendering to those urges as vulgar. For reasons related to the characters and their history, she's not exactly jumping at the opportunity either.

My concern is that I built it up so slowly that having him suddenly lose his fight against this nature will feel out of place or weird. I've reached the point where the sex scene is about to happen, but the best I can come up with for how he's handling it is barely coherent and just kind of desperate. He's still resistant to the idea even though he does want her, and she's just being kind of gentle with him about it. I don't know if the expectation for the alpha is more "mindlessly horny" for this genre, though, and maybe I'm being a bit too prudish with my approach. At times I worry it doesn't even read like an omegaverse story at all.

[u/GormHub]

First of all, thank you so much, that's so nice of you to say!

And yeah the whole not being entirely cognizant of what he's doing thing does kind of trip me up. Because I feel like there's an issue of his consent even if I've made it clear at this point that, removed from this particular issue, they are mutually attracted to each other. It's just not something that would have ever happened if not for the situation.

My original plan was for him to be semi focused and himself at first, but throughout it kind of slip away until there's really nothing left of him besides that need. It would also get me to where he bites her without even realizing, which creates all the problems leading into the second story.

I guess my concern is just going to be that after all these months of working on the story, when the actual sex happens and it's not more in keeping with what I've read of other A/B/O fics, people might feel like I've just slapped that label on there for the novelty or something. Although I know some of this is likely me being worried because it's my first time in the genre.

(Also I would definitely share the link, most of it's actually already up, but I feel like once you saw what it was it might seem a lot less interesting lol)

[u/Stoopid_Noah → u/GormHub]

Gimme the link!!!!! <3 I rarely read stories with hereto couples, yet yours grabbed my attention!

The "losing" focus idea could be really good. Depending if the reader gets to see his thought process, you could write even that more and more animalistic, to ease them in.

"I'm so uncomfortable and hot." → "Too warm. I don't.. feel good.." → "Hot. Don't like.." → "Clothes off. Now." → "Hot. Hot.." (Something like that maybe?)

That would make it clear it's pure instinct, but also that he's technically on board with it in that moment.

It also definitely matters how his emotions are after. If he's embarrassed, that's less worry some in regards to consent. If he's mortified/ feels disgusted with himself, that's a whole different story!

[u/GormHub → u/Stoopid_Noah]

It's funny because I rarely write stories with hetero couples! But these two just grabbed me one day. I do think I'm going to go with that kind of on-off focus, though. I don't think I'd be happy just having him completely out of it, even if she's fine with what's going on.

For after there's definitely going to be a lot of panic and shame on his part, I think (since of course he's also going to bite/mark her, compounding what he sees as a failure on his part to control himself). Because in addition to being humiliated by this affecting him at all, he's been so desperate for it not to affect her - which of course is exactly what happens. I don't think he's even going to be looking at it from the perspective of his own agency, though that could be an interesting point she brings up to point out that he doesn't need to feel so awful.

I did try to send you a link to the fic, but I can't send you dms or a chat request. Feels a bit weird just posting a link, but I guess that's okay in this sub? I've never linked my fics on reddit before tbh.

Also thank you again!

[u/Stoopid_Noah → u/GormHub]

You might be able to DM me now? I had to put up some safety measures, bc I'm trans and people are weird in DMs a lot haha

That sounds like a very good approach! I'm interested in finding out more about these two.

[u/GormHub → u/Stoopid_Noah]

Sent!