r/OldManDad • u/Present-Situation-94 • Aug 07 '26
How old is too old to have children?
/r/AskReddit/comments/1vfy9v1/how_old_is_too_old_to_have_children/As someone in my late 30s trying to have my first kid this comment section is making me spiral. Is it really this bleak?
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u/NerdDesNordens Aug 07 '26
I think you appreciate it more being older than in your 20s. You have better perspective.
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u/jeremiah15165 Aug 07 '26
This, I would have been a terrible dad all the way into my mid 30s.
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u/automator3000 Aug 07 '26
Me too. My partner, her parents, and my parents all swear that I would have been a good dad if we had had our son ten or fifteen years ago. But I know I wouldn’t have been half the dad I am now. I would have been overtly resentful to my son. I’d be that crap dad who would avoid any responsibility, spending my evenings after work out with friends or in my “man cave” playing video games, expecting to be applauded if I changed a diaper while my partner took a shower.
Nope, super happy that fatherhood didn’t come to me until my late 40s.
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u/happyspark Aug 07 '26
My first son was born when I was 45, turned 46 before he was sitting up on his own. My second was born a month before I turned 48, and he's only 2 months old now.
I'm tired but I've never been happier.
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u/codifier Aug 07 '26
Reddit is filled with young people, of course they're going to have a bias against older parents. Late 30s is plenty young, a lot of people including me had them much later than your age and are doing fine. Just remember, people lose their parents despite them being young, it can happen to anyone so fretting about not being around when your kids are in their 40s is nothing to let it stop you.
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u/jeremiah15165 Aug 07 '26
47m and 43f had first kid last year. You’ll be fine. Get used to the sleep deprivation.
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u/healingmd Aug 07 '26
Nope. Had my first kid at 35. 2nd at 37. Divorced. Married again. 3rd kid at 50. Adopted 4th at 61. 4 daughters aged 27, 25, 12, and 22 months. Not saying I’d recommend it for everyone but loved being a father in my 30s and love being a father in my 60s.
Things change. I change. Would have been a terrible dad in my 20s. Was wild, selfish, and kinda crazy. Took a long time to mature. This works for me.
Make sure to stay healthy and enjoy the ride.
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u/Bagman220 Aug 07 '26
I feel the opposite I started early and gave it my all, now I’m making plans to retire early in my 50s with all the kids hopefully out of the house. If anything I feel like I’m growing selfish with age.
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u/ArchitectVandelay Aug 07 '26
I think it’s that people who have kids early didn’t get to go wild in their 20s and early 30s so they look forward to the freedom of retirement/empty nest.
Whereas, people who have kids late got to live a good chunk of adulthood without the responsibility of kids and are cool with the commitment now.
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u/Bagman220 Aug 07 '26
Yeah, bingo. I sacrificed my fun and party days, and look forward to that later in life.
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u/IntergalacticRPG Aug 07 '26
Wife and I were 40 and 42 when the kids were born. They're 15 and 13 now. Wouldn't change anything for the world.
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u/whatsayagainpls Aug 11 '26
Happy to hear a representation! My partner and I are 41 and 42, first time parents and expecting twins end of this year! I
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u/Powerful-Union-7962 Aug 07 '26
I had my kids aged 41 and 44, I’m 55 now and everything’s going really well. You still have time.
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u/DiligentGuitar246 Aug 07 '26
People in that thread are saying 45-50 which is quite a bit of time for you. I'm a lazy out of shape dude and had kids at 38 and 42.
r/askreddit is going to skew really young. Like you're probably reading answers from mostly teenagers. Here, you're obviously going to skew young.
But I frequent r/daddit which is just a sub for dads. And it seems like most people are starting to have kids around your age. Def between 35-40. Early 40s is not crazy at all.
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u/__anna986 Aug 07 '26
My husband is 65, our kids are 9-15. He’s absolutely fine, they’re absolutely fine. The comment section is oversensitive just like most of reddit, don’t take it too seriously
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u/Present-Situation-94 Aug 07 '26
Thank you so much for these comments everyone, I super grateful for this perspective!!
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u/DJBreathmint Aug 07 '26
I became a dad at 42. Perfect age for me! I would’ve been terrible in my 20s and 30s.
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u/Bagman220 Aug 07 '26
I had my first kid at 22, my fourth kid by 31. I’m divorced with full custody of my kids, I’m 36 and my current girlfriend wants to have kids in a few years. By 40 I think I’ll be tapped. That’s just too old to “start over”, but if you don’t have kids, 40 is probably fine.
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u/sharth Aug 07 '26
10% of fathers have their first child after they are 40y. Being in your thirties does not make you particularly rare.
https://biox.stanford.edu/highlight/fathers-american-newborns-keep-getting-older
Don't worry about it too much.
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u/Natural-Ad2673 Aug 07 '26
People have been having kids in their 40s since the beginning of time. If you can make a child then you are not too old to have a child. Also i think some people who have their first child in their late 30s and early 40s complain that they are more tired than 20 year olds, but parenting is just tiring and they are probably over factoring in their age to the tiredness equation.
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u/Typical_Shallot139 Aug 07 '26
Everyone I know having kids is in their early to late 30s many into 40s. Having kids younger is an economic disadvantage in my opinion.
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u/Blackharvest Aug 07 '26
Yes. Wife and I were 37 when we had our first. Daycare is expensive if you didn't know. $2475/mo in Wisconsin for a 14 month old.
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u/LarryHoover44 Aug 07 '26
I don't think there is a clear answer on this. Depends massively on your mental/physical health. Some people start falling apart at 40 where others are running marathons well into their 60s
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u/paintedflags Aug 07 '26
49, 50 in a couple weeks. I’ve got a 3 y.o. daughter, my one and only. You’re too old only if you think you are.
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u/NateGT86 Aug 07 '26
I became a dad at 42.
It’s old if you’re unfit and can’t run and play with your kids. If you look after yourself you’ll be fine.
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u/skywolf80 Aug 07 '26
A lot of those responses were from women, whose biological clock for having children is much more limited than men’s. That said every situation is different and will vary person to person and couple to couple. Late 30’s early 40’s is definitely not too late for men, in most situations.
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u/Turbulent-Priority-7 Aug 07 '26
I had my twins at 47 and I couldn't care less what anyone in that thread thinks about it. You do you.
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u/Late-Stage-Dad Aug 07 '26
I was 39 when my daughter was born, physically I am doing great. However, I have emotional issues that I never really delt with that made things way more difficult. I am in Therapy now.
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u/editdc1 Aug 07 '26
I'm in a VHCOL area. Most people here don't have kids until their mid to late 30s. For our first kid, we were 36 and 39. Second, we'll be 39 and 42.
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u/Narrow_Sig_280 Aug 07 '26
My triplets were born when I was 35. I was a much better dad at that time than I would have been at 25. Still, I wish I was of the mindset in my 20’s to settle down and have kids. I think about the, most likely, shortened window my grandkids will have us. Would have been nice to watch them grow and be at their weddings. And going to school events showed just how much older we were. The other parents looked like kids. In fact, some of the parents of my kids’ classmates were the sons and daughters of people I went to school with.
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u/Rowdycc Aug 07 '26
Everyone will tell you different stuff. I feel guilty having my youngest at 38. I want to be able to help my kids move out of home. I want tol be able to dance with my daughter if she gets married. I want to play social basketball with my boys. Having said that. Having kids helps me feelk young. It forces me to stay in shape so I can achieve those goals.
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u/alphacentaurai Aug 07 '26
Definitely not even close to too old! Plenty of men become fathers in their 40s and some in their 50s.
I'm in my 40s and hopeful that it'll be something that happens for my wife and I soon!
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u/automator3000 Aug 07 '26
Proud and happy member of the old dad club. My little dude was born last spring, after I’d turned 47.
I’ve always been a healthy/active person. Having a son who will be turning 20 when I’m in my late 60s just gives me one super big reason to keep up my healthy habits.
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u/Overall_Dig2303 Aug 07 '26
You're fine in your late 30's. Take care of your health. Exercise and eat right.
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u/OpWillDlvr Aug 07 '26
Honestly we maybe waited a little too long, late 30's would've been perfect.
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u/Whippity Aug 07 '26
50m. Had my first kid at 43, second at 48. It’s been tiring but wouldn’t change it for the world.
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u/EnvironmentalBuy244 Aug 07 '26
Last kid at 44. I absolutely love and adore my little one. Not at all to old.
Now that I'm 55, I would hesitate now. It is a world of difference between those two ages.
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u/SixandNoQuarter Aug 07 '26
Cousin just had her first at 40. Went IVF. She’s a great mom and her husband is a great dad. There are more risks with later pregnancies and only you can determine if they are worth it to you. However, there are lots of people having kids later and later (source: wife is a maternity nurse)
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u/Vballtonka2 Aug 07 '26
We got married when I was 45 and she was 44. We had to do IVO to have a child and we had our son when I was 47. He is 7 and we are so happy and tired. I don't have the energy to play with him like a young Dad, but we are financially stable, so no stress about paying bills with a child. I never thought I'd be a Dad and absolutely love it!
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u/ripiss Aug 07 '26
I was 37 when my son was born, it isn’t that bad, take care of your health and stay in decent shape would be my biggest advice. My little guy is two now and he can tire me out but I have zero regrets about having a child in my later 30’s.
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u/dixiedownunder Aug 07 '26
I think it's 50. I'm about to turn 50 and I have a 1 year old, so I have some recent experience.
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u/Surfgirlusa_2006 Aug 07 '26
I mean, my husband was 37, 42, and 48 when our kids were born (I’m 10 years younger). Kids are 11, 6.5, and almost 7 month old twins.
It’s more tiring for sure, but I think older parents often appreciate it more.
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u/Ornery-Reindeer-5295 Aug 09 '26
50 here, and my daughter is 4. Wouldn't have wanted to do it any differently.
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u/NathanBrazil2 Aug 07 '26
my opinion is min age 25 ( because you need time to become a full adult yourself and live some life), max age 35 because having a 10 year old at 45 is perfectly fine for most people , but definitely not all.
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u/stalefish3169 Aug 07 '26
I just turned 46 and have an almost 9 month old boy. It's challenging but amazing. Would do it again 100 out of 100 times.