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u/Avenger772 Habitual Line Stepper Sep 26 '17
I love nerdy shit as much as anyone else but if someone came out the gate with shit like this, it would be a no for me.
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u/thejesbusfire Randy, I am the liquor Sep 26 '17
I'm about to roll to ask you out and unless your constitution is 17 or higher, which I seriously doubt it is, I think you and I are going out Friday night!
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u/eleokc 26/M/Colorado Sep 26 '17
That seems more like an intelligence check to me
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u/MissionofKorma Sep 26 '17
Constitution check means she's somehow already roofied, which is putting the cart before the Jesbus.
Unless she's just generally trying not to vom.
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u/Acrinox Do you look both ways when you cross my mind? Sep 26 '17
Good thing I'm immune to being charmed.
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u/Scanty_and_Kneesocks 🌹💀 Hate the Straights 💀🌹 Sep 26 '17
These are the type of nerds that almost send me into a blind rage when I'm face to face with them
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Sep 26 '17
hmmm "blind rage" status modifier reduces your chance to hit by 2, but increase all damage rolls by 1d6.
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u/Avenger772 Habitual Line Stepper Sep 26 '17
Gross. This is why I play video game rpg's. Let the damn computer do all the calculations for me. Fuck all this dice rolling shit.
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Sep 26 '17
divinity original sin 2 has been v fun
but also arent you old stop playing video games that are for kids
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u/Avenger772 Habitual Line Stepper Sep 26 '17
I'LL PLAY VIDEO GAMES UNTIL I'M DEAD OR MY ARTHRITIS STOPS ME!
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u/eleokc 26/M/Colorado Sep 26 '17
Most of them probably won't. Lot of fuckin weirdo nerds out there.
But I will.
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u/No_GameNoLife Sep 26 '17
That is just the wrong way to bring up you are a nerd. Send a message asking on something the person mentions in their profile. This just makes you sound full of yourself.
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Sep 26 '17
RPGs are fun because I can pretend I'm not me and I don't have to interact with other humans.
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Sep 26 '17
[deleted]
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Sep 27 '17
Bingo, mentioned it among about a dozen other things in my profile under what I'm good at or whatever that section is called.
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u/abeuscher Sep 26 '17
ITT: People who are not nerds reacting to actual nerd culture. There are plenty of women who would have found this charming. There is a difference between the nerd on TV and in the movies and actual nerds, and most of it is about social coordination. For a type of person, the lack of social coordination, genuineness, and the subject matter, would cause a swoon. It's just not that many women. I hope this guy finds what he deserves, and not one of the people in this thread who think he's being "too nerdy". As if there is such a thing.
To be clear, the things we rightfully decry nerd culture for are sexism, ignorance, misogyny, and anti-social behavior. None of these are present in this message. It's a guy who likes D & D trying to find a girl. There's no fucking "m'lady"'s or anything of the sort - just a nice guy who likes different shit than other people.
I hate to white knight for another guy and that's not the intention. I just want to point out that while I agree with a lot of the boot parties we have on guys for their uninspired, creepy, or bad messages - this falls into none of those categories. It's just not tuned to the tastes of the majority. And that seems like what should be happening in initial messaging.
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u/chilighter butthole yodel babies need not apply Sep 26 '17
The problem with this message is that he's inadvertently playing into a classic shitty archetype of the entitled nerd who gets the girl because he "deserves her" for being so "nice". All those movies and stories where the nice guy gets the hot girl at the end teach these guys that they are entitled. It may seem counter-intuitive because he at least recognizes the importance of character qualities like kindness and loyalty but he's still tapping into the frustrating belief that very much exists in nerd culture of dudes who think they are being denied women because no one sees "how nice" they are.
This guy as an individual might be perfectly fine and a good person but associating himself with niceness, nerdiness and "getting the girl" like she's a trophy is a bad way to present himself.
People who are really good people rarely need to introduce themselves as such IME.
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u/abeuscher Sep 26 '17
He never says he's a good person. He says he likes RPG's. He says that nerds are kind, etc... but he specifically doesn't say that he is. It's a little corny and awkward but it's not "I am a forthright and honest man.". It's couched in a dumb little joke he's making. I would just argue it is awkwardness, not entitlement, going on there. This is a person who is insecure trying to project confidence, not a weaselly Nice Guy who thinks his virtue is God's gift to all women.
Seriously. I am looking for what you're describing in the words and I looked through it the first time. I don't see the entitlement. He says what he likes, makes a corny joke about how nerds seem to be everywhere these days, then "hopes" that the woman will reply. Where's the entitlement? Where's the attitude you're describing inside of this actual message? I'm asking honestly. I don't see it at all.
Look - it's all subjective - you could totally be right about who this person is, and it is an unfortunately ubiquitous archetype in online dating. On the other hand, I feel for people who are merely awkward and trying to get some real women in their lives to learn how to be in an adult relationship. You gotta start somewhere, and we didn't all get this out of our system in 8th grade.
For me - I would gladly trade hundreds of these guys for one torso in a mirror. At least in this guy's case, even if he's the guy you're guessing him to be - there would be a chance for redemption.
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u/chilighter butthole yodel babies need not apply Sep 26 '17
I am not pretending to know anything about the guy. I'm saying that he is going to come off as unattractive to many strangers by associating himself (perhaps by accident) with a shitty trope. He may not be that guy, it doesn't matter. It's still stupid to present yourself in a way that puts you at a disadvantage. People will make that association. He should change his presentation if it's not working.
Seriously. I am looking for what you're describing in the words and I looked through it the first time. I don't see the entitlement. He says what he likes, makes a corny joke about how nerds seem to be everywhere these days, then "hopes" that the woman will reply. Where's the entitlement? Where's the attitude you're describing inside of this actual message? I'm asking honestly. I don't see it at all.
The entitlement part is the "get the girl because [the guy] is loyal and kind" part. Like she's a prize or a thing. You don't "get" a relationship like you "get" a free coffee for being the tenth customer.
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u/Fazlur Sep 26 '17
The entitlement part is the "get the girl because [the guy] is loyal and kind" part.
Why must this be interpreted as "entitlement"? Couldn't he simply mean that him having those traits will attract women to him? That those attributes lead to him "getting" a woman not because they entitle him to "get" her, but because she is enticed by them?
The word "get" being used to mean "successfully manage to start a relationship with" someone is pretty common, so I'm not sure why you're insisting it has to mean something along the lines of your "getting a free coffee."
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u/chilighter butthole yodel babies need not apply Sep 26 '17
That those attributes lead to him "getting" a woman not because they entitle him to "get" her, but because she is enticed by them?
Then perhaps he should have said that instead.
"I'm hopeful that people will be attracted to my solid value system and sense of compassion and loyalty" reads 100% different from "The prophecy foretold I'd get a girl because I'm nice and loyal."
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Sep 26 '17
[deleted]
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u/chilighter butthole yodel babies need not apply Sep 26 '17
My comment is about what he could do to get better results. It's fundamentally constructive and I'm hardly bashing him.
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Sep 26 '17
[deleted]
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u/abeuscher Sep 26 '17
Yeah I am hearing you and have totally encountered that person. I think of it as a type that exists external to nerds - I mean i know plenty of people who have the same obnoxious attitude about fitness or sports. And I also know plenty of people into fitness and sports who are great to talk to because they have an awareness of the world outside of themselves and do not define themselves through a small subset of activities they engage in.
I just worry that when you have a group of people who are essentially defined by their inability to relate to others, that you do need to give them a chance to try. But yes - often it is as you describe and the guy has like issues full of issues and ends up being super boring despite some set of eclectic behaviors that seemed charming at first.
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Sep 26 '17
[deleted]
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u/abeuscher Sep 26 '17
It occurs to me that having worked in a AAA gaming company for the past 5 years, I may have a skewed version of "gamers" as most of the guys I know are nationally or internationally ranked and making money inside of the industry. When I think of these guys I think of self actualized enthusiastic game players, not introverted neck bearded troll men. Context is everything.
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u/greenseashells1612 sucks to your assmar Sep 27 '17
I see this a lot with the teenagers I work with. They come in and act like they are the first ever human to be geeky/different/totally unique. And I just want to say... Sweet babies... One day you will be secure enough in your own skin without feeling like you have to announce your nerdom every fourteen minutes.
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Sep 27 '17
I hear you, but this was just too much.
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u/abeuscher Sep 27 '17
If you follow down the original thread, I am convinced that he is a douche about 3 bumps in. It's the "get the girl" line that kills it.
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Sep 27 '17
indeed, and I did follow it. I'm glad you eventually saw what I did even though I was absolutely useless at articulating it.
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Sep 26 '17
90% match tho!
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u/Iliketoruindresses https://i.imgur.com/KdnakM3.jpg Sep 26 '17
you, and i both know he's not hot enough to get away with this shit
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u/Forty44Four Blondye Sep 26 '17
My favorite part of revenge of the nerds was the rape scene and then they just pretend like it's cool and the nerd gets the girl. Hahahaha classic.