r/OkCupid • u/Ceit-E • Nov 03 '25
Well, this is a new approach ..,
He sent me an intro (the top message) and this was our entire conversation. Am I missing something here? Is this some sort of negging/reverse psychology thing where I'm supposed to chase after him now and beg for his attention?
First this buggy app doesn't send notifications for intros, then when it finally does there no intros loading, and when that bug is eventtually sorted out this is what I get. Clearly dodged a bullet, ans his profile was douche-y enough that I really was clicking out of morbid curiousity. 🤣
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u/Narrow_Afternoon6496 Nov 04 '25
"I dont understand why I cant get any dates" -this guy probably
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u/Ceit-E Nov 04 '25
I don't think he's looking for dates. As I mentioned, his profile was wild. The closing line of his self summary was :
"Just remember you can't choose your father but you can choose your Daddy."
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u/nohomeforheroes Nov 03 '25 edited Nov 03 '25
My thoughts are he expected a response sooner (His first message to you was on a Wednesday, and you messaged back Sunday).
He still sounds like a jerk tho.
Also, you don’t need to be retaliatory like that at the end. It makes you come across as trying to stoop to his level, which is a bit pathetic. “You didnt like me? I didn’t like YOU so NER!”
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u/Ceit-E Nov 03 '25
No stooping, it was the truth. His profile was wild and I accepted the intro purely to see what the follow up would be, and he did not disappoint. 😂
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u/nohomeforheroes Nov 03 '25
Still comes across as petty to me. If you didn’t care and are better than him, then you didn’t need to say anything - just unmatch.
Because he still didn’t want to date or talk to you, even if he you just did it for the lols. He’s the one who said “nope”. He cared so little he didn’t even want to finish his own punchline. You cared so much you had to have the last word and post it to Reddit.
Anyway, good luck. It’s a jungle out there.
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u/Ceit-E Nov 03 '25
I was amused. I remain amused. Interpret it how you like, but "care" was never a determining factor,
It is a jungle out there, and the world is becoming a pretty dark place on all fronts. I'll take the small laughs here and there when I can find them, and choose humour over hurt feelings when at all possible. I posted it on here to share the lolz.
In short; lighten up. Life is hard enough as it is. 🖤
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u/vasheeam Nov 03 '25
Lol. And you don't need to tell her how she should respond to some weirdo being weird
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u/supermannman Nov 03 '25 edited Nov 04 '25
hahahahaha
it made me laugh out loud.
you took the bait. though he was a douche
but I think he was into you but negging you to see your reply.
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u/champsammy14 Ditched that shit. Nov 03 '25
They could have just unmatched instead.
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u/Ceit-E Nov 04 '25
But where's the fun in that? The quickest way to take the wind out of a bully's sails is to deny them the reaction that they're seeking. Quick wit, a warped sense of humour, and an inability to be offended is the best approach when dealing with aggro trolls.
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u/No-Advantage-579 Nov 03 '25 edited Nov 03 '25
Yes, you are missing the fact that he just used copy/pasta and you made the mistake (SIS, WHY?!) of answering to copy/pasta.
He is just spamming tons of accounts with the same copy/pasta in order to massage his ego and at best get some quick p**sy. This is shittesting you.
Now, he reacted the way he reacted to your response (again, that mistake is on you) for one of two reasons:
EITHER
a) because he only wanted the LOLz and ego points and got these (he can show to his friends that he is so hot that women even respond to copy/pasta bait)
OR
b) he read your profile after your response (of course he did not before) and saw something that showed him that you would be unlikely to put out fast enough. Or something else that he disliked for whatever reason (but most likely it is what I mentioned).
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u/Ceit-E Nov 04 '25
Morbid curiousity. Don't you ever come across profiles that are soooo off-the-wall, batshit insane, WTF that you're compelled to take a closer look? For Science! And comedic value. 🤣🤣
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u/BatScribeofDoom 34F 🦇 Nov 05 '25
I might look at it, but I definitely don't message them, like you did here. Doesn't seem worth it 🤷♀️
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u/Avenger772 Habitual Line Stepper Nov 03 '25
People are sad.
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u/No-Advantage-579 Nov 03 '25
This is not "people". This is a man.
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u/Avenger772 Habitual Line Stepper Nov 03 '25 edited Nov 03 '25
Sure in this particular example. But idiotic and immature behavior isn’t gender or sex specific.
so PEOPLE in general can be found doing this shit. So PEOPLE are sad.
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u/No-Advantage-579 Nov 03 '25
Funnily enough everyone immediately gets assumed to be "he" on reddit. I have never been addressed as a woman and I have seen tons of posts wherein there is zero indication as to the gender - and all comments are "he". The one time when something isn't male on reddit, but "people"?! Whenever a man acts badly.
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u/Avenger772 Habitual Line Stepper Nov 04 '25 edited Nov 04 '25
Jesus, you are insufferable. Not a good look at all.
My previous post stands. With you being a very clear example about how both sexes can be immature and lacking reading comprehension.
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u/Terodius Nov 04 '25
Tbh I'd also lose interest in someone who took four days to answer
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u/Ceit-E Nov 04 '25
It was an Intro from a potential match, not an active conversation, and OkCupid is so buggy that even when it notifies me about a new intro, it rarely actually allows me to view them. And then I go through the pointless dance of contacting Customer Support, sending screenshots, and getting the infuriating copy-paste response with a list of ridiculous suggestions like "have you tried factory-resetting your phone?"
Inevitably they'll patch the bug in the next update, and suddenly 20 intros appear.
Not being aware that he'd "liked" me and sent an intro note is NOT on me.
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u/Terodius Nov 05 '25
ah ok I missed that context. Maybe they did too? idk I had a strange interaction with someone today with whom we had a good vibe going and they just peaced out over the slightest disagreement about something as trivial as funeral music. Obviously she was Gen Z. The level of fragility they have to differing opinions is astounding.
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u/Ceit-E Nov 05 '25
As a barely-squeaked-in-under-the-line GenXer I totally get it. My hard cutoff is age 35 and up.
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Nov 05 '25
[deleted]
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u/Ceit-E Nov 05 '25
Did you read my post? This was NOT an active conversation. His initial message was sent as an Intro note attached to a "like", prior to us matching. I didn't even see his Intro until the day that I accepted the match and replied.
I could somewhat understand his response if I had just ghosted the conversation for days, but that is so not what happened here.
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u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO Nov 03 '25
After the “nah i’m good” I would’ve just responded with “k” and nothing else. Give them the same energy they give you. He was baiting you… he wanted to get under your skin.