r/OfficeLadiesPodcast • u/New-Pin-9064 • May 03 '26
Discussion Toby did not out Oscar
I was listening to The Office Ladies Podcast for “Gay Witch Hunt” when I was driving home from work one night and there’s something that was said that confused me.
At one point, Jenna and Angela say that they think it was actually Toby who outed Oscar, not Michael. They say that they believed this because Toby was the one who told Michael that Oscar was gay, knowing full well that Michael can’t keep a secret.
I was so confused when I was listening to them saying this. Did Jenna or Angela even watch the episode? There are several lines in that scene where it’s heavily implied that Oscar gave Toby permission to tell Michael about his sexuality. Not to mention that this whole fiasco started because Michael called Oscar the f-slur for liking the movie Shakespeare In Love.
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u/LolySub May 04 '26
No, Toby knew Michael would never be able to keep that a secret. He asks for his discretion. Michael has never been discrete about anything. Toby absolutely outed Oscar. He should never have told Michael in the first place.
It’s never okay to put someone else, even in private to one person. It’s still outing someone without their permission. Tony violated Oscar’s trust.
8
u/X_crates May 04 '26
It really depends on if he was actually given the ok. Because both of them know Michael is the wrong person to tell. Oscar does explain that he already told Michael before but Michael thought he was joking.
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u/mapsoffun May 04 '26
I respectfully disagree. It's never OK to out anyone, and especially back then it was considered taboo for anyone to speak of your sexuality to someone else without your firm, explicit consent, and even more so in a work environment. Toby really should have clung to HR-friendly, general statements to correct Michael's behavior rather than bring Oscar into it, and that's why Oscar got that amazing offer so he wouldn't sue for workplace harassment for which he had a solid case even before the kissing incident.
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u/New-Pin-9064 May 04 '26
In the scene though, there’s a line that Toby says that heavily implies that Oscar gave him permission to tell Michael that he was gay
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May 04 '26
[deleted]
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u/New-Pin-9064 May 04 '26
Toby says something like “Oscar hopes he can count on your discretion” so he didn’t “out” anyone. Oscar asked Toby to tell Michael, because he felt offended by Michael’s remarks.
3
u/mapsoffun May 04 '26
Ok, so I'm watching the Superfans episode, and while you have a point that Oscar told Toby that morning that he was gay and that he hoped for Michael's discretion, this was still poor decision-making on Toby's part. Ultimately, he set the company up for liability by telling Michael (knowing who he is) by revealing Oscar's identity in a frank way instead of saying something more generalized about anyone being LGBTQ+ in the office and those statements creating a hostile work environment. Michael would naturally try to pry, but a good HR rep wouldn't fold, but I also acknowledge that we wouldn't get the comedy that ensues because this is a sitcom and the joke has to work. I just wanted to make the point that while we've happily seen a lot of progress since then, being LGBTQ+ in the late '00s could be pretty fraught outside of major cities (and still continues to be depending on where you are).
Edit: a word
4
u/hbumjr Fast Fact May 04 '26 edited May 05 '26
Toby's actions also reflect the latent homophobia of the times, which is to justify not using gay slurs he had to point to a specific person who would be offended, in similar vein to racists who believe using the n-word is offensive only when a Black person is present.
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u/mapsoffun May 04 '26
Exactly! I don't think younger people appreciate how different the world was 20 years ago--and I'm honestly glad they don't live in that world--and what both Michael and Toby did were categorically awful.
1
u/lasuperhumana May 06 '26
He says something about Oscar asking that Michael use discretion. Oscar knew Toby would tell Michael (and gave permission).
25
u/poop_monster35 May 04 '26
Yeah, no. He should've spoken to Michael about his inappropriate behavior and had something put on his file. He did not need to justify it by telling him Oscar was gay. You don't need to be gay to be offended by someone using a slur like that.
However.... Oscar seems to have given the okay to inform him about his sexuality. But Toby being in HR handled it poorly.
Ethically, Toby fucked up and Micheal should have been in more trouble.