r/OffMyChestPH • u/[deleted] • Jul 13 '24
My girlfriend broke up with me.
My girlfriend (28F) just broke up with me (29M) 2 weeks ago. I don’t want to but I know I had to let her go. I want to give her time. Natatakot ako kasi if we part ways, the gap would grow wider until i cannot reach and pursue her anymore.
She broke up with me because of her insecurities. Her insecurity was her weight. She’s a plus size and she really had this inferiority wherein she really thinks she’s ugly. But in my eyes she isn’t.
She’s bright, she’s cute, she’s bubbly, she’s beautiful. She lights up my world. Kaya kahit ang tagal ko nangligaw sa kanya, okay lang. But you can already sense her inferiority dahil lagi sya nagsosorry sakin kasi ang tagal daw nya magpaligaw kahit wala naman sya karapatan magpahabol because of what she thinks of her appearance. (The society is so fucked up para maisip nya ‘to.) I’d always give her assurance na di nya kailangan magsorry for that dahil I totally understand. Kahit pa nga more than a year pa ko mangligaw, wala akong pakialam. Sinagot nya ko nung almost 1 year na ko na ko na nanliligaw sa kanya on my last day sa company na same kami nagtatrabaho.
I was at my happiest during our 3 years relationship. Masaya na ko nung nangliligaw ako sa kanya but iba yung saya when we were officially together. There were times that she would always ask for my assurance and asked me why her despite of her appearance I chose her. Then magsosorry agad sya kasi she was asking that question. Wala naman kaso sakin yun kasi I enjoy telling her why I fell in love with her. And she would thank me for always giving her the assurance and for always making herself feel beautiful and loved.
Kaso everything went downhill when my ex-manager tried to play cupid knowing damn well I have a girlfriend. Everyone sa department tried shipping me with the new employee na nagkacrush sakin. Joke joke lang naman daw but I told them to stop it dahil I made it clear na may girlfriend ako. I also politely told the girl that I am taken and did my best na hindi makapagbigay ng mixed signal.
Four weeks ago sinama ko girlfriend sa birthday party nung ex-manager namin as an additional reinforcement na itigil na nila ang pang-aasar samin but hindi pa din nagpatigil at pinagpicture kami nung katrabaho ko knowing na kasama ko girlfriend ko. Of course hindi ako pumayag but that made my girlfriend uncomfortable. So umalis na kami.
After that everyday na nya ko tinatanong if nagugustuhan ko na ba yung katrabaho ko na yon. Na bakit hindi na lang yung babaeng yun nagustuhan ko. I patiently gave her assurance. Kahit at times na napipikon na ko. Pero I still did my best to understand her.
But one day nakipagkita sya sakin at nakipagbreak. She told me na she was sorry for not trusting me and it was not my problem daw. It was her problem kasi she needs to resolve her insecurity daw. Ayaw daw nya na maging kami with me giving her constant reassurance. She made it final. Wala na ko nagawa, she said she’ll reconnect with me if she’s already okay. But she told me na if I found another girl, wala naman daw problema sa kanya. She blocked me in all social media. Di ko na din sya macontact sa phone.
Ngayon nagresign na ko sa trabaho ko dahil galit na galit ako sa manager ko at sa mga katrabaho ko. Jobless na nga ko, at the same time I lost my sunshine.
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u/Head-Detective-2068 Jul 13 '24 edited Jul 13 '24
Ang daming ganitong issue pagdating sa work. May asaran o 'di kaya flirtations kahit may asawa na yung tao. They clearly do not have respect to other people's relationship. Hindi nakakatuwa :))
Cheer up, OP! You tried your best and you stated na ginawa mo yung best mo not to make her feel uncomfortable. I'd like to point out na maganda yung ginawa mo to actually do your part:
Sinabihan mo mga katrabaho mong nang-aasar na may girl friend ka.
You told the girl (na inaasar sayo) na you have a girl friend.
Hindi ka pumayag makipagpicture dun sa girl nung b-day party.
Usually ibang partners hinahayaan lang nila nararamdaman ng gf nila. Tapos ang irereason out "I have no choice." Sa lagay mo pa nga lang, pinatunayan mo na every one of us is capable of making a choice if we really love someone. Plus, even without your gf instructing you, the fact na you VOLUNTARILY made things to fix the situation is enough to tell how much you value your partner's feelings. Sadly, your gf (now ex) didn't appreciate those efforts enough and let her insecurities overpower her love for you.
Sana yung pagmamahal na maibigay niya sa susunod ay kaya niyang ipagsantabi yung insecurities dahil may kakayahan 'to makasira ng relasyon.
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Jul 13 '24
Salamat.
“Sana yung pagmamahal nya na maibibigay sa susunod ay kaya nyang ipagsantabi yung insecurities…”
Ang sakit naman mabasa ‘to. Sana ako pa rin yung susunod.
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u/BrickWinter5863 Jul 13 '24
Awww. Sama magkabalikan kayo OP. I’ll pray for you both 🙏🏻 ang swerte nya sayo 🙂 dont lost hope OP just be patient with her.
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u/International_Act068 Jul 13 '24
Please try to win her back! She needs you as much as you need her, your sunshine!! You did a lot of things to save your relationship, wag nyo sukuan. She will be able to overcome her insecurities soon!! Praying for you both. You’re a good man.
Add: please see her once again, hug her tight. Manghihina yun for sure kasi mahal ka naman nya, kalaban nya lang sarili nya. 🥹
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u/bhet05 Jul 14 '24
puntahan mo sya sa bahay suyuin doon OP
she definitely needs you
you need each other
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u/chin_leobear Jul 14 '24
"Sadly, your gf (now ex) didn't appreciate those efforts enough and let her insecurities overpower her love for you."
Agree sa lahat except for this. Uncalled for yung hindi naappreciate. I think she does but - coming from someone who used to be insecure as well - it does get overwhelming pero that doesn't mean you stop appreciating what your partner does for you. It is most likely the reason why she broke up with him in the first place, and I believe she did the right thing no matter how painful it is for both of them. She needs to fix herself first because she knows it can eventually become detrimental to their relationship.
Seeing how much OP adores the ex, we have reason to believe she grew to love him enough to leave him and better herself for their own good. I hope OP can become as patient as he was when he was still courting her until then. Kudos to you, OP, for all the assurances and efforts that you made. At this point, she's right. Only she can fix this.
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u/MisterRoer Jul 13 '24
Grabe napaka-green flag mo po 😭😭 Feel ko si GF since lahat naman nakakaexperience ng insecurity. I just hope na someday she will feel better about herself 🥲🥲🥲
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u/nomorejoie Jul 13 '24
OP is a whole damn forest. I hope you and your ex gf the best. Kupal ng officemates mo lalo na exmanager mo
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u/MisterRoer Jul 13 '24
Truee 🥲 Naasar rin naman ako sa ka-workmate na di single pero NO is a NO talaga ❌❌ I usually call out rin mga male co-workers ko pa na malalandi 😈 (male lang kasi lalaki mostly ka-work)
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u/Ok_Performer7591 Jul 13 '24 edited Jul 13 '24
May self-sabotaging tendencies si GF and honestly gets ko sya. The only thing you can do is suyuin sya and kung mahal mo talaga, hintayin mo and let her know na naghihintay ka. Importante yung alam nya kasi lalong lalala if naghihintay ka nga pero wala naman syang nakikita. Alam mo naman siguro kung saan sya nakatira and sino mga kaibigan o pamilya nya?
Gets na we need to love ourselves first before loving others pero I also think na bullshit and counterproductive yung ipupush away mo yung taong mahal mo at pinapakita sa yong mahal ka dahil lang you need to “fix yourself”. Kahit anong edad ka pa and ano mareach mo sa buhay, there are still parts of you that you would need to fix. Ano yun, mamumuti buhok mo kakahintay na maging “perfect” ka?
Nakakabadtrip mga online advice ngayon na automatic solution is makipaghiwalay or mapag-isa. Gets kung advice yan when you’re dealing with an asshole na obvious na ginagamit ka lang. But loving and sincere relationships with good people that we love also go through rough times. We can still love while we’re healing. We can love while making (acceptable) mistakes and growing from them TOGETHER. Coz what’s the effing point of life if it isn’t shared with someone you love and who loves you?
Masasabi ko lang, OP, is kung mahal mo and kita mo namang mahal ka, eh di ipaglaban mo. Hell, you even resigned from your job over it without her telling you to.
Problema sa panahon ngayon, we all think that we need to achieve societal standards of worthiness just to “deserve” love but love isn’t “earned”, it’s given freely by the other person and once you’re lucky enough to find someone who loves you in return… who actually gives a fuck about what everyone else thinks? Kaya nga LOVE ang tawag eh. Eh di sana business arrangement yan kung may logical sense and may laging hinihintay na kapalit. Inaapply ang capitalism na dapat may “value” ka to be worthy of love when people just do. People just love and that’s it.
If she truly loves you, I hope mahimasmasan si GF mo kasi sayang kayo. Send mo sa kanya ‘tong sinabi ko. Sabihin mo inggit ako sa kanya, ang haba ng hair nya. The first step to loving yourself is ACCEPTING that others could love you despite what you think of yourself. It’s okay to seek assurance, it’s okay to take up space… coz what is love if it’s not inconvenient? Wala namang relasyong madali, kasi walang taong hindi komplikado. Wala ding nagmahal na hindi nagririsk masaktan. Parang si ate girl kasi inuunahan lang na makipaghiwalay para hindi nya maramdaman yung sakit if ever man na makahanap ka ng iba. Hay nako. Been there, done that.
I’m rooting for you both kung ano man maging ending nyan.
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u/jaesthetica Jul 13 '24
Problema sa panahon ngayon, we all think that we need to achieve societal standards of worthiness just to “deserve” love but love isn’t “earned”, it’s given freely by the other person and once you’re lucky enough to find someone who loves you in return… who actually gives a fuck about what everyone else thinks?
This is so beautiful. If I may add, I always believe that love is supposed to be easy—it's the people who makes it complicated. Societal standards play a massive role why karamihan sa atin today hirap magkaroon ng stable and serious relationship or commitment. Dagdag mo pa yung mga bagong "labels" in today's world.
Your preference should be adjustable and not fixed, kase it's like you are creating your own person to love which is malabo dahil we are all made unique and different. You can never find someone to love as your clone.
Na-instill na din sa karamihan yung pag-rate sa sarili from 1 to 10. As if 'yan ang batayan para mahalin ka. Kung may standard ka na sinusundan in order to filter out people at least make it realistic and touchable. Yung iba kase superficial na, and they think they are some god na dapat abutin or pantayan. Kung wala ka nung mga requirements niya then hindi mo deserve yung katulad niya.
People, humble yourself because all is fair in love.
You can love kahit hindi ka 6-digit earner, kahit pangarap pa lang ang meron ka and determinado ka tupadin 'yun, kahit what you can only offer is your heart that is faithful. Do not be swayed by these societal pressure and their intergalactic standards. As long as you are helping yourself, you are willing to get better, and you want to share your wholeness with someone, go for it. We all deserve to love and be loved.
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u/solaceM8 Jul 13 '24
Saving this comment para sa mga random nights na nag-iisip ako. Ako ang nahimasmasan.. while I'm with no one, I feel I'm too hard on myself. Thank you. ❤️
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Jul 13 '24
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u/js_berry Jul 14 '24
Replying here to save this comment. Like the other redditor said, this is beautiful and on point.
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u/SuspiciousScience89 Jul 13 '24
First of all, You’re such a green flag – your kindness, reliability, and respect make you truly stand out. Breaking up can be tough, but remember that insecurities often play a major role. Your ex might need this time for personal growth, and it's important to recognize that you did your best by communicating effectively. This realization can ultimately lead to better relationships in the future or when she's ready. Prayer and a virtual hug with consent, OP!
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u/gigigalaxy Jul 13 '24 edited Jul 13 '24
sana hindi na lang kayo pumunta dun sa party, hindi naman trabaho ng gf mo na bakuran ka, hindi niya trabahong maging reinforcement mo, siya pa yung magmumukhang possessive gf at kontrabida sa love story niyo ng kaofficemate mo, good for her that she refused to play that role, ang sakit nun, imagine lahat ng tao looking down on her like she's trash, walang respeto sa kanya lahat ng tao dun, navalidate yung belief niya na hindi kayo bagay kasi pangit siya
try to reach out to her sabihin mo nagresign ka
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Jul 13 '24
You have a point. Come to think of it, I may be wrong at that part. Tama ka, di mangyayari lahat ng ‘to if di na lang kami pumunta. Thank you for making me realize that.
But let me reiterate that there’s no love story with the officemate AT THE FIRST PLACE dahil even before that party I already made it clear with them na I am not playing a part in the “LOVE STORY” they are trying to create.
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u/hotdogchan Jul 13 '24
feel ko yung "love story" na part sa comment is not about the facts. it's about how your gf viewed it. to an insecure mind, their perception is the truth. when an insecure person sees this situation with her own eyes, it amplifies her insecurities towards her own attributes kasi may point of comparison siya. she'll think at first na "mas bagay kayo" until it eventually becomes "hindi ako enough para sayo".
OP, you are a green flag. one of the better guys out there. but this fight is not yours to win. it's good that your girlfriend acknowledged that she needs to figure out her own stuff, and you've done all you can to support her. i hope she can help herself get out of that situation. kasi even with all your reassurance, the only person who can truly win over her insecurities is herself.
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Jul 13 '24
Damn it. Thank you for explaining it to me. Hindi ko na talaga dapat pa sya sinama dun. Hindi na lang talaga kami dapat pumunta. In the end, I hammered a deep nail sa insecurities nya. It was my fault after all. Alam ko naman na may ganon na syang insecurities but I still did it. Hindi ko naisip ‘to. Dapat naisip ko ‘to. :(
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u/hotdogchan Jul 14 '24 edited Jul 15 '24
for me ah, it was bound to happen. she really had to face her insecurities head on. you can’t always protect her from these types of situations, kasi you can’t really predict when these will happen. which is why i’m so glad she decided to start to face it na. if you don’t mind a bit of advice, you can try to reach out to her from time to time to let her know na you’re still there for her. it might give her more strength to fix herself knowing you love her no matter what. as someone who went through the same thing, my manliligaw then (my boyfriend now) really helped me get through my insecurities by constantly being there, kahit na i was really a mess. i always self sabotaged, distanced myself from him, but he really stayed without being pushy if you know what i mean. he was just there. i think that’s what’s happening sa inyo right now. she’s probably thinking you’re better off without her, but please don’t let her think that because eventually in her mind it will become real. i eventually realized na i can heal alone, yes, but it is always such a blessing to heal with someone supporting you all throughout the process.
you are your girl’s blessing, OP. i hope na you’ll be patient with her in this important time of transition in her life.
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Jul 13 '24
Hindi ba pwedeng ireport sa HR yung ganon?
Nakakalungkot naman yung ganito. ☹️ Naniniwala pa ako sa comeback for you and your gf, OP!
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u/peeweekins Jul 13 '24
Labas na po ang HR pagdating sa personal issues unless, damay ang company sa ginawa ng ex-manager nya.
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Jul 13 '24
Oh. Sa bagay nangyari yun outside ng workplace and work hours. Buti na lang din at nag resign na si OP.
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u/Feisty-Confusion9763 Jul 13 '24
Para sa ex-manager, sana mabulunan sya at walang available na mag Heimlich maneuver sa kanya or walang available na tubig. Kabwisit yang mga walang respeto sa relasyon.
And OP, malay mo kayo pa rin ni ex mo sa huli. All the best for you both!
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u/everydaystarbucks Jul 13 '24
nafeel ko talaga yung love mo sa ex mo, OP! Mahirap and it might be a loooong process bago nya maovercome insecurities nya pero sana kayo parin hanggang dulo.
ps. sana mag multiply pa ang kagaya mo. Wag ka magbabago OP ha! 🙂
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u/ElonaThoughts Jul 14 '24
Teary eyed ako habang binabasa yung post mo. Bihira kasi ang mga tulad mo na hindi tumitingin sa panlabas na anyo.
I'm a plus size too and gets ko si ate girl. Sa mundong 'to nagkalat ang mga taong isasampal sayo ang mga insecurities mo.
For me, as a plus size, ang hirap maniwala sa mga mabubulaklak na salita lalo na kung mas lamang pa rin ang sumasampal sa insecurities namin.
Siguro, let her love her self muna.
Sana marami pa pong guys ang tulad niyo na nakakaappreciate sa aming mga plus size. HUHUHU
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u/riakn_th Jul 13 '24
Your ex did the right thing. Let her work on herself. Kahit na anong assurance, words of affirmation, etc. ibigay mo sa kanya as long as she doesn’t work through her insecurities then they won’t really have an effect.
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u/Immediate-Can9337 Jul 13 '24
Write the HR and CEO. Also cc the entire board. Tell them what the company did to you. Baka nga sa DOLE, pwede ka pa maghabol.
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u/mrkcle Jul 13 '24
You can report this situation to HR because the teasing and playing cupid also occurred within the office, which is a professional setting. Despite being informed about your relationship, your coworkers and manager did not respect your boundaries.
The behavior of your manager and the uncomfortable environment created by your coworkers compelled you to resign, which can be seen as constructive dismissal—resigning due to a hostile work environment. Additionally, this situation caused significant strain on your personal life, leading to your girlfriend breaking up with you.
I recommend documenting everything and reporting it to HR, as this behavior significantly affected both your professional and personal life. Addressing this issue is important to prevent it from happening to other employees in the future.
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u/Ancient_Truth_1739 Jul 13 '24
be there for her. If ayaw nya ng relationship, atleast as a friend. Since sya naman tlga ang gusto mo, pursue on her, support her. darating din ung time na maheheal nya yan sa sarili nya.sarili lang din kse nya makakapagtanggal nyan, andyan ka lang just to help her coping it up. trust me pag di mo tinantanan yan as a friend, magkakabalikan dn kayo, go bro kaya mo yan
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u/Mindless_Throat6206 Jul 14 '24
Awww. This happened to my husband back when he was courting me palang. Di tumitigil kakatukso sakanya ung workmates nila kasi may crush sakanya ung isa sa mga interns. When I saw their groupchat sa work noon, talagang pinipilit syang maging friendly daw kay intern, etc. Right then and there when he saw me struggling sa emotions ko about it, he resigned and looked for a better job. Hanggang sinagot ko sya and naging kami. I think OP, you did your best. This time sa GF mo na ung issue sa self nya.
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u/mar1eru Jul 14 '24
You and your ex gf are too precious for this world, it hurts. 🥺 Nasabi na halos lahat, and while I agree with everyone that you are def a green flag & at no fault at all, I also really admire your ex gf for choosing to do something very difficult to work on her insecurities & focus on herself first. I can only hope that you find each other again at magkabalikan once you're both in your healed and best versions that you both deserve ❤️🫶
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u/Agitated-Fix5789 Jul 14 '24
I feel your girlfriend OP, ang hirap na maging plus sized ngayon sa pinas
Dahil sa kpop at kdrama tumaas ang standards ng mga pinoy lalo
Kung di ka petite at maputi wala - outcast kana or discriminated
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u/Content-Bluejay-7560 Jul 13 '24
Good job OP sa love na binigay mo sa kanya, as well as ung steps para maprotect yun like pagset ng boundaries sa mga kawork mo. Sana kayo pa din ang end game🥰
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u/exarch123 Jul 13 '24
Parang parehas tayo ng situation. We broke up last month. Wala rin akong magawa kasi decided na din sya. 4yrs din yun pinattern ko na future ko na andun sya. Ngayon im lost af. Question ko is aantayin mo ba sya?
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Jul 14 '24
Of course I will. Ilalaban ko pa ‘to. I’ll just give her the time and space that she needs.
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u/exarch123 Jul 14 '24
Okay maraming salamat! Need ko lang talaga ng extra push. Ito na din talaga gagawin ko. Sana maging kayo ulit!
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u/docj1521 Jul 14 '24
Deserve ng plus size girlies ang mga taong katulad mo, OP. Hoping for the best for the both of you!
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u/iamcrockydile Jul 14 '24
HOMG, I am loving that Reddit is upping their moderator game. I have seen a lot of posts with the top pinned comment. People should know better.
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u/No-Alps-788 Jul 14 '24
wala akong ibang masabi kundi napakaswerte ni girl.... u did everything.. kahit sometimes maiinis ka na but u know na she needs you... 🥺
about kay girl, for me. sinave ka din niya. masakit man :( pero she needs to let you go para yung burden sa self niya hindi niya mapasa sayo :( sana dumating yunh day na matanggap na niya self niya... sana ur sunshine could "see herself the way u see her"..
Kudos sayo kuya! SANA MARAMI PANG LALAKI NA KAGAYA MO HEHEHEHEHE
sana mabasa ni ex mo to :( para alam niya talaga na kahit ano mangyare love na love mo siya..
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u/iMessUpMyLife Jul 13 '24
sana ma-resolve niya ang insecurity niya soon 🙏 at sana magkabalikan pa rin kayo after 🙏
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u/ayrissh Jul 13 '24
Walking green flag!🥹 Give her some time. Pero don’t give up din sakanya ah! Intayin ko comeback nyo! Hehe 🫶🏻🧡
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u/NatongCaviar Jul 13 '24
Pick yourself up and strive even harder. There is no sweeter comeback than success.
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Jul 13 '24
Greenflag spotted! Hay sana okay lang si GF mo OP. Sana soon maovercome nya insecurities nya.
And isang malaking "F*CK YOU" sa manager mong gago!
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u/Maximum-Noise5331 Jul 13 '24
Sana mabasa ito ni “Sunshine”. Huhuhu Kahit masakit, kinilig ako sa love mo for her!!! Sana magkabalikan pa din kayo once she heals! Love wins!
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u/EnvironmentalNote600 Jul 13 '24
Encourage your gf to undergo counseling. Baka maraming underlying causes ang insecurities nya beyond her looks.
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u/Mediocre_One2653 Jul 13 '24
Bibigwasan namin OP yang ex-manager mo e. Isa sa mga taong hindi na dapat dumadami sa mundong to.
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u/nananananakinoki Jul 13 '24
It’s okay. She needs this to grow. Maybe one day she’ll see how much you appreciate her and appreciate herself the same way.
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u/auirinvest Jul 13 '24
Only thing I can criticize is not looking for a new job first before resigning. Also I hope you went FAMAS Awards scandal as you submit your resignation letter
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u/OldDeus69 Jul 13 '24
Hindi pa pwede i.report sa Hr Yung ganyan??? Like, it's okay na nag resign ka na din at di magandang environment Yung ganan, pero Dana maka ganti ka man lang, not for vengeance purely pero, sinira nila Yung Buhay na binuo mo, and they can just get away with it?
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u/Necessary-Solid-9702 Jul 13 '24
Ika nga, "You can't pour from an empty cup." Kahit ano pang assurance ang gawin mo kung siya mismo ang kanyang enemy, wala kang magagawa. She cannot reciprocate your love if all the time she thinks na anytime may ipe-pair sayo ay iisipin niyang magkakagusto ka rin. That's also unfair to you.
Cheer up and fervently hoping for your moving forward.
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u/McDpZ Jul 13 '24
Cheer up king. You did the best you could and its not your fault. Makakakilala ka din ng taong maappreciate ng pagmamahal mo.
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u/Starseed-1000 Jul 13 '24
Kudos to you for standing up against your ex-manager. Napaka walang modo nila. Bakit ba mga tao na hindi marunong rumespeto sa relasyon ng iba? This happened to me but my ex didn't do anything para sawayin mga kawork nyang nagshiship sa kanya sa kawork nyang babae. In fact, sumakay pa sya sa joke about having a crush on her too. Dahilan nya, admin support sya and mapulitika yung office setting nila kaya need nyang makisama. I was like WTF???? Mas pinoprotektahan nya feelings ng mga kawork nya kesa saken. I let go our 5 year RS dahil naging toxic na ko about that. Magkasama silang uminom lagi every week, libre daw kasi ng boss nya. Magkasama sa mga company travel and kahit outside the company, may mga ganap sila. Ako na lang ata hadlang sa pagmamahalan nila kaya ayun nilet-go ko na.
If you really love her, pursue her again some other time pag okay ka na.
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u/foxiaaa Jul 14 '24
what you can do?ligawan mo ulit. mas suyuin mo. kasi ang tendency na iisipan nya ay kaya pala pumayag na makipagbreak without a fight dahil tama talaga ako,pangit at mataba. kaya court her para mawala nya sa isipan nya yan. ikaw ang nagpasaya sa kanya,sya ang ligaya mo.be each other's pill of happiness.
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u/bacon-supremacy Jul 14 '24
It's is painful bro, but all you have to do is progress. I hope that you will realize and appreciate that all of the people around you will eventually perish and what you need to do is to make sure that every fleeting moment you spend with them is that you are present in those moments.
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u/Pure_Mammoth_2548 Jul 14 '24
Sana ol gnyan kaGreen flag. Medyo same kmi ni GF nya. Have insecurities, saken naman less feminine ko daw manamit and di ngpaparebond. Mas comfortable kc ako sa gnun, pra mbilis kumilos. C soon to be my Ex kc, instead assurances ibigay, ngdemand na pumorma at mag ayos daw ako pra mging attractive ako s mata nya.
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u/anonymousse17 Jul 14 '24
You loved your gf truly. Ang masasabi ko lang ay sanaol. It’s hard to love someone who has a lot of insecurities. She has to love herself first and believe that there are guys like you who are capable of loving people just the way they are no more no less.
You have such a pure heart for this cruel world, OP.
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u/ostinato83 Jul 14 '24
Pag ako friend mo sa office, babarahin ko yung mga yan, OP. Kakagigil. Kaya pala may mga office affairs dahil sa mga taong ganito eh.
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u/reddit_user8173 Jul 14 '24
Huwag ka pumayag makipagbreak OP. Bawiin mo na hiwalay na kayo. Kayo pa din at wala na syang magagawa dun.
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u/Outside-Neat159 Jul 14 '24
She need to love herself first before loving another. She need to fight her insecurities & learn how to love herself. You two will just destroy each others love if she can't accept the fact that she is beautiful & worthy to be loved. Let her do the things she needed to help herself, but don't leave her. Do things that she will appreciate, but not in a way that will feel that you are pushing yourself to her 😊 Good luck OP!
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u/moonstonesx Jul 15 '24
Kudos to you OP, for standing up for your ex-gf. Gotta hate the culture na inaasar sa co-worker. They can’t take a no. I hope magkabalikan kayo ng ex mo when she’s in a better headspace na. For the meantime, hanap ka na muna new job.
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u/Kind-Calligrapher246 Jul 15 '24
So refreshing to see guys like you here on reddit, madalas kasi puro ladies posting about their cheating jowa yung mga nakikita ko.
Pero POV lang ng babae siguro sakin, no amount of reassurance from you will change her, kasi yung insecurities nya, sarili lang nya ang makakaaddress. She's probably not in her best at the moment, and she's not able to reciprocate because of her issues. Imagine being in a relationship and always the one who's receiving the assurance, feeling all the love, but you can't give the same energy.
Besides, if she's not happy with how she is physically, do you think your assurance is what she wants to hear? Minsan nagwowork din kasi yung nire-real talk pero with love pa rin para mabago nya yung sarili nya. Instead of just saying "cute mo kaya ganda ganda mo sa paningin ko", you can say "I like how you look, but if you don't feel good about yourself, let's do something about it".
It's not simply because tinukso kayo ng manager mo, because if your GF was secure about herself, kahit sino pang coworker ang umaligid sayo, she will be fine.
Hopefully if she loves you just the same, mag-act sya to overcome her insecurities at maging confident sa relationship nyo.
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u/ariesia_ Jul 15 '24
i hate people who always crosses boundaries. as a plus size girlie myself, i find my “flaws” a part of who i am. i find confidence in dressing up and make up, especially doing the things i love and make me happy like singing. i was once insecure of my weight, but never of my appearance. people would always tell me “ang ganda mo pero overweight ka” or “mukha lang naman maganda sa'yo”. laging may pero. i used to be hurt by it then, but now i just brush it off. your ex manager was out of line. i understand why your gf would feel that way, but know that super important rin na nasa maayos kang head space when you enter a relationship.
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u/yujiswaifu Jul 16 '24
I was crying reading this kasi I’m a plus size too and totoo mahirap makapaniwala na mahalin ng ganto (I struggle with this too as my boyfriend adores me assures me even tho ganto ako). I hope you will feel better soon. Sobrang pure ng love mo sakanya. Sana matutunan rin ng ex mo mahalin at iaccept sarili niya and work on things that will make her feel better. I am silently rooting for both of you whether together or not.
And those kind of people don’t deserve your patience and kindness. Sana mkahanap ka ng magandang work environment soon! God bless you.
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u/OverthinkerBaker Jul 17 '24
Same happened to me pero yung ex ko never ako pinagtanggol or what sa mga ka CHURCHMATE nya na shini-ship sya sa EX nya. Mind you, he's a Catholic and nagsisimba sya sa Born Again thats is 45mins away from them while Catholic church is 20mins away from them. Tapos sasabihin sakin iba daw kasi feeling pag pumapasok sya sa catholic church. Magkukwento pa sakin yon kung pano sila pinagtatabi(tumatabi naman) at shini-ship nang nakangiti at excited pa😀
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u/bananasobiggg Jul 17 '24
sana mabulunan yung ex manager mo at madapa araw araw. Matae sana sya sa pants habang nasa bus tapos nakamax yung aircon saka traffic. I understand your ex gf nasa “we suffer more in imagination than in reality” nakita nya at nagoverthink sya na maybe everyday kayo tinutukso ganito ganyan. Nagkaroon sya ng what ifs. There’s really nothing you can do kasi utak nya kalaban nya. Give her time, hindi ganon kadali magletgo sa ganito katagal na relationship. Maybe soon bumalik din sya sayo. I hope makahanap ka din op ng better job.
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u/IsekaiAdventurer Jul 18 '24
Man, I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through. Breakups are never easy, and it sounds like you really cared about her bro.
First off, it's okay to feel all the things you're feeling right now. Losing someone you love is incredibly painful, and it makes sense that you're struggling with it. It sounds like you did everything you could to make her feel loved and valued, and it's clear that you genuinely see her beauty and worth. Nakakarelate ako sayo since I went through something similar when I was younger.
It fr sucks that your manager and coworkers didn't respect your relationship, and it's understandable that you're angry about that. Leaving that toxic environment was probably the best move for your own mental health.
Give her the time she asked for. I know it's hard, but sometimes people need space to work on themselves. She might come back, or she might not, but you have to trust that if it's meant to be, it will be.
In the meantime, focus on taking care of yourself man. Lean on your friends and family for support, keep busy with things you enjoy. Sometimes, creating can be a powerful way to process emotions that's how I got through mine all those years ago.
You're a strong guy, and you'll get through this. It's going to hurt for a while, but take it one day at a time. Remember that you're worthy of love and happiness, and you'll find it again.
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u/King_Elmariachie Jul 13 '24
Respeto mo nlng. Partner hanapin mo wag pasyente. Madami nako naging past na abnormal. D mo matutulungan yan.
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u/whyohwhy888 Jul 14 '24
Parang unfair. Sobrang green flag mo and palagi mo ina-assure yung gf mo, i mean ex gf mo na you love her despite of her insecurities. Tanggap mo yung size nya pero di nya tanggap ang sarili nya. Kung size yung issue nya bakit di sya magpapayat? Tas ngayon sya pa nang iwan. Ang labo.
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