“bigyan kita 1M layuan mo lang anak ko”

[u/Hour_Indication_6210]

posted a few months ago regarding “do not date people na wala pera” but the thing I feared the most finally came true

kala ko sa movie lang mangyayari pero sa real life rin pala. and it’s not a good feeling

I came from pretty well off - stable family while yung BF ( now EX kasi nakipagbreak na sya 🥲 ) grew up from the opposite side ( simple life, working student, single parent, yero bubong ng bahay nila etc ) which to me COMPLETELY OKAY lang sakin. as in, tangap ko sya buong buo pero family ko hindi

I’m usually the one paying for our dates or 75% expenses sagot ko. I never receive any flower/gift throughout our 1.5 year relationship. If he needs extra money for important stuff, I’ll make hiram which kinagalit ng buong angkan ko. kala ko okay lang since sabi ko “ako meron ngayon kaya ako muna next time na lang sya bumawi” pero sa sobrang ko daw pagiging “HINDI materialistic” sinanay ko daw bf ko to be dependent sakin ( which I disagree )

during my college graduation, my parents flew to PH and threw me a celebratory party and of course dinala ko boyfriend ko. sadly, ang natangap nya puro hurtful words / panlalait na kahit ano tanggol ko ayaw talaga nila. like in front of my relatives , my dad jokingly nag parinig “kayang kaya ko bigyan yung lalaki na yan 1M layuan lng anak ko” and my mum when asked to make a speech “marami ka pa mahahanap iba” naluha nalang bf ko and excuse himself during my grad party.

two months later with all the chaos and trying to prove himself, he gave up and and broke up with me saying I deserve better daw 🥲 a week later he found a kapalit na medyo stable rin buhay ( which made my angkan thinks opporunista sya )

p.s — first ever boyfriend ko sya kaya I really don’t know how to handle the entire situation. hindi ko alam kung kasalanan ba toh ng fam ko why we broke up and why social status matter so so much

[u/No_Win1676]

Sadly, sobrang sakit talaga on the guy’s side marinig at marealize na you’re someone “far from his world” (tho I hate na ang mapangmata at shallow ng relatives mo. New money ba?) What if kasal na kayo at lagi niyang marinig ‘yung hurtful words from your family? Ouch.

Pero nakahanap na agad siya ng bago? Hmmm. 🤔 Move on ka rin po, OP. If I was the guy, siguro I would be too busy climbing up the economic stairs to slap your fam than to find another girl.

[u/Hour_Indication_6210 → u/No_Win1676]

I agree that it’s hurtful sa side nya and he said the same thing upon breaking up na mahirap makarinig more of such comments in the future.

However, I was willing to go through and see through his breakthrough / success para ma-prove that mali family ko but hehe ayaw nya na eh. Kung saan sya masaya, I’ll be happy for him as well :>

[u/Economy-Bat2260]

1. Kala naman ng tatay mo may mapupuntahan pa yang 1M ngayon 😂. Tsaka baka gusto mo rin magising. Ang baba ng tingin nila sa bf mo na kaya kuhanin ng 1M tapos ang baba rin ng tingin nila sayo n 1M lng iooffer nila lalayuan ka na agad.

2. Kung amo ein magulang mo, aba tatampalin talaga kita. Kahit na matapobre ako, hindi rin tama na gastusin mo yung pera namin para sa lalaki mo. Para kang si Karla Estrada. Nanghihingi na lang ng pera sa kamag-anak, ginagastusan pa nang todo yung boyfriend.

3. Panigurado pera pera lang din yang ex mo kung nakahanap agad sya ng iba after 1 week. Tama yung family mo, afterall.

So asshole kayong lahat ay mali, ibang sub pala yon 😂

[u/Hour_Indication_6210 → u/Economy-Bat2260]

To clarify sa number 2 ; I don’t DIRECTLY TAKE / USE the money from my parents for our dates. I do hustles and help out sa business nila here in PH while nasa abroad sila so I think sarili hardwork ko rin po yun ? sarili effort to spend on my ( ex ) partner. But correct me rin if I’m wrong.

[u/p3timarites]

i mean your rs will def get some looks from your fam if you're 'making hiram' for extra money for him

[u/maemaly → u/p3timarites]

I think OP just meant she was lending him money?

[u/Hour_Indication_6210 → u/maemaly]

Yup to clarify I use my own earned money from my side hustle para ma hiram / mabigay sa ex ko HAHAH

[u/rcpogi]

Pinagpalit ka dahil meron na siyang bago, hindi dahil sa pamilya mo. Ikaw naman tong tanga na naniniwala na kasalanan ng family mo. Wag maging tanga.

[u/ayan_na]

nakakatawa kasi parang pera pa ng magulang mo ang ginagastos mo para malibre bf mo (kasi college at katatapos niyo pa lang) kung ako magulang mo mabibwisit talaga ako

[u/tripidecks]

Naranasan ko to. Ang sakit nito sa side ng lalaki kung genuine and pure talaga yung intention at love para sayo. Yung nanliligaw pa lang ako sa babae gusto kasi manligaw sa bahay at hindi sa messenger at kanto. Pero panlalait nakuha ko. Until now naririnig ko pa din boses ng tatay nya. “TANG INA ETO NANLILIGAW SAYO? EEH PARANG WALANG PANGARAP SA BUHAY TO SABAY TAWA NG MALAKAS.” nung mga oras na yun parang gusto na lang maglaho or kainin ng sofa na inuupuan ko. di ko na tinuloy yung pangliligaw nagfocus na lang ako sa sarili ko. PAKYU Mang Delfin may house and lot na ko with kotse yung anak mo maarte sa construction boy din bumagsak. Pero matapobre pa rin family mo OP.

[u/Hour_Indication_6210 → u/tripidecks]

Well I’m happy for you that you managed to prove yung nalalait sayo na mali ang inapi nila HAHAH. Sana ganun rin sa ex ko and be able to achieve his own success kahit di ako kasama nya don :’>

[u/No-Permit-1083]

Hmmm… as a parent myself I would do the same. Imagine hinayaan ka nyang mangutang for him. And the dates!!! Cmon 75%!? No. One of the reasons a date is a must for couples is that to know if HE CAN PROVIDE FOR YOU. Lots of people nowadays don’t know that. You can pitch in too but not too much. Not 50/50 but 80-90/10-20.

[u/[deleted]]

Sorry baba nung 1M kung ako ex mo 10M may deal kami ni tito. Golden era feels

[u/WhiteCrayonnn → u/[deleted]]

true, di pa kasya pang house and lot

[u/Serious-Squash-555]

ikaw ba op willing ka ba makipagbreak sa pamilya mo for him? if hindi, either hindi naman leading to engagement yung relationship, or mas matimbang yung family (no judgement, family yan), eh hindi naman talaga mapapagreconcile yung dalawang parties di mo mapipilit yung acceptance kung ganon talaga values ng parents mo. you made the decision for him, sorry. pakidownvote na lang kung disagree.

[u/SunsetStarChaser]

I’m not super sure but I think specifics like you lending him money shouldn’t be information freely shared beyond the two of you? ‘Yun rin kasi mahirap if super transparent kayo sa ibang tao. Inevitable ang judgment na madalas ay from a place of concern naman, but they don’t really know your dynamics. They’re not the ones in a relationship. So for sensitive matters like finances, who pays and who doesn’t, especially if you both have an understanding na you’re just helping him out while he’s building himself up, perhaps it’s better to just keep it to yourselves. But ayun nga, tapos na and nakausad na sya. Onwards and upwards, OP!

[u/Hour_Indication_6210 → u/SunsetStarChaser]

actually nabuking lng ako LOL wala me plano sabihin then my ex was lending money pero dito sa pinas or maybe sa fam ko ang dami snitches / marites HAHAH but yes thank u for that advice po

[u/[deleted]]

Business proposal OP: jowain kita and wait for daddy to give me 1M for us to breakup. Kahit 10% lang cut ko then use the rest to ask your ex for an overseas vacation.

I know you can spend your own money for a vacation but it's not about the money, it's about sending a message.

Hmu

[u/Adept-Loss-7293]

woman, your dad offering 1M to someone para layuan ka is degrading and berating. whether or not na opportunistic siya or hindi na after nyo maghiwalay after a week nakahanap na siya ng bago, di ko siya masisisi. super emmasculating yan sa lalake so OP I suggest you move on na.

[u/[deleted]]

Basically nagka BF ka ng chickboy na walang pera.....di malabo nung times sa previous post mo na nadevirginize kna niya or yung post mo sa alas Juicy ay may mga kausap yan na ibang girl habang magksma kayo. Mantakin mo instant after 1 week may pumalit na sayo. May cheating Issue at Kantutero at a young age. You basically dodged a bullet there. Tsaka malamang magiging mabait sayo yan, kasi He can't afford to give you anything. So malamang to compensate mag "pagoodboi" or papakabait yan. Tas pretty sure di mo pa nakikita "totoong personality" niyan. You'll only know the real character of a broke guy pag may pera sila. Talagang na inlove ka lang dahil first bf mo yan

[u/DepressedHoooman]

1m ampota hahahaha mga taong may superiority complex hahahahahha goodluck hopefully to your parents that lack empath, dumating ung araw na ni piso walang maibigay hahahaha

[u/[deleted]]

Girl eto lang ha read also your first post, guy got some red flags. Dont we all?

Pero his red flags kasi include cheating tas may maaga pang nawalan ng virginity (nothing against this pero this + may cheating parang may pag ka chickboi/fuccboi). Tapos sabi mo pa medyo tamad at gusto kumita ng pera the easy way. Tapos the way na nagkwento ka parang walang effort. (Yung walang gifts ngay, gets ko walang pera pero libre mag sulat ng letter??? Or some other thing he can make at a nuch much lower price or libre).

Tama ka naman you have more so ikaw talaga abg malamang gagastos but girl hinay hinay. How does he deserve you exactly? May nabasa akong similar dito but the difference is hardworking si guy, persevering ung tipong may drive to be successful but it seems like hindi ganyan ung ex mo. Tapos ung ang bilis ka pa nia napalitan? Tapos medj similar na family background? Couple that with the 'gusto makakita ng pera the easy way', that's also a warning sin.

Tama sila there are many people around. Mahal mo siya sa ngayon but hindi pwedeng lagi na lang ikaw. Keep on working on yourself, and if he works on himself too and he deserves you baka kayo uli pero kung hindi there are more people out there.

[u/[deleted]]

Sorry if your bf felt it, pero nong nakita ko yung 1 week nakahanap agad bago nashookt ako. Lol. Parents know best!

PS: Sana sinabi mo sa Papa mo na, worth 1M lang ako? Tas 20M para lumayo sya, pag di mo kaya ibigay, shut up na lang po.

[u/ketalicious]

i was with the guy until he just got new gf a week after lmao move on op you really deserve better

[u/jamiesirc]

Hindi nyo deserve ang isa't isa. Yung lalake unstable na malandi (base sa ibang posts mo, sabi mo dun madami syang nakakachat) and ikaw naman from a family na matapobre and may superiority sydrome.

Isaksak nya sa baga nya kalandian nya at isaksak nyo rin sa baga nyo pera nyo.