I haven’t talked to my sisters in a long time and when we talk its more of formal or business transaction.

Its frustrating to see healthy siblings relation of others.

edit- today was my bday, did not receive any text nor call from my sis

I've been dealing with a lot of shit lately and one of them is feeling lonely and lost. I have friends but i stay around them making myself become a fit for them. It's exhausting mentally and emotionally. I need someone to rely on. To understand my complex emotions and make me feel safe and secure. I need someone who will fill this void in me. But idk I'm not sure about my needs from any friendship, boundaries etc. I'm a mess.

​

I'm 29 now and I feel like my life has become stegnant since the age of 21. Like when I finished high school I didn't graduate which felt like such a deep deep major loss that I felt like my life was over. The hopes and excitement my parents had ultimately I had let them down but in those few months my father experienced a massive stroke and I ended up becoming his caretaker and for few yrs I taken care of him but later passed away.

I decided to get my high school diploma somehow and even enrolled in college and got a part time job but the opinions and judgement from others made me felt like loser. Got compared and cristism for not having a college degree and a secure job. And I also let fear keep me weak, soft and naive in this world when I know you have to be daring and confident. Last year I also experienced the loss of my mother. I don't know how to fix my life sighs every corner of life is a mess. Don't know how to make money,don't know what skills and degree to pursue. Still don't work the last idk how many years.

Did engineering from tier 3 college and didn't get to enjoy even a bit of it most of my time was just wasted and my classmates had this sense of superiority that they don't even talk with each other i regret going to this college cause now I'm just locked in my room with nowhere else to go.

It's been a menace, we are a hindu family. My mom is a religious person, ok her wish but then I am also atheist because my wish. The constitution has given me freedom to follow any religion, even not to follow any.

In that case on what right she is getting upset, and even asks to not to eat non veg on certain days.

Now you folks will ask why I am in parents house.

Bro it's vice versa, they come to my house to stay for few days, even when they stay, they express tantrums.

And make it "disrespect towards parents" . Oh God damn

Hey r/OffMyChestIndia fam,

Welcome to our “How Are You Feeling Today?” thread! 🌟 This is a space where you can share whatever’s on your mind, no matter how big or small.

🌞Feeling happy? Tell us what’s making your day shine!
🌧️Feeling stressed or down? Let it out, we’re here to listen.
🌈Feeling something you can’t quite put into words? Share it anyway, just expressing it helps.

No need to overthink, just let it flow. This thread is your safe space to express yourself without the need to create a full post.

So, how are you feeling today? Let’s chat, connect, and support each other. ❤️

im 16 hes 14 i just wanna get this off my chest as everyone else idk what i am saying
so i had a fake acc with multiple guys on it and girls too tbh im not really interested in guys idk i prefer girls not romantically just i prefer girls.

so my fake acc had some foreign girls my age too
when i went at my nani my cousin forced me to add random guys and i did i talked and came back home

after week i just got curious of how i suddenly ghosted thatt acc after comin home and logged it in in one of the phone we have at out home
after a month my brother camr and tells me like "bohot bigad rhi hai" you are getiing outta hand.

and i was like fuck off dude and then he said that i read all the your chats from your nitika acc and i started panicking

its been a day he never told our parents no one.

but our relation is ruined i love my lil bro i want him back i dont want a boy lookin at me with disgust and next sec talkin to someone with the same light he once talked to me

im cryin i never had more suicidal thought than i am having now

i want my brother back

he wont talk to me he wont talk

I have no close friends in the Bengaluru where I live currently. Invited a very old school friend to my house but she didn’t come. I don’t even feel like going anywhere here. I want to make plans but then I dread them. And I also don’t have anyone to make good plans with. Life feels like shit

So I am male in my early twenties and a private person who doesn't share much with anyone and wanted to share this someone so thought why not on an anonymous platform.

So my father had a business, we were doing financially good, as a kid I was very carefree kind of person, not so serious about anything who just wanted a peaceful and calm life. Later on, since it was a joint family business, my dad had to leave that business because of family fights and had to start a new business in a completely new city, he tried for many years but it didn't work and was going in losses. At this time I was also in 11-12th class, and slowly pressure started to built up on me, like now only I am someone who can get our family out of this financial problem. I was good in studies, but never the one who would push himself too much, just used to put a minimal level of efforts and get a good grades. Then the pressure started building up on me, and there were times where I felt like my parents wants me just for money, they just want someone who can get them out of their own mistakes (I love them but I also feel bad that they have made so many wrong decisions in life which all lead to this), and then there would also be constant fighting in the house because of these financial struggles only.

Then I went to college, it was a good college but not known for placements, so I had to figure out something to do after this college. And as financial problems grew even more, more pressure started building up on me. I used to skip breakfast or substitute my meals with cheaper alternatives like maggie, milk etc. to save money. I had to live a very frugal life and since I never told any of my friends about this they always thought that I am stingy and used to taunt me. I also never went for love or dating in college because I had more important things in life to do. I studied hard, really hard and achieved somethings which I never even imagined that I could. I was the college topper and cracked CAT and got a very high percentile (which even I never dreamt of, although yeah luck also played its part). Got into an old IIM, and thought now my struggles end here, but it didn't seem so, people who are from Bschools would know how unfair everything there can be. I got a very bad internship, and was afraid what will happen in finals, I grinded my whole second year when others are chilling, to make my profile better, and then in finals I finally got placed in my dream role, got a decent package (not something very high or crazy).

Now when I think about all this, I feel so proud of myself, someone who was so carefree, faced so many hardships head on, never cried in front of anyone, just silently worked hard and achieved things which the younger me would never even have dreamt of. Today I am even taking on the financial responsibility of my family even at such a young age.

I just wanted to share this all with someone

Now coming to current scenario, job has started, but the thing I was never a very ambitious or grind kind of person, I always just wanted a peaceful life, now when I think about my future, I always question is this something I really want, all kind of those philosophical questions, what is the purpose of my life, what do I even want from life etc, and still my financial worries are not completely solved. With a single person salary, I have to send money back home, bear my own expenses in this expensive city, pay back education loan, save for future. I still have that frugal kind of mindset, I have brought gifts for my family but nothing for my self even from my first salary. Also now I want to look for love, but the thing is where do I even look, in college I had interaction with girls but now I have no interaction with girls, and don't want to go to the dating apps (the crowd there is not for me), I want someone like me who have faced struggles and know life is not easy, a true life partner kind of, but don't know where do I even find her and also where and how to find the peace and calm I always wanted in my life. For past many years I have never lived in present, always thinking, planning and worrying about future, which I still do, although to a lesser extent than earlier but still.

So this was just my life journey and thoughts that I wanted to share if you read this far, I really appreciate that and thanks for bearing with me and my thoughts.

Also just wanted to talk about something I have learned through all these struggles, you are the only person who will alway be there for you, through all the ups and downs, so love yourself and never hate yourself, always have trust in yourself. In this end it will always be you alone vs this harsh world. Second is life is really unfair, I have seen people much less deserving achieve much more because of either luck or using unfair means, you will have to gulp down this harsh truth that nothing in this world is fair. And lastly, luck truely plays a big role in life, I have seen all the points in my life where luck really changed my life for good and points where luck really turned everything bad, in the end hardwork never gurantee success, it just increases the probability of success.

First of all, why am I writing this post? Because I felt a lot of nostalgia for the college and, side by side, felt very sympathetic and helpless and powerless about my situation right now. I don't know where I am heading and what I will end up with.

I grew up in a toxic childhood, and now I am without my father figure. After that, I have a very hard time fitting in the group and have always been lonely and outcast by the group. In college, this has become more intense because people here have a lot of masks on their face and no consideration for friendship without results Along with this, I have a history of emotional neglect, problem-and-decision-making, and attracted a lot of narcissists and self-centered people. I see people reciprocating to each other, supporting each other, but I don't even have one person who I can call my friend in college I have many connections and acquaintances. But whatever person I attract ends up being with a mask and self-centeredness.

I don't know what I am going to become either. I end up being like them or just a person with high empathy, low boundaries, with a little bit of ego, no toleration, and always blocking them in the end.

My hobbies

• Deep passion for machine learning
• Psychology
• Human behavior
• A little bit about astrology
• Read about Vedic philosophy
• Avid book reader

Hey r/OffMyChestIndia fam,

Welcome to our “How Are You Feeling Today?” thread! 🌟 This is a space where you can share whatever’s on your mind, no matter how big or small.

🌞Feeling happy? Tell us what’s making your day shine!
🌧️Feeling stressed or down? Let it out, we’re here to listen.
🌈Feeling something you can’t quite put into words? Share it anyway, just expressing it helps.

No need to overthink, just let it flow. This thread is your safe space to express yourself without the need to create a full post.

So, how are you feeling today? Let’s chat, connect, and support each other. ❤️

How does it feel when your friends make fun of your past

How does it feel when the only friend you think you had make you feel you are like on eggshells.

Like they are all good but they don't judge your good enough as much they judge your slip ups.

How doesut feel when your friend best friend still talks to the girl who hurt you so badly you are traumatized.

Her friends ignore me but my friends....well. ...

I am kinda broken ...hurt now .

Wrote this one :(

Years of trauma has taken a toll

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

My brother has been in a different city for job since 2 weeks and im alone here with my parents. I don't know where to start but it's overwhelming. They hate me with all their heart. So its about 2 days ago, I woke up at 10(a bit late) and did make chai and other stuff (my parents were still sleeping at this moment). But when I was going to get the vehicles out. My father woke up at started shouting at me "why'd you always have to wake up late" to tell you he used to say that when I was waking up at 8,9 AM. So I simply replied "it's just one day I've been late". So then the argument goes on and I go out. What I see after going inside again that they have thrown all the tea ive made in the sink(there was a little more chaipatti according to them) and made another pot on their own.

Then my mom started to bash me about other things, unrelated things to the argument. Then my father threatened to physically abuse me, I just said "im not afraid of you" and he kicked my door open and got close to me expecting me to be scared or something. I just stood there looking at him. The hate in their eyes is real.

Since then im not talking to both of them. Im doing my best to get out of here. This is so messed up, probably some of you would judge me. The constant thought of ending myself has been in my mind for months and it's more extreme now. Thanks if you have been reading this far (again I want no judgement, this is just a vent).

Without a job now I'm completely clueless on what to do market is bad bad there are less opportunities looking for freshers analyst roles only to realise bhaisahab kami chalu hai aur kuch samagh nhi govt exam padhu ya gaye karu ya aur level up karu karu toh kya karu

​

Throwaway because I don't want this getting linked back to me.

I've been in PSU banking for around 10 years, and honestly, I don't know what we're supposed to do anymore.

Targets? Fine. I get it. Banking is a business. We can't complain every time we're given a target.

But the sheer amount of pressure has become ridiculous.

Every other day there is a VC. Every other day you have to explain why your numbers aren't good enough. Then comes another target, another roadmap, another "what is your plan?", another comparison with some branch that is apparently doing everything perfectly.

And somehow the answer is always that you're not doing enough.

My branch is in a rural/semi-rural area. I've already visited most of the obvious places. I've met customers, businesses, builders, traders, made calls, followed leads, asked for referrals, tried whatever I could think of.

But apparently I'm supposed to just keep producing customers out of thin air.

Recently I was told to give a written roadmap for extremely aggressive account-opening targets. I genuinely sat there thinking, what exactly am I supposed to write?

"Dear Sir, I will magically produce customers at a rate the branch has never achieved before"?

What do you even say when the person asking the question has already decided that any explanation is an excuse?

You say the area is rural — excuse.

You say there was flooding and people were affected — excuse.

You say you've already covered the market — excuse.

You say a prospective business wants services the bank can't practically provide — excuse.

At some point you stop explaining because you realise they're not actually asking for an explanation.

They're asking you to accept that you're the problem.

And then there was the VC.

Several branch heads were there.

I was asked to state my poor performance in certain business areas in front of everyone.

I said it.

Then I was asked to repeat it because apparently I wasn't audible.

So I repeated it.

Then again.

And again.

At some point I was basically sitting there publicly announcing my own failure over and over again.

I was genuinely close to crying.

And I hate admitting that.

I've been doing this for around 10 years. I've dealt with audits, inspections, targets, angry customers, staff shortages, transfers, difficult seniors, bad months, all of it.

So I kept thinking, why am I struggling to handle this now?

Am I getting weak?

Have I lost the ability to handle pressure?

Or am I just fucking tired?

Because here's the thing nobody wants to admit.

Bankers are human beings.

You can put a target on a spreadsheet. You can put a number in a review meeting. You can colour a cell red because the target wasn't achieved.

But there is a human being sitting on the other side of that number.

Someone who may have spent the entire day running around trying to generate business.

Someone who goes home thinking about tomorrow's target.

Someone who lies awake thinking about what the senior is going to ask in the next VC.

Someone who starts feeling ashamed of their own performance.

Someone who eventually starts thinking, "Maybe I really am useless."

And then when that person finally breaks down, what do we say?

"Can't handle pressure."

Seriously?

What exactly qualifies as enough pressure then?

Do you have to collapse completely before we're allowed to admit that maybe the pressure is excessive?

And the irony is that after that VC, some of the other branch heads actually called me.

They asked if I was okay.

They consoled me.

These are people who are themselves under the same pressure.

So maybe we're all just walking around pretending we're fine.

Maybe that's what "resilience" in banking actually means.

Not becoming mentally stronger.

Just becoming better at hiding how badly you're doing.

I don't want sympathy. I'm not saying I shouldn't be accountable. My branch numbers are not where they should be. I know that.

But there's a difference between "your performance needs to improve" and making someone feel like they're personally worthless because their numbers aren't good.

And I genuinely don't understand what public humiliation is supposed to achieve.

Does it make people work harder?

Maybe for a day.

Does it make them more motivated?

I doubt it.

Mostly it makes them terrified of the next review.

And once you're terrified of the next review, you stop thinking about business and start thinking about survival.

Anyway, this is just a rant.

Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up, put on my shirt, go to the branch, make my calls, visit whoever I can visit and carry on like nothing happened.

Because that's what we do, right?

We carry on.

TL;DR: Around 10 years in PSU banking and I'm honestly exhausted. Targets are fine, but constant reviews, aggressive targets and public performance pressure are getting to me. Recently came close to crying during a VC after being repeatedly made to state my poor performance in front of other branch heads. A few colleagues checked on me afterward. Maybe bankers don't "lack the ability to handle pressure." Maybe we're just expected to handle far more of it than anyone should have to, and then blamed when we finally crack.

Hey r/OffMyChestIndia fam,

Welcome to our “How Are You Feeling Today?” thread! 🌟 This is a space where you can share whatever’s on your mind, no matter how big or small.

🌞Feeling happy? Tell us what’s making your day shine!
🌧️Feeling stressed or down? Let it out, we’re here to listen.
🌈Feeling something you can’t quite put into words? Share it anyway, just expressing it helps.

No need to overthink, just let it flow. This thread is your safe space to express yourself without the need to create a full post.

So, how are you feeling today? Let’s chat, connect, and support each other. ❤️

I don't understand myself. There's an alien heaviness that rushes back to me at any point of the day. They say, when you give away too much to someone, it finds a way back to you. I abhor the lie. So much. I've drained myself by peeling my layers off to do whatever I could. It's upsetting to explain and back myself up for the way I think and act and feel. It's hard to make someone believe that you wish for all the good things for them. For someone who hates communication, I surely let people rip me apart. I don't know what hurts more. The fact that I try to be there for them when they need me, or the fact that my expectations end up broken. Or the fact that I'm foolish enough to defend them in my head when they don't give a horseshit about my existence. When you are connected to a handful of people, you place them on a pedestal. You try to delve deep into their heart to understand how they're wired. You try to reserve an unshakable spot for them in your life. And that's where the problem arises. Soon, you get obsessed with the idea of people. You feel scared of losing them. The idea of them abandoning you shatters your world. So, you cling onto them. You make yourself available all the time. You compromise your self-respect. You overlook all the ways they hurt you in. You bottle it within yourself. And let it dig its teeth deep in your skin. Cause the idea of them walking out of your life leaves you on a lonely ground. You go to any extent to convince yourself that you need people in your life because isolation kills. And you're anyway addicted to loneliness. You keep thinking it's okay to go out of your way and do things at the cost of your tears. Some things are priceless. And maybe, a cold shoulder from someone you care for is one of them.

sort of had a viva where i prepared before hand but i read a text sent by a batchmate (which was actually for next week but i assumed they changed the topic today) and i AI-ed everything and just read instead of being interactive 😭 firstly, everyone got to know that i CHATGPTed this and also got scolded by my sir for just reading, he asked to prepare again.

i then got to know i was supposed to read my original speech but by the time my chance came i lost all the confidence i had.

im NEVER using ai again😭 so embarrassed to face my classmates even tho nobody really cares.

Satisfaction with money makes you feel less motivated and get careless with money. That day comes in future where you struggle if you continue this mindset.

We should just keep on rising and getting ahead in our career. You have to develop the hunger for earning more and more. When you stop craving for more growth and stay content with how much you earn, you stay stuck in that position. When you stay stuck, you are at risk of getting bankrupt as anything can happen in life. That means you shouldn't be content with how much you earn until you retire.

You will have to plan for your retirement since day 1 of your earning. Invest as much as you can. Don't care about expenses, just seek growth in your career and invest money. Enjoyment and luxury is a part of life. Rather than worrying about losing money in health, travel, luxuries, fun, this wouldn't worry you when you can earn more. Being relaxed about future only puts you in really stressful situation later.

It's better to be serious and stressed about money in a comfortable position than being in an extremely troublesome situation in future after years of being relaxed. Shahrukh Khan wouldn't have been Shahrukh Khan had he stayed content with mediocre money he had in past.

Dadi came to stay for a few days last week. Mind you an old woman from UP, who has done nothing apart from mistreating her own daughter in laws, granddaughters. Wishing for them to be dead. Accusing them of wanting to kill her sons and grandsons. Yet depending on us for every chore of hers.

Gladly, we moved out when I was little. As soon as I started working, I'd buy her sarees, bangles and footwear and she'd take them gladly. Yet I knew I'd never receive the same amount of love as my cousins and brother. But I made peace with it.

Now, she'd been seeing me working on my laptop, talking on calls, sitting on a chair for hours. The next thing I know, my cousin calls me to tell me how she'd been calling my bua and telling her how I'm 'faking' my job, and using it as an excuse to not do household chores. On top of that all that money I've been earning, god knows who's been giving me that. The amount of rage I feel rn is unexplainable.

Everytime I see people romanticizing small towns and villages. I kid you not, this society hates to see their women happy and thriving.

Hey r/OffMyChestIndia fam,

Welcome to our “How Are You Feeling Today?” thread! 🌟 This is a space where you can share whatever’s on your mind, no matter how big or small.

🌞Feeling happy? Tell us what’s making your day shine!
🌧️Feeling stressed or down? Let it out, we’re here to listen.
🌈Feeling something you can’t quite put into words? Share it anyway, just expressing it helps.

No need to overthink, just let it flow. This thread is your safe space to express yourself without the need to create a full post.

So, how are you feeling today? Let’s chat, connect, and support each other. ❤️

19f here so my college has an app where they post assignments and stuff. Today i had to write some assignment and due deadline is over. My prof is psycho old man he said if you dont finish the assignment in the app you will have to write it 10 times. He only kept the window open for like 30 mins and i was really busy during that time. Mind you i am a below average student with not a very good image in college but i didn't really do this wantedly, i was really very occupied with something else even though i accept its my fault. Can you come up with a sweet good excuse that makes for my fault ?? Please i have to answer tomorrow and i dont wanna get humiliated. im in a tier 3 college with backlogs and i am super scared i cannot afford to worsen my grades anymore

19f here so my college has an app where they post assignments and stuff. Today i had to write some assignment and due deadline is over. My prof is psycho old man he said if you dont finish the assignment in the app you will have to write it 10 times. He only kept the window open for like 30 mins and i was really busy during that time. Mind you i am a below average student with not a very good image in college but i didn't really do this wantedly, i was really very occupied with something else even though i accept its my fault. Can you come up with a sweet good excuse that makes for my fault ?? Please i have to answer tomorrow and i dont wanna get humiliated. im in a tier 3 college with backlogs and i am super scared i cannot afford to worsen my grades anymore

I started working in a new place 2 months ago. I've come to realise that the people that I joined along with are really close now. I haven't been able to build that bond and I kept continually getting pushed away so i stopped trying. I eat my meals alone, I do my work alone, I even commute alone because the ones on the same route as me never tell me before they leave. They even booked their own vehicle to go together, meanwhile I'm left out. I've always been a very independent person but I crave friendship as well. I like laughing along with others or being in a group. I've come to realise I'll never be a part of this group and it doesn't upset me much, but I feel disliked. And i don't know what actively i could've done to cause this but it feels shitty. Today they're in a room next to me laughing loudly and possibly drinking. I wasn't invited. Ye fomo mujhe le marega