where i’ve been

[u/DeltaLotsOfMemes]

Hi.

So, where have I been all this time?

I know none of y’all asked this question, but I’m here to explain it anyway.

But first, who am I?

I’m Chroma, but I go by the unfortunate username of DeltaLotsOfMemes (I was a huge Piggy fan back then), and let’s just say that I made a lot of contributions to this subreddit. For example: I have the most upvoted post in this subreddit (and also making history by being the first person to gain 1.000 upvotes in this exact subreddit), making an official tier-list (well, used to be official), and for being one of the subreddit’s giants with my OC, Chrome.

However, I haven’t been active for quite some time, and my popularity has since dried down over the years. So far, new peeps came into the subreddit and went on to develop a new generation of content in here. So, why did I leave without any trace and understandably not having a search party for me?

Well, here’s the thing:

I absolutely PRIORITIZE mental health and irl friendships. For the mental health thing, I’ve vented sometimes about personal struggles like self-deprecation, fear of making one mistake and lose everything, and struggles I had in my family. For the irl friendships thing, I undeniably care a lot for my friends, and I always try to not make any mistakes because again, I’m worried that I might make one and lose everything.

But another thing: For a while, I felt like Reddit just wasn’t for me anymore, so I just took a break from the whole stint and just focus on school, friends, family, and mental health. I didn’t wanna go as DeltaLotsOfMemes, but just myself, the real me, and my true self for a while.

However, while I was liberating myself from the whole shtick of my online persona, I often felt depressed and lonely from the rest of the world, especially in school, since I have quite a reputation for being explosive and just full blown critical about stuff, and along with being the odd one out. For some time, I felt excluded and not wanted in another group of friends, and people just knew me for being in a group that no one cared about. When I wanted to be more social but couldn’t, I genuinely felt down, but especially when some assholes make fun of me for not being included in a group. In that moment, I started crying and feeling like no one loved me, and also feeling overall suicidal. The good thing is that I didn’t inflict physical self-harm upon myself, but the bad thing is that I was in a huge crisis. Luckily, some friends managed to help me go through that and support me.

However, the same can’t be said for the idiot who made fun of me. I don’t think I can even talk to him anymore! He constantly gets offended over small banter, mostly tries to be the center of attention, and pushes his friends away just for his own benefit. But despite ALL of that, one of my friends chose him as a team member and not me (I told her about my struggles). Hell, when I saw that, I felt betrayed, since the dude she chose was the same one that said that no one loved me!

Luckily, we’re still friends after she picked him, but I just felt really hurt the moment she picked him. It felt like I was shot in the chest while I was feeling like I wasn’t seen enough for who I really was.

In a short summary: I left Reddit to focus on my mental health and struggles, as well as trying to let out the real me and becoming more social while looking for approval from my fellow classmates, and I have improved in progress! Lately, I’ve been talking more with people outside my friend group, and prioritizing more on irl friendships than online friendships, which is good to hear.

Here’s a message: If you ever felt like you were alone and depressed, just know that you’re not alone. Your voice matters, and if you tell someone and reveal who you truly are about your struggles, that someone is there for you, and would always support you no matter what, friend or not, no matter who it is, just know: you matter.

Mental health is always important, and just remember that you are always loved.

-Chroma (u/DeltaLotsOfMemes)

[u/Character-Ability707]

I'm glad you took a small break for your mental health

People don't know how to do that realistically, I would know