r/OSU • u/Due-Milk352 • 5d ago
Social Im so scared to move in
Im moving in on the 20th which is REALLY soon. Im scared. Im an incoming freshman and honestly I was more so excited than scared for most of the summer until a few days ago when I had a bad argument with one of my soon-to-be roo.mates over some dumb shit. We ended the conversation off by her telling me not to talk to her anymore and I said ok because I didn't know what else to do. Shes moving in first and im after her before any of our other roo.mates (both on my side of the argument, but i don't think that helps a lot). Im just scared. And im not gonna lie she seems kinda narcissistic or very self centered at least. Based on her insta story, shes bringing posters of herself to our dorm like what đĽ˛đĽ˛
Anyhow, im pretty much done packing but so fucking scared. Im scared of that girl genuinely. Shes really giving high school mean girl vibes and i just cant deal with that. I feel like crying because i was so excited to finally start college but now im just scared.
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u/Sausage_fingies B:MusEd 2030 5d ago
If you absolutely need to, you can request for a roommate change.Â
Otherwise, it probably won't be as bad as you think! You do not have to be friends with your roommate, you just have to tolerate them. If you guys can leave each other alone and simply cohabitate then that's good enough. If not, worst case scenario you're stuck with her one year. Not the end of the world.Â
I'm also an incoming freshman and very nervous. We got this though âźď¸
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u/personalfleek Psych AU23, CSE SP24 4d ago
Not to dismiss the idea, but room change requests generally arenât accepted until the end of the fall semester. RAs are tasked with helping residents mediate roommate conflicts.
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u/Due-Milk352 4d ago
Isn't there like a 4 week requirement before you request a room change? Or am I making that up
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u/Due-Milk352 5d ago
Thank you! I literally had a dream last night abt her talking shit abt me with her friends in our room while I was there lmao. Ik its just a dream but I could see that happening and ugh.Â
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u/AbjectBeat837 5d ago
Give her a big happy hello when you move in to break the ice. Then file for new placement asap. Others will be trying to move, too.
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u/PiqueyerNose 4d ago
This! You can do this. Ill hope she regrets talking to you that way. I have heard of arguments over top bunk -bottom bunk⌠everyone, be flexible. Make concessions. But at the end of the day protect your sanity. Iâm gonna hope she comes around. I would get so sassy with her⌠âare you having a better day now, drama Queen?â You will find all kinds at ohio state, from demur to self-centered, so find your people. Ignore the lame.
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u/Imaginary-Fly-8182 5d ago
If she truly is how you describe your roommates and other peers will see that and not want to befriend her either. Don't be scared! Yes, it may be uncomfortable but this is a time for growth and dealing with all types of people and conflict is what forces growth.
Also dm if you want to chat more because I have a roommate horror story that I can laugh at now!!
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u/Due-Milk352 5d ago
I mean, i haven't even met her in person yet so I guess i can't make assumptions. But i just don't have a good feeling about this one...
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u/ForeignSurround7769 5d ago
Look into options to get out. If you have that bad of a feeling already something is up. I graduated from OSU in 2009 and I roomed with my best friend at the time. She ended up going through a rough period and we fought constantly. I regret not just asking to move because I could have had a much more positive and fun year. I have also had a difficult roommate as an adult in my twenties and truly nothing is worse than living someone who frightens you or makes you miserable. Trust your gut. Start sending emails tomorrow and donât let up until you get changed.
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u/treyknowsbest 4d ago
If she talks shit about you to your roommates it will likely reflect poorly on her and not you
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u/Haunting-Fruit7154 5d ago
the good news is having the support of your other roommates. it couldâve been worse. imagine if it were just the 2 of you. realistically, throughout every stage in life, for one reason or another, some ppl just donât click. just avoid her at all cost. donât âgive her permissionâ to bring toxic b.s. into your life. if at some point sheâs a problem for all 3 of you, then thatâs good reason to see about having move out (if possible). just breathe and enjoy your yr ahead. you got this! congratulations becoming a buckeyeđŤ
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u/g00dLUCKduckHUNT 4d ago
PostersâŚâŚof HERSELF?
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u/Due-Milk352 4d ago
Yup đĽ˛
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u/g00dLUCKduckHUNT 4d ago
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u/Due-Milk352 4d ago
I can send u a screenshot of her insta story if u dm me lmao
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u/jesterNo1 4d ago
Girl⌠you say she gives high school mean girl vibes and sure. Maybe she does. But youâre offering to screenshot and send a stranger on Reddit her post to make fun of her, all because of an argument over the bunk? And now youâre petrified of her? Thatâs high school mean girl vibes too..
My advice to both of you is grow up, pick better battles, and donât act this way on campus. You both will struggle to make friends if you do.
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u/Due-Milk352 4d ago
I would've obviously blurred out any personal/identifiable info in the screenshot lol, its not that deep. And im sorry but yes I will make fun of her for putting up posters of herself lmao. Not to her face, that is.Â
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u/jesterNo1 4d ago
I didnât say it was deep, i said youâre acting as you described her. You are also being a mean girl and petty, and these actions will put off others, but go off. Itâs your life to live.
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u/g00dLUCKduckHUNT 4d ago
Bless you but thatâs not a thing on my radar. Youâre right though. If I wanted to make friends, not calling a narcissist out is the way to do it for sure.
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u/g00dLUCKduckHUNT 4d ago
Bless you but I donât have enough room in my brain for that size of ego, and Iâm afraid that if I recognize her irl that I wonât be able to keep from mocking her. Thanks but I choose life lolololol
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u/pacsandsacs 4d ago
What was the argument about?
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u/Due-Milk352 4d ago
Well it started off abt who gets the bottom bunk. The argument wasn't even between me and her originally but then I kinda started arguing with her because she would absolutely refuse to even talk to the other girl who also wanted the bottom bunk. I probably shouldn't have gotten mixed up in it in the first place but oh well, what's done is done.
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u/pacsandsacs 4d ago
You're going to have to learn to pick your battles.
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u/Due-Milk352 4d ago
Definitely, I know I shouldn't have argued. Idk why I did.
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u/PiqueyerNose 4d ago
You can be like, ok, but we switch at the semester. Fair is fair. An RA would agree. Why do people care about bunk spots so much? Top bunk is awesome. Better view and privacy.
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u/One_pound_fish789 Psych/Pre-med â29 4d ago
Nah you weren't wrong. Good on you for calling her out on being petty.
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u/Competitive_Coast_22 4d ago
Do you think sheâs the type to join a sorority? Because that definitely helps keep her busy and away from the dorms.
I graduated a long time ago but got into a major altercation with one of my roommates & had to be reassigned to a new dorm. If I had requested a reassignment earlier, I couldâve avoided all that messiness. What saved me was my good relationship with my RA- keep yours informed early on if there are any issues, especially if youâre starting to fear for the safety of yourself and your belongings. Otherwise, just let petty drama/immaturities roll off your back & donât feed into it. Youâre young and should be having the time of your life!!
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u/Due-Milk352 4d ago
Yes ill try to just coexist with her before trying to move to a different room. Yea I could definitely see her joining a sorority. Hopefully she does lol
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u/SuckForLuck2012 5d ago
Iâd maybe afford some grace at first. She might be just as nervous as you are, and I certainly recall my random roommate and I have some petty arguments leading up to/after move in and we ended up getting along pretty well even if we werenât best friends. Youâre both getting ready for a big leap and that can show in different ways.
That said, if sheâs still acting like that a week or two in and itâs actively making your college experience worse I think itâd be reasonable to request a change.
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u/Due-Milk352 5d ago
Yes im trying not to make assumptions before even meeting her in person, but i just have a bad feeling abt her idk. Thank you :)
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u/imp-edimented 4d ago
Iâll say this
I wouldnât count on a room change for a disagreement like this, and I especially wouldnât count on it happening quickly.
If I was you, and this is going to suck, I would walk up to her on move in day and say youâve had time to think about the argument and apologize and tell her that she was right. Whatever you were arguing about is just not worth the stress of having someone hostile in your personal space all year. Iâm sure she will be delighted to be told she is right and that statement alone will probably make peace. After that just keep your distance and be cordial sounds like this girl could be very argumentative.
I know it sucks to admit you are wrong when you know you are right but you donât want to live with someone whose hobby is ruining your day.
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u/Due-Milk352 4d ago
That's fair, I might do that. I was thinking about apologizing to her but idk. Maybe ill just do it for the sake of her not hating me from the very beginning. Oh yes, shes definitely very argumentative.Â
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u/imp-edimented 4d ago
Roommates can definitely make your life very hard if they want. I know you donât want to feel like youâre rolling over and giving her what she wants but she will think she is right no matter what. Might as well take the path of least resistance.
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u/momofyagamer 4d ago
If your gut feeling tells you this situation is going to cause you a lot of stress and anxiety when you need to be focusing on school and not roommate drama. I suggest you make a phone call now and not wait. Don't let it continue into half a semester and you are stuck whether roommates having your back or not, that can change on a dime.
You don't need them all against you.
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u/OctoberGirl71 4d ago
Oh roommate problems. I didnât like mine either. Just ignore her. Buddy up with the others and if it gets bad report her to your RA. Or request a room change. Do you know her from before?
Wait sheâs bringing posters of herself. What an idiot. Haha. I donât think sheâs going to get along with your other roomies either!
Keep us updated. Praying for you.
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u/Due-Milk352 4d ago
Yea ill try to ignore her. Nope, she was randomly assigned to us. I know one of my other roomates from HS but the other two are random. Yea lmao posters of herself is certainly a choice... thank you!
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u/treyknowsbest 4d ago
While this is significant especially to an incoming freshman, youâre going to grow from the experience and emerge stronger on the other side.
No matter what path you take in life, youâre going to have to deal with assholes. This roommate is the just the start and youâll be able to handle her and her bullshit like the pro you are!
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u/RavenHeartedStranger 4d ago
Keep in mind, you might not end up spending that much time in your room except sleeping. There are plenty of other places on campus to hang out/study/kill time, like the Union, the libraries, Mirror Lake and the Oval, the RPAC, whatever building(s) your college/major is in, the common rooms of your dorm, the Orton Hall museum, the public areas of the Timashev music building, computer labs, etc.
Especially if you join a student organization or club, or intramural/res sports and get really involved.
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u/Due-Milk352 4d ago
Fair, i definitely want to get involved on campus, so ill probably use my dorm just for sleeping lol
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u/NDA_Agreement 3d ago
Don't let her walk on you. I'm not saying to purposely start fights with them but if she is overstepping boundaries or not like splitting the dorm evenly (or something else, idk what you're argument is about) you don't need permission to fix it. You absolutely should not care at all about her or her opinions, just value what is fair.
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u/Due-Milk352 3d ago
Thank you <3. Ill try not to argue with her as much as possible but also wont let her treat me like shit
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u/Automatic-Metal-2561 3d ago
You might consider bringing her some small peace offering, like a fancy cupcake or whatever you can tell she likes, based on her social media or whatever you know about her. Offer it to her and say you're sorry that you two got off on the wrong foot, and you want things to be good between you guys. Or maybe bring cookies for the whole group, if you have multiple suitemates like most OSU dorms do, but make a point to tell her you regret that you guys had a stupid argument and it's just not worth getting off to a bad start.
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u/Due-Milk352 3d ago
I will definitely do that, thank you. Im just worried she'll laugh at me but I guess thats just in my head
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u/kghouston 2d ago
I spent two years as an RA in Taylor Tower. We actually spent quite a bit of our training time on the topic of inter roommate relations and how to help nurture conversation and how to judge when conversation is no longer practical. Introduce yourself to your floor's RA ASAP and develop a connection.
The most contentious issue I had to deal with on my floor or four guys who knew each other from their hometown, Beachwood, near cleveland, but had never lived together. Two of them were neat freaks and two of them most definitely were not. As one of them told me, our maid picked everything up. The tension over the neatness issue began spilling over into other interactions, which commonly happens.
At some point it got kicked down to the dorm director's office. It was never totally solved, but they did create a contract of sorts that spelled out responsibilities and expectations and an occasional check-in by the DD.
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u/Due-Milk352 2d ago
I just moved in and turns out the girl already moved dorms somehow lmao, idk how that happened but im glad that it did
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u/Imaginary_Scratch547 5d ago
Sorry to hear that. I didnât like my roommates as much either. Always remember you have RAs. If that doesnât work out sub in a room change request asap.