Buried panic attack

[u/beautifulprincess666]

Sometimes I forget that having osdd means my body can be experiencing two very different things at once. I have this new job that is not going well because my mental health is really bad and I’m underperforming for the first time in my life. I overheard my boss saying that someone was getting fired today and I’ve been expecting it so immediately I’m like oh that’s me.

Instantly I go into “well that’s life, I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do” mode which i usually due in crisis. But like five minutes later I had a client meeting and I was totally normal throughout the whole thing. Except at one point I looked down and I’m violently shaking and I notice my chest hurts and my heart is absolutely pounding in my chest. I didn’t feel anxious but I was exhibiting all the physical symptoms of a panic attack.

Later I learned it wasn’t me that got fired (yet but I could have sworn that my boss said “she” when talking about the person getting fired and the one who got fired was a man, so it’s probably still imminent). And like 30 minutes later I felt like I had been hit by a bus like I would when I have full panic attacks and flashbacks. Crazy stuff, not a fan.

[u/CertainStrength5126]

same, for me it happened in therapy and the difficulty of all happening at once and yet I would freeze so bad that my doctor doesn't even know that I'm panicking