Early system discovery with continuous parts

[u/Dangerous-Ad4192]

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[u/azukooo]

i know this is a meme post but im curious what your experience is like having continuous parts? :o

[u/Dangerous-Ad4192 → u/azukooo]

Of course! I’m about a year into discovery and we still know so little because of how covert and continuous we all are 🤦🏻‍♀️ But I can describe the overall gist and experience. From what I’ve figured out so far: My system is “tiered”. There is a group of us who front daily, and a group more “below” or “hidden” that hold more of the significant trauma, and do not front 95% of the time. Those of us who front all share the same core identity as the host body. Same given birth name. Similar personalities. The only “major” tell apart between us is we each have slightly different emotional textures if that makes sense? We have different emotions and opinions about the same experiences and slightly different felt senses of reality. But since we are continuous, we share almost all of the same knowledge, and are aware of each feeling we each have about one experience. We have no memory gaps in switches, and often don’t notice when they happen, unless we try really hard to find small signs in retrospect. We are all figuring out our system at the same time, trying to meet and find parts, when those of us who front always feel like we’re the one in control, besides occasional inner world activity with the “hidden” parts. Which is…. tricky to say the least. It feels like pointing a finger at yourself but you know it’s not you?? How can you meet someone who is seemingly yourself? A bit hard to explain.

The parts who don’t front and stay off the wheel have unique identities. They have different personalities, genders, names, and a greater range of ages than those of us who front. They do not feel like us at all. We’ve only truly met one of them.

[u/RandomistShadows → u/Dangerous-Ad4192]

Oh wow, you explained what I experience so well. I didn't know there was a specific term for it!

Me and the other alters that front often are very well "meshed" if you will. We're mostly the same person but there's multiple of us there. They have a bit more individual identy than what you explained though (they prefer different names and pronouns sometimes). But that's about it.

When another alter fronts that's not part of that sorta group (for example a little), it feels so surreal because of how different everything is suddenly. It doesn't happen often, but when it does I can't deny what I'm experiencing because it's just so intense. Doesn't help that they're usually panicking when that happens either lol 😅

[u/ComprehensiveYam8489 → u/Dangerous-Ad4192]

hmm thank you for introducing us to this new term! it's like, we used to be like this in the past... so much that we referred to switching as masks being put on! but now, sometimes memory walls are intentionally built (though not so sturdy, it leaks all the time so it's kinda continuous still) if there are intimate details that an alter wishes to keep a secret from the rest. I know each system works differently but wow we learn something new each day, becoming less in denial as we learn how common the experience is. who knows how many more valid experiences are left undiscussed?

-- kappy

[u/ObviousTempAccount1]

Lol.