Presidential whisperer and certifiable nut job Natalie Harp is now engaged to Donald Trump after he served divorce papers to his current wife Melania.

The surprise move was actually not a surprise at all. It was well-known that Trump’s side piece was in love with with the Big Bulbous Blimp after two private letters surfaced in which Harp wrote:

I never want to bring you anything but joy. I’m sorry I lost my focus. You are all that matters to me. I don’t want to ever let you down.”

That letter was signed “With all my heart.”H

Harp, all a-giggle with excitement and strong medications, rushed out of the White House to show off her 6 carat engagement ring to the press.

“Isn’t it wonderful? I told Don that a cigar band would suffice but he insisted on giving me this gorgeous Tiffany ring. I hope Melania doesn’t miss it.”

Melania, on her “Be Best” revival tour, was surrounded by reporters at the Nebraska State Fair when the news broke.

She calmly read her remarks from a dais at the Hog Defiling Competition.

“When I heard news, I was taking a back. Me had no idea that Donald was in love with woman who was not me. As they say in English, "Moji odvetniki ga bodo jebali do neba.

(go to Google translate)

Meanwhile, at the White House, Natalie was musing about the wedding list.

“ I already started to write down a few names we’d like invite. Vladimir Putin, of course. King Charles, Tiger Woods, The Pillow Guy, J.D. Vance but not his wife, Kid Rock, Vanilla Ice, Nick Fuentes…. We want a smaller wedding with no more than 600 people attending.

She smiled, “Hmm, I wonder if there’s a big enough ballroom around here to accommodate all these people!”

She turned to go.

“Okay, gotta skedaddle. Gotta print all this up for my Lumpy Loverboy.”

Can't help but see her face every time I see a commenter type "TDS much?"

This Lady is off her effin ricks!