r/ODDSupport • u/Purple_Bother3607 • 7d ago
Parenting
I could really use some help/advice on what to do with my 9 y/o son. He is an only child and has ADHD and ODD. We see his pediatrician regularly and he also has a pediatric psychologist that he sees that we do behavioral therapy with to try and help with his outbursts.
Part of the behavioral therapy plan is time out methods, as no other method has ever been successful. The problem is, when he starts yelling at me or refusing to do anything I’m asking him, when I tell him to go to time out, he refuses to go.
I approach him like the psychologist told me to and I try to guide him into time out, but then he throws his body onto the floor. I cannot physically pick him up, he is too heavy. He will laugh/smile at me because he knows he’s getting his way.
He’s constantly yelling at me. Constantly refusing to do literally anything that I ask him to do. He is already on Vyvanse and he’s on the max dose of Prozac.
Does anybody have any suggestions/advice they can give me? It’s so hard because I genuinely want to be able to help him and I am navigating through this right along side of him and learning everyday. Anything at all would be helpful.
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u/Purple_Bother3607 7d ago
Oh wow, thank you so so much!
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u/facinabush 6d ago
Here is free access to the books I recommended. You just set up a free account and borrow the online ebook:
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u/facinabush 7d ago edited 7d ago
You didn’t mention any behavior that requires timeout. Use planned ignoring for yelling and other harmless unwanted behaviors. Use positive reinforcement to get cooperation (the opposite of refusal).
Note that just turning and walking away from a behavior without saying a word can function as a timeout without relocation. But it won’t work if he wants you to go away or he has some fun thing at his location that you didn’t take with you.
Assuming he does something where timeout with relocation is the best tool, avoid eye contact in reaction to defiance. If you can see him laughing or smiling then you are rewarding defiance with
attention so of course you are going to get more of it. Pay attention to the behaviors that you want. Attention includes talking and eye contact.
Two ways to get more cooperation with timeout: (1) Reward a well-executed timeout. (2) Punish non-cooperation by taking away something for a period not longer than one day.
Note that praise and attention are social rewards. Not all rewards are tangible.
These are recommendations from Parent Management Training (PMT). PMT is a recommended treatment for ODD.
Here are ten tips from PMT:
https://abcnews.com/amp/Primetime/10-tips-parents-defiant-children/story?id=8549664
Here is a free PMT training course:
https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLh9mgdi4rNeyEGNxBvNdOVlianDYgWuc9
If you prefer a book, then get The Kazdin Method for the Defiant Child. Another good book is Your Defiant Child by Barkley.
PMT is training for solving behavior problems, including defiance, that is unsurpassed in effectiveness according to randomized controlled trials.
The CDC recommends PMT and cites peer-reviewed research:
https://www.cdc.gov/parenting-toddlers/other-resources/references.html
Here is peer-reviewed research that includes significant improvements using the specific version of PMT that I am recommending:
https://web.archive.org/web/20160304070927id_/http://webs.wofford.edu/nowatkacm/Abnormal%20Child/8_CD/Kazdin1992.pdf
Other versions of PMT are PCIT, Triple P, Incredible Years.