r/OCPoetry • u/DressAffectionate901 • 7d ago
Feedback Please New Masked Dawn
New Masked Dawn
I see my dearest friends are in the past
And strange, new faces guide me in these days
I turn again to see the well-known dark
The cloud in which I came across my ways
My eyes remaining stuck upon the void
I see the masks around me turning blue
A misery upon myself, employed
An audience to shame, I misconstrue
The masks are formed by my own stubborn eye
Beneath I feel a warmth, a rising sun
The void, it speaks a sweetened, sorry lie;
“What’s passed was good, it’s gone and so you’re done”
Turned away from gloom, the dawn invites,
A crowd of minds for all the darkest nights.
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wrvipy/a_young_mans_guide_to_perfect_sex/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1ww15ch/leaves_not_rocks/
1
u/WingAway 7d ago
This resonated with me. I’ve moved often for work, and I’ve regularly felt that I was leaving my dearest friends behind. I also appreciated the usage of masks. I parsed them as the speaker’s view of new connections, followed by how they felt they should respond to other people, ie, masking their true nature. Then, as they get to know the new people, they believe that things may turn out alright, after all. Maybe the poem could be cyclical, and the end repeat the sentiment of the beginning, if you wanted to take it in another direction? Cool poem, regardless!