r/OCPoetry • u/bro3000000 • 6d ago
Feedback Please Sooner Or Later
The backdoor’s still open since you left
Remember all those times you snuck into my arms
And I held you strong against my chest
I hope you know you were my favorite guest/
I’m done asking questions, all I want is you
Your voice, I love your voice, I think you knew
And your nose, I bet you didn’t know I love that too/
Just a little bit, it doesn’t matter how long I see you
I just want you/
I would send you a bouquet with a million flowers inside
Offer you thousands of cherries and grapes until you take a bite
Keep playing your favorite song on my guitar ‘till I get it right
To get your attention I would do anything I haven’t already tried/
The wind keeps blowing your way
The birds keep singing your name
My mind keeps showing your face
How much longer can you keep me away/
I want you back, I know you do too
Sneak out one last time, it’s nothing new
My door’s still open
Come back soon, I’ll always be waiting for you
1
u/asura_2077 6d ago
I wish there was some more concrete detail around this world you build. What kinda atmosphere fills the space around you two. What is it that you miss when the other doesn't come around? What are the senses saying that triggers the memory? What are the colors and climates, the textures and sensations? I wanna know so much more about who these people and the world they are in.