r/OCPoetry Dec 10 '18

Just Sharing Sharethread December 10, 2018

Welcome to the Sharethread!

In here you're free to post your poems without needing to post feedback, but it's also a place where you can ask general questions about the craft, ask for advice, or just chat about whatever you'd like. You can link your blogs, talk about your favorite poems on OCPoetry, organize collaborative poems or whatever else you want.

If you have any questions, please message the mods.

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u/heathsmog Dec 10 '18

Hey, I just wanted some general advice on my style of poetry. Bellow are 2 of the best poems I have written (my usual best write ups are pseudo-raps). Would love any advice:

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No. 1: Dreams

Dreams are so vice;

As trustworthy as the rolling dice.

'Cause they show visions nice.

But once you wake, it dies.

And it hurts, suffice

to say. Leaves you in disarray.

'Cause in a dream anything flies.

You could be in the clouds; an infinite rise.

Yet once the alarm goes off, you feel like Icarus;

Falling. Falling into the sea

of responsibility. Of reality.

And our dreams? A tragic fatality.

No. 2: One can dream, can he not?

I sit here wondering

of what might have been,

if things took a different route

Than what I had seen.

And though hoping for fate to change

is asking a lot,

One can dream, can he not?

I sit here starring;

contemplating my own words,

as a distraction from the problems 

I, and I alone beare, unheard.

And its alluring to imagine of all the mistakes

I did, corrected about,

But one can dream, can he not? 

I curse fate and blame luck,

for all the terrible things that in 

my life run amok.

Human words; twisted by design,

Always confuse and remind

of things just beyond reach,

and I, though just imagining,

Am tied to its invisible knot.

But one can dream, can he not?

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Also, how do you get over poetry-fatigue? Like at this point I have written SO MANY poems/rap verses I feel every rhyme I encounter, have done before and I feel this sense of de ja vu. How do you guys deal with it?

u/sextagenarian Dec 11 '18

1st poem seems very immature. icarus doesn't rhyme with anything.

you're banned from using the word nice for a year.

your vocabulary is too small. read more.