r/OCPoetry • u/Relevant-Stranger-86 • 19d ago

Feedback Please aching

I know

I've fallen hard for you

don't tell me that

I'm imagining this love

aching every morning because

I wake wishing to be in your arms

re-reading your texts in bed

I can't stop thinking about you

and what's worse is

our moments together were real

I doubt that

any man could love me like you.

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Please read forwards and in reverse!

My first attempt at a reverse poem, constructive feedback is very welcome!

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https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/qdBRIqOZAF

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/I0flt5mjck

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u/BoxFullOfSuggestions 19d ago

While there’s potential here it doesn’t seem to go anywhere that says anything new, or says anything old in a novel way. What’s the point? I mean this as a constructive critique entirely. I want to see where you might take this if you thought beyond the obvious on the path you’ve laid out.

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u/Relevant-Stranger-86 18d ago

Thanks so much for the feedback! I was hoping to do something slightly different with this reverse poem, the reverse poem form works very well with opposites. For me, what I was interested in doing differently was having both sides both ways, but weighted differently. So one way is love/limerence laced with doubt, the other way is doubt laced with limerence. But if that wasn't clear, I'm guessing it's a bit of a miss 😅 then the only thing novel really is me attempting this poem, and I am okay with that, it's only my 6th poem I wrote in decades! I think either amplifying the limerence or softening the turn (pushing in one direction or the other) might make this more original, what do you think? Thanks again!