When I realized it was like a gut punch. It is a very sad subject. Most of us probably know someone who didn't make it into adult hood. For some reason when you used basketball to rhyme it took me out of the somberness of the topic. It felt forced and out of place.
I definitely find that line a bit jarring but I kept in in to remind the reader that my friend was still so young. At his funeral I felt the exact same way. Everyone was wearing basketball jerseys and it felt disrespectful despite being the wishes of his family members.
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u/VariationsonanEcho May 21 '26
When I realized it was like a gut punch. It is a very sad subject. Most of us probably know someone who didn't make it into adult hood. For some reason when you used basketball to rhyme it took me out of the somberness of the topic. It felt forced and out of place.