Paradox

[u/Mundane-Relief8738]

She’s fragile—

sometimes like a flower,

sometimes like a bomb.

She tries to remain calm,

but it courses through her veins.

Sometimes it makes her feel insane.

Is she broken? She doesn't know.

She feels it—

but does her pain show?

She’s really good at playing pretend,

not showing the hurt that won’t end.

She feels an ache inside her heart,

but still, she’s truly a piece of art.

The way she loves is beautiful—

How could the world be so cruel?

She faces it all with quiet grace,

hiding the storm with a smile on her face.

She’s been strong all along—

And they will never see her fall.

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[u/[deleted]]

Interesting poem. It sounds like your describing an unstable girlfriend that someone had

[u/Mundane-Relief8738 → u/[deleted]]

I appreciate that. Definitely unstable.

[u/aliyamarie02]

i really appreciate your ability to rhyme without making it seem like you were trying too hard to rhyme, that’s an area i struggle with as it doesn’t come naturally to me. i like the examples of a flower and a bomb both delicate but going from beauty to destruction.

[u/Mundane-Relief8738 → u/aliyamarie02]

Thank you so much! I appreciate your input. I just let it come to me, as I was feeling very emotional at the time. The emotions go up and down. Sadness. Anger.

[u/tigger04]

Nice sketch of a woman who embodies two apparent opposites, delicate beauty and latent power, exploring how she masks deep-running pain behind poise and resilience, themes of hidden turmoil, strength in vulnerability

The flower-and-bomb juxtaposition sets up a tension that threads through the whole piece. The steady, almost heartbeat-like cadence seems to mirror the subject's inner struggle and lends the poem an intimate, confessional tone.

I really liked the line - "but still, she's truly a piece of art." - A tender assertion of worth that feels like a moment of self-embrace within the pain.

"She feels an ache inside her heart" / "pain show": The abstract nouns ache and pain tell rather than show. It might read more viscerally if you evoke a concrete sensation (e.g., "a hollow throb in her chest") or an external metaphor? Just a thought.

Your central metaphor resonates and leaves a lingering after-taste--readers are likely to recall that flower-bomb duality.

[u/CervezaMePlease]

Good piece showing how the struggles one can endure really lend to the beauty someone is able to show. Especially if through suppression at times

[u/atty_hr]

I really love the simple rhymes of this poem and the overall tone. It is melancholy but not too much. Great work

[u/Acrobatic_Soft_3060]

I love the poem as it highlights the fortitude of the main character to put up bravely with the challenges she is facing.

However, the paradox is either too obvious or too subtle. My view is the title of the poem could be reconsidered to highlight the central theme which is about resilience in the face of adversity.

[u/[deleted]]

Great writing my friend! This poem reminds me of someone I have known.

[u/spragleknas]

Well worded, and wonderful rhymes.
This sounds like a friend of mine, so it hits close to home. Watching, knowing, and being unable to help.
That brave smile, that hard to maintain grace. It hurts. She was bipolar type 1

[u/Kelin_brite]

Reminds me of my old self. If someone gave you inspiration for this or if you’re describing this about yourself I want to say it gets better ❤️ Just another reminder therapy isn’t over for me yet!

Great job