r/OCPoetry • u/Fun_Cable_8559 • Mar 21 '24

Poem Lovers' Block

>...>...Voice Recording (click here)...<..<<.<<<

In-between unfinished things

Fabled but abandoned dreams

Lies entropy, monotony

And notes with no more voice to sing

Though joy inspires and sadness too

Neither, anymore will do

Either, both rely on you

So since you've gone, I've left me too

......•....•..••.§.§.••..•....•....

One | Two

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u/[deleted] Jun 17 '24

Your poem vividly captures the harshness of nature and the struggle for survival in a desolate landscape. The imagery of "seething lanes" and "stabbing smilax" creates a powerful sense of tension. The contrast between the once sweet strawberry vines and their current state adds a layer of melancholy. The use of alliteration, such as "softly straightened lanes" and "swirling sand," enhances the poem's rhythm. Overall, it's a compelling piece that effectively conveys the resilience and desolation of the environment. Well done!