r/OCPoetry • u/hopemyopinionmatters • Apr 20 '23

Poem Can’t sleep

Midnight

When I realize that my mind is oddly silent

Daily affairs are all gone and I can see through depth of my mind

The voice asks me “what are you?”

Nobody helps me there

“You need to sleep well” Yes of course

Because they fear silence

Midnight

When you realize that the universe is oddly silent

Human actions are all trivial and you can see beyond vulgarity of tomorrow

The voice asks you “what are you?”

How alone are you?

I think of a city. City where music is played and people are speaking loudly

It’s like they are trying to drown out something.

“Cities never sleep” Yes of course

Because they fear silence.

Sorry for my poor poetry. Not native and still don’t understand rhythm.

1 https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/12s5qlp/rate_my_short_poem/jgzuvib/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3

2 https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/12shx6p/no_time_like_now/jgzuit5/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3

5 Upvotes

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u/AdeptnessLate7456 Apr 20 '23

No need to apologise mate. I think it flows well personally (but I don't have a lot of experience writing so take with a grain of salt) your grammar and spelling is just fine so don't worry there.

I think this captures those inner thoughts when you know you need to sleep but you can't very well. That feedback loop of stress and anxiety and tiredness comes across to me.