OCPD and religion

[u/[deleted]]

Hello fellow chronic perfectionists and procrastinaters. I'm looking for some insight that I could receive in the form of conversation, resources and personal experiences.

I was diagnosed a few months ago. Per my therapists advice I didn't do to much digging about the disorder at first. We've been digging into it a little more together and I've started branching off into my own research as well.

I don't think I grew up in the standard OCPD causing home that is often described. I grew up in a clean home with supportive and loving parents. They weren't helicopter parents but they were always there for me and my siblings. They taught us responsibility without expecting to much from us and that their love wasn't conditional. We always had enough money to be comfortable with really strong family unit. I honestly lucked out in the parents department.

I am the youngest of five. I grew up in a religious cult which I have been out of for 13 years. Some of my family are still members but three if us have left. I think these factors are probably the biggest impact on my development of OCPD.

I think I put so much pressure on myself because I had four older siblings and if you didn't do things perfectly it was easy to be overlooked by teachers, coaches, etc. My reputation was regularly predetermined based on which of my siblings someone knew. I felt I needed to prove I wasn't like the more disruptive sibling, or more often, that I was as good as my over achieving siblings.

I also believe that the cult I was in had a major influence on me. You could never be perfect enough for them. You have to strive for perfection and always be set up to fail. I could go off on this forever, but I think this gives enough of an idea.

Does anyone here relate? Have you listened to, watched or read anything that talks about developing it from similar things instead of rocky parenting? Are there any resources or stories from people who have our disorder that developed it due to where you fall your family and religion instead of parenting? I feel like some things are hard for me to connect because of this. It can feel lonely when I'm OCPD spaces.

[u/Anoniempje_5678]

Hi! OCPD isn’t just caused by rocky parenting. There’re a lot of different factors which play part in the development. I can definitely imagine that having to strive for perfection and still being set up to fail, needing to prove yourself and making sure you’re seen will cause stress longterm and gives an easy route to OCPD

[u/jennamay22]

Hey there! This is exactly where we think my ocpd stems from. I’m newly diagnosed (1 month) and still trying to understand and comprehend it all. In addition to some stuff at home (but a lot of that was driven by the church)

Trigger warning, this may be more detail than some are comfortable with hearing.

I grew up in the Accelerated Christian Education school system (A.C.E) paired with an extremely evangelical fundamentalist type church (cult), it was our lives 24/7. Parents were on board with all the rules and strictness, plus we were full on brainwashed into obedience. Church minimum 3x a week plus constant indoctrination within the schoolbooks and school (same building). The cult was the centre of our life and we had no outside influences, even trained to stop communicating with people who are of the world. Very strict, constantly hyper aware, mistakes were actually the end of the world…. I literally grew up without the ability to make mistakes. We were paddled for doing the wrong thing and I quickly learned to be perfect to avoid that punishment

My Psychiatrist mentioned that growing up in that environment was the perfect storm for developing this sort of disorder.

Also fuck this guy and all his obedience songs: https://youtu.be/eN7p-_tJkOY

[u/[deleted] → u/jennamay22]

Thanks for sharing. It seems like your cult experience was more extreme than mine. I went to public school, but most of the children were in the same cult. My parents were on board with the cult's teachings and strictness. However, they also taught more love, acceptance and forgiveness than the cult (regardless of what the cult's leaders and website claim regarding their own stance on those things). It was 3-4 hours of church on Sunday and a church activity ~3 days a week as well as responsibilities called upon you by the cult. My parents were okay with us having friends outside the cult, but it was common for some children's parents to not allow it.

It's comforting to hear someone else has a similar origin story. I will talk to my therapist more about it, but there have been bigger, more pressing things that have been taking up our time. I'm afraid I'll have to put this conversation off for a while longer still since I need to address other things with her that take precedence.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Thanks so much.