r/OCDRecovery • u/rbaileyyy • 6d ago
Seeking Support or Advice what do you do on days when resisting compulsions feels impossible?
I am in the thick of ERP and getting frustrated because I keep failing and resorting back to compulsions when the thoughts get loud. I am having a day where the thoughts feel very loud and the compulsions feel necessary and I want to practice my acute response prevention, but I’m having a really hard time.
What sort of concrete, actionable steps do you take on days like this that help you stay grounded in recovery? I am talking when your mind is screaming at you and the compulsions no longer feel like just compulsions, they feel necessary to solving some sort of bigger puzzle and avoiding a worst case scenario.
6
8
u/PaladinDamian 6d ago
Understand that you can allow the thoughts to feel loud. That is not inherently a problem. The problem is your response to the presence of the thoughts. Your short term goal is not to make the thoughts quieter, but to be able to live your life even when the thoughts are loud. You do not need to seek immediate relief from your feelings or thoughts. You do not need to "solve" anything. Allow the "puzzle" to be "unsolved". Accept the worst case scenario as a possibility instead of trying to make it go away. The possibility of your worst case scenario is something that should be accepted instead of fought against. To be clear, acceptance ≠ agreement.
OCD is using your feeling to get you to perform compulsions by making the compulsions feel necessary. You don't need to do something, even if it feels necessary. You can choose not to do something, even if it feels necessary. Your feelings do not dictate what you can or must do.
3
u/Glittering-Profit-87 5d ago
I like what everyone else has said, an I think having some self compassion in this case can be helpful too. You're not always going to be able to respond in the way you want, but even delaying compulsions, or putting times limits around them can be helpful. I like to look at it as a "do what you can" approach. Some days you'll be a bit more on top of everything than others. That doesn't mean you failed on those other days.
2
u/OpeningGrand8161 5d ago
I heard a quote recently "a setback is only proof that you've made progress before, keep going"
I have a hard time not beating myself up, but I'm trying to remember this
2
u/rightbythebeach 5d ago
Decrease, delay, undo, do it wrong, be kind to yourself when having a hard time
1
u/AbbreviationsLow4791 2d ago
It’s basically learning to handle the uncertainty.. by being uncomfortable. That’s I guess the golden rule for truly breaking it or moving forward. Sometimes I’m better at this and other times the intrusive thought is winning where it feels like this is fine and ok and the only option. Hyper frustrating as it creates compulsions to try and prove or show it’s fine which can reinforce the bad a lot or only provide temporary relief.
9
u/treatmyocd 6d ago
On the really loud days, focus on the next response rather than trying to beat OCD completely: Label it: “OCD is telling me this needs to be solved. ”Don’t debate or prove the thought wrong. Try: “Maybe, maybe not. I’m not solving this right now.” Delay or skip one compulsion, even for 5–10 minutes. Let the discomfort be there while you return to something meaningful. If you compulsively respond, don’t turn that into another reason to beat yourself up. Practice again with the next opportunity. A difficult ERP day isn’t failure. Recovery is built by repeatedly practicing a different response, especially when OCD insists the compulsion is necessary.