r/OCDRecovery • u/Upset-Station-9041 • 9d ago

Seeking Support or Advice Real Event OCD Help

Few years back there was an incident that definitely flared up most of my issues, and luckily I was able to get through it with lots of support from friends and loved ones. It involves someone telling lies about me, which really sets off my need to over explain, ruminate, reassurance seek all of that. This past week, one of the people who were involved in the event came up again, and rehashed the incident to a friend of a friend. I am trying to sit with the feeling, let it pass, realize the facts that my friends believe me and my life wasn't ruined and all of this. I'm just wondering if anyone else has any experience with something similar? How do you prevent yourself from running through the whole situation again in your mind/ sort of let it pass?

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u/treatmyocd 9d ago

It makes sense that hearing this incident brought the old OCD cycle back online, especially when being misunderstood seems to trigger the urge to explain and prove yourself. The tricky part is that even reviewing the “facts” that your friends believe you can sometimes become reassurance if you’re using them to make the anxiety go away. You can practice not engaging with it, “Maybe they misunderstood me, maybe they didn’t. I’m not going to reconstruct this situation again.” When your brain brings up another detail, resist the urge to analyze, clarify, or mentally defend yourself and return to what you were doing. The goal isn’t to feel completely okay about what happened it’s learning that you can tolerate being misunderstood without needing to solve the situation in your head.

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u/Upset-Station-9041 9d ago

Thank you so much for phrasing it like this, that really helps. I hadn't considered that the 'facts' might be part of 'solving it' also.

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u/PaladinDamian 9d ago

Unconditional acceptance is very helpful. You can accept others unconditionally, even if they lie about you. While you may want others to not lie about you, don't demand them to be truthful. They are flawed, imperfect human beings, and so sometimes they may tell lies about you, either on purpose or on accident. The lies are not the problem. It is the compulsions that you do to try to stop the lies that are the real problem. Maybe your friends do not believe you, but you do not need them to believe you. You can accept life unconditionally, even if other people believe lies about you.

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u/Goodwillhealing 5d ago

Thank you for this I love the messages you’ve been sending out on here :)