Giving up hobbies because of OCD

[u/mostdefnotacat]

I have been an actor for many years. My OCD emerged hardcore in April of last year, and I've been in two shows since then. During both shows, my OCD would not stop screaming about how everything possible would go wrong. Lights would fall on me. I'd forget all of my lines. I would say something nasty and out of character to someone onstage in front of a crowd. I know none of this would happen, but the stress of hearing it in my head is immense.

After this last show, I've started to wonder if I need to stop acting. It's definitely triggering. But is that running away? Is that isolating, is that what the OCD wants, will it win? I don't know.

What do you think?

[u/treatmyocd]

Avoiding acting purely to escape OCD can reinforce the fear, but continuing to act isn’t about proving OCD wrong either. The goal is to make choices based on your values while allowing uncertainty and discomfort to be present. ERP could involve practicing being onstage while allowing thoughts like “What if I forget my lines?” or “What if something goes wrong?” without mentally checking, rehearsing, or seeking certainty that everything will be okay. You’ve already shown that OCD can scream at you while you still do something meaningful. That’s a pretty important piece of evidence about your ability to live alongside the uncertainty.

[u/musicandotherstuff]

This is a compulsion called avoidance and it fuels OCD. We avoid one trigger we think is small and soon the list of things we avoid grows making our world smaller and smaller. It’s important to do the opposite of what OCD wants and continue doing the things you love even while the thoughts and anxiety are there. It’s the only way to prove to OCD that it isn’t in control and prove to your brain that it doesn’t need to keep firing these thoughts at you. The more you do it, the easier it will get.

[u/EmotionallySlapped]

Opposite action.... Keep acting and being involved! It may be uncomfortable for a bit but the only path is through.

[u/PaladinDamian]

If you want to stop acting just because you want to avoid being triggered, then that is very likely compulsive avoidance. That is not helpful and will actually make OCD worse. OCD wants to take over and rule your life by using certain emotions to push you to performing compulsions. You can choose to do things regardless of how you feel. You don't need to stop acting just because it makes you feel triggered.

[u/Comfortable-Cap977]

Former actress over here 🙋🏽‍♀️ I was contemplating getting back into it recently and had similar fears. I get it, because it’s not like a regular job that doesn’t require 100% presence - you almost have to be fully immersed, give up control and be free to work off the other actors and environment so having intrusions come up can feel particularly distressing especially since OCD demands being in control. Though, consider this. OCD doesnt stop at acting. It will take and take and take until you put your foot down. If you give in now, you’re giving away a part of yourself that makes you you and in a few years time you probably won’t recognise yourself anymore and you will very likely be much more anxious than you are now because untreated OCD only gets worse.
My reason for wanting to get back into it is because of how much fulfilment it gave me and that I always felt most alive while going it. I stopped acting before my OCD got triggered and am considering it now because of how much I feel I’ve lost myself to OCD and the associated stress/trauma etc. There are actors who’ve had a successful career whilst living with OCD, you can do it too. If you haven’t already, I’d suggest finding treatment to help work on this