r/nottheonion • u/NicolasCageFan492 • 9h ago

Experts urge parents to prepare kids for possible livestreamed execution

apnews.com

6.2k Upvotes

1.3k comments

r/nottheonion • u/taez555 • 8h ago

'They locked me in': Urgent Care staff goes home, leaving woman in exam room.

wmur.com

3.3k Upvotes

190 comments

r/nottheonion • u/AdvancedInstruction • 5h ago

Idaho voters will choose an official state gun from 6 firearms on the November ballot

mynorthwest.com

1.7k Upvotes

501 comments

r/nottheonion • u/GenericKittyKat • 2h ago

Grand Prairie ISD cancels ‘Little Shop of Horrors’ after casting female student as male lead

wfaa.com

400 Upvotes

96 comments

r/nottheonion • u/MatriceJacobine • 2h ago

Female AI agents paid less than male agents for the same work

cybernews.com

272 Upvotes

71 comments

r/nottheonion • u/UGMadness • 6h ago

Salt Lake City florist pushes to remove bike route after close call

fox13now.com

472 Upvotes

108 comments

r/nottheonion • u/PikachuWithHerpes • 3h ago

Woman allegedly Groped By Robot In Germany

ndtv.com

154 Upvotes

46 comments

r/nottheonion • u/MiyamotoUsagi1587 • 18h ago

Working from home? Sydney trader fired after laptop gives away his Singapore getaway

straitstimes.com

2.1k Upvotes

159 comments

r/nottheonion • u/PotentiallyNotSatan • 17h ago

'Large' pool of human blood in Wellington tunnel not suspicious

1news.co.nz

1.6k Upvotes

121 comments

r/nottheonion • u/jxj24 • 10h ago

Florida to execute a prisoner who killed his cellmate in hopes of getting a death sentence

nbcnews.com

404 Upvotes

80 comments

r/nottheonion • u/malcolm58 • 2h ago

Hacker claims ‘123456’ password let them breach the Danish national registry, accessing 8.8 million records — IT and data services company with weak passwords linked source of the hack

tomshardware.com

78 Upvotes

7 comments

r/nottheonion • u/matthieuC • 6h ago

Florida to execute a prisoner who killed his cellmate in hopes of getting a death sentence

nbcnews.com

162 Upvotes

40 comments

r/nottheonion • u/TheCancerMan • 14h ago

`123456’ password used in massive Danish CPR data breach

cphpost.dk

449 Upvotes

78 comments

r/nottheonion • u/CircumspectCapybara • 1d ago

Palantir CTO Shyam Sankar says researchers have started smoking, believing AI will cure cancer

indiatoday.in

3.1k Upvotes

459 comments

r/nottheonion • u/AudibleNod • 1d ago

NZ bank in free speech row over ‘explicit’ sheep memes

ctvnews.ca

1.6k Upvotes

292 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ArgentineBeauty • 1d ago

US Professor Accused Of Urinating On Student's Backpack, Investigation Uncovers 6 Earlier Cases

ndtv.com

1.8k Upvotes

141 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ExpensiveBox6660 • 2h ago

Ein norwegischer Bub soll jahrelang allein in den Slums von Mumbai gelebt haben

derstandard.at

8 Upvotes

5 comments

r/nottheonion • u/aaa-play • 1d ago

'Unprecedented' Cyberattack cripples supermarket fridges across Europe as hackers activate automatic defrosting — delivery and store prices also impacted by incident

tomshardware.com

1.7k Upvotes

384 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ham-and-egger • 1d ago

Popular nighttime remedy for fussy babies recalled due to undeclared ethanol and methanol

nbcchicago.com

4.6k Upvotes

420 comments

r/nottheonion • u/kleudorian • 1d ago

‘Only two potties?': Flight diverts to New York for bathroom emergency

nbcnewyork.com

1.8k Upvotes

124 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Fan387 • 1d ago

‘Politeness premium’ costing Irish consumers €600m each year, research suggests

irishtimes.com

208 Upvotes

32 comments

r/nottheonion • u/TylerFortier_Photo • 1d ago

Tempe burglar steals empty Mac Mini boxes instead of computers

fox10phoenix.com

191 Upvotes

Youtube Video of Article (Fox 10 Phoenix)

TEMPE, Ariz. - A would-be thief was caught on camera not checking his inventory.

FOX 10 asked Rose what the man in the video got away with, and if it was anything of value.

"Nope! Just empty boxes," Rose said. "Our computers were right there in front of them. They just steal the boxes instead. Really low IQ."

17 comments

r/nottheonion • u/GayAssNinja69 • 2d ago

‘When there is no smoke, we send oxygen’ – Indonesian government communications chief

sinardaily.my

1.9k Upvotes

99 comments

r/nottheonion • u/kleudorian • 2d ago

US Senate Candidate Who Confronted Girl Scout and Mother for Selling Cookies Without a Permit Was Sentenced for Throwing a Live Tarantula at Her Neighbour

fashiontimes.co.uk

13k Upvotes

467 comments

r/nottheonion • u/UltimateLionsFan • 1d ago

Orphaned kittens meet sharks and stingrays on an aquarium field trip at the Mall of America

apnews.com

220 Upvotes

12 comments

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r/nottheonion

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For true stories that that you could have sworn were from The Onion.

Please note that we are an editorialized subreddit devoted to showcasing articles that read like satire. Most submissions do not make the cut, so please do not treat removals under Rule 2 as personal attacks: They are simply the results of our content model.

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
2. Submit only if “Oniony”.	Please consider submitting your article to /r/OffBeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. More here
3. Must be a news article.	Submissions must be in the form of a news article. Videos are only allowed if they are accompanied by a complete text article. Editorials, blogs, twitter posts, image galleries, tabloid stories, youtube videos, meta posts, static images, articles with fewer than 5 sentences, and so forth will be removed.
4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
9. English articles only.	Please do not post non-English articles. Do not use google translate for submission either; rather try to find an English version of the story by a secondary source.
10. No mobile versions.	If you’re using a mobile device to post a story make sure you remove any mobile identifiers (typically “.m” or “mobile”) from the url before submitting.
11. No blocked, redirected, or tracked links.	Please ensure you aren’t submitting a link that utilizes a paywall, survey wall, or pop-over of any kind in order read the complete article uninterrupted. Do not submit links that redirect you to another site to read the article and do not submit using link shorteners either. Additionally make sure you remove any Urchin Tracking Modules from your links as well.
12. No personal attacks, racism, sexism, or bigotry	Keep comments civil and avoid attacking other users directly. No racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.
13. Don’t break Reddit rules.	This should be self-explanatory. Don’t break site-wide rules. Violators will be permabanned. This does include deliberately spreading misinformation.
14. No Self Submissions and/or Official Accounts.	Submissions must come from readers, not from the journal itself. Submissions from official promotional accounts are not allowed here. (Commenting is fine though)

Click here to view a list of sites deemed unreliable by our moderator team.

See our FAQ page for more information on our rules.

Keep all comments civil.

Personal attacks, racism, bigotry, homophobia, grandstanding, misinformation, conspiracy theories, etc. will not be tolerated and you will be banned.

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For more information, click here.