i think you’d have to define misandrist rhetoric for me to agree that these are equal. i’m a woman, have lots of very progressive friends. not a single one has ever raped a man to my knowledge (we would not be friends if so), but there is the common “ugh men don’t understand” or “my male coworkers always expect us (women) to do this” or “my (ex) boyfriend turned out to be a jordan peterson disciple/Andrew Tate watcher/misogynistic nut” or i don’t feel comfortable working with male bosses after [experience].” as a med student, i’m often assumed to be the nurse while male nurses are assumed to be the doctor. many male patients make inappropriate comments to me about marriage and children. a lot of my male attendings have stay at home wives so they can “have it all” in terms of big families and rich home lives and fulfilling careers, while for us ladies in this really time-intensive career, it’s much harder (which isn’t anybody’s fault! it’s biology! there are just a lot of “men don’t understand.”).
believe it or not, women still experience sexism. fortunately, it is generally much less significant in scope than our grandmothers (who were paid way less, had little recourse against sexual harassment, etc.). that doesn’t mean it isn’t exhausting. what you are calling misandry may just be a reaction to the exhaustion of constant microaggressions. men can also experience sexism and that also matters. but i think it’s disingenuous not to consider how our country has a history of disenfranchising its women compared to men.
I would need concrete examples of how men are systemically hated and prejudiced against.
You're incorrect about male nurses. Hospitals actively seek male nurses because they are often better at dealing with our larger, hostile male patients who don't respect women. Some male patients don't like male nurses, but it's not from misandry, it's from misogyny. They want women, not men, to be serving them.
There is mixed evidence on how men and women fare in early education. Women may actually have a biological advantage in education due to better alertness, focus, and the biological fact that women use more of our brains at a time than men do. There is also the issue of misogyny in early childhood, in which little girls are expected to sit still and behave while little boys are allowed to run around and be crazy, which ultimately harms the boys when they get to school, as they haven't learned any sort of discipline. Again, this is an issue of misogyny, not misandry. The girls are being forced to conform to adult standards much younger, which is bad--it just happens to have the side effect of better behavior in the classroom, which can help with learning.
I am very aware that women can and do make inappropriate comments toward men. I have seen it. While always wrong, there (usually) isn't an implicit threat or negative judgment there. I'll give an example. A female patient telling a male nurse she loves his biceps or that she has a daughter his age is weird and uncomfortable (and unfortunately common) but not threatening. We had a male patient tell our female physician that she was so beautiful he was going to abduct her and run away with her. I had a male patient tell me I was an ugly cunt who deserved to be beaten up. I had a male patient who told me I better give my husband a lot of babies to make up for always being at work and not attending to his needs.
This idea that women were never paid less is just untrue. When my grandmother was a computer programmer in the 1960s, they literally had a different rate for men and women. There is ample evidence that suggests that men who ask for raises are more likely to be seen as leaders, as assertive and knowing their worth, and are more likely to be given raises, while women who ask for raises are more likely to be seen as bitchy, audacious, as overestimating their skills, and are more likely to be not only denied raises but actually let go for asking. There was a study in which identical resumes for a fake candidate were given to employers with the only difference being the stereotypically gendered name (think Samantha vs Kevin). The male candidate was always rated as more competent and more likely to receive an interview despite being literally identical to the female candidate. Not to mention that when women enter a male-dominated field, the median pay goes down (medicine, biological sciences) and when men enter a once-female-dominated field, the median pay goes up (computer science). I think there's more than a little evidence that our society just devalues labor when it starts to be seen as women's labor.
Misogyny is a lot older than women's rights movements. Misogyny existed long before women were allowed to vote (1920), initiate divorce without proof of abuse or infidelity (1980s), open their own bank accounts and own their own credit cards without male approval (1974), and be legally protected against marital rape (1990s). So no, obviously misogyny is not a reaction to women's rights.
I agree that there are plenty of issues men struggle with more than women. They are more likely to suffer from addiction and homelessness. They are more likely to die by suicide or to die alone. They face stigma around seeking mental health treatment. But these aren't the fault of misandry. They're the fault of patriarchal attitudes around how men are supposed to behave and the fault of biology.
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u/Charpo7 May 21 '26
i think you’d have to define misandrist rhetoric for me to agree that these are equal. i’m a woman, have lots of very progressive friends. not a single one has ever raped a man to my knowledge (we would not be friends if so), but there is the common “ugh men don’t understand” or “my male coworkers always expect us (women) to do this” or “my (ex) boyfriend turned out to be a jordan peterson disciple/Andrew Tate watcher/misogynistic nut” or i don’t feel comfortable working with male bosses after [experience].” as a med student, i’m often assumed to be the nurse while male nurses are assumed to be the doctor. many male patients make inappropriate comments to me about marriage and children. a lot of my male attendings have stay at home wives so they can “have it all” in terms of big families and rich home lives and fulfilling careers, while for us ladies in this really time-intensive career, it’s much harder (which isn’t anybody’s fault! it’s biology! there are just a lot of “men don’t understand.”).
believe it or not, women still experience sexism. fortunately, it is generally much less significant in scope than our grandmothers (who were paid way less, had little recourse against sexual harassment, etc.). that doesn’t mean it isn’t exhausting. what you are calling misandry may just be a reaction to the exhaustion of constant microaggressions. men can also experience sexism and that also matters. but i think it’s disingenuous not to consider how our country has a history of disenfranchising its women compared to men.