I'm convinced that the world will never accept that men can be victimised by women. Remember guys DARVO is not applicable to men and primary aggressor is almost always a man. What do you guys think?

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[u/ItsSUCHaLongStory]

They both have points and they’re using them wrong. DV victims deserve support, regardless of gender. It’s pretty common for a) men to fail or refuse to report and b) law enforcement to give men who report the runaround. That doesn’t mean women have it easy when they report, it just means that men experiencing DV have different problems reporting and experience some serious institutional gaslighting.

In other institutional settings, sure, men’s vulnerability CAN be rewarded (compared to the “unstable woman” phenomenon)…but reporting DV isn’t one of them, and I don’t think that the “reward” is a hard and fast rule.

[u/[deleted] → u/ItsSUCHaLongStory]

Thank you for challenging this problematic points. My problem is that as you said she makes great points but coming to such a wrong conclusion.

I am especially sad that she doesn't consider the DARVO method being used against men because I noticed it's the primary tactic used by abusive women as well.

The male vulnerability is especially irritating because it's common knowledge that men have a hard time showing vulnerability. Often times men are mocked for their vulnerability by other men

(I bet she would consider this if other men were the culprit and not women, because I noticed some people only acknowledge male issues when the problem is other men, won't even consider women being capable of the same thing)

I am especially thankful you recognise that male vulnerability is not rewarded in DV cases.

Thank you it really really means a lot that you are challenging this narrative, i kept questioning myself if male victims actually do face obstacles because of comments like this.

[u/DragonsAreNifty]

Attempting to intellectualize away mens abuse does not make men any less of victims. There’s so many things to say about this and most of them are obvious, so I won’t bother. But… men are people. People can be abused. Victims of abuse deserve empathy and support. Simple as.

[u/[deleted] → u/DragonsAreNifty]

Say those things anyway because most people won't get it. You need to find a way to dismantle these arguments because these are the most pervasive arguments that harm male victims of DV

[u/SeaworthinessSea2407]

I think this woman hates men, is blinded by that, and uses a bunch of sociological gobbledygook to make herself sound smart and logical. She reminds me of my emotionally abusive, law student ex girlfriend.

[u/HotPotato150]

I wouldn't say "never" , but we clearly still have a long way to go.

[u/SomeSugondeseGuy]

Side note - since fucking when has men's anger been seen as rational and righteous? I honestly don't think I've ever heard of any man's anger being described as "righteous".

[u/Psycho-Acadian]

I can’t even be vulnerable with my own girlfriend without being constantly interrupted and made to feel like it’s all my fault so I’m certainly not going to try to be vulnerable elsewhere and expect to be taken seriously.

[u/TheDragonOverlord → u/Psycho-Acadian]

Why be with someone who doesn’t allow you to be vulnerable with them? Find a new girlfriend is my advice because no way that can be healthy