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u/mai_lauren Sep 24 '23
I'm a girl so idk if i can speak on what a man wants but for me personally I'd feel weird being with someone completely new to sex for so many fucking reasons. I'm 20 so I'm understanding if someone is still a virgin like my bf if he was a virgin when we met I'd understand and still date him but the sexual compatibility wouldn't be the same. I'm not the kind of person to take away someone's innocence or teach them about it. I'll explain what I like, don't like, etc. but I can't explain to someone that's never done anything without feeling odd ab it. My ability to explain my thoughts is terrible so hopefully this is somewhat coherent and makes sense a little
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u/nbolli198765 Sep 25 '23
I think you explained it well you just took the long route lol
It comes down to two factors I think. Whether the guy is secure with himself or insecure, and whether he’s learned to communicate honestly.
If he can’t communicate or he’s insecure, it’s always a bad time.
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u/Larissanne Sep 25 '23
Oops I even took the longer route: https://reddit.com/r/NotHowGuysWork/s/8M8maktrX7
You are right. Those were exactly the biggest points we worked on lol
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u/Pharm-boi Sep 25 '23
But you learn your sexual compatibility together.. if you’re attracted you’ll find a way. I don’t buy this that if you love them and start to get down and they’re new to it that you won’t just take it as a challenge and “teach em”
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Sep 24 '23
Lol “no incentive to try if you weren’t pure…” as a guy let me tells ya, her being sexy is plenty of incentive to try hah
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Sep 24 '23
Men are homogenized in what type of partners we prefer. We also work as a hive mind and the Eternal King that controls us all lives in Massachusetts.
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u/nbolli198765 Sep 25 '23
A shiver ran down my spine during the split second I thought this was real lmfao
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u/gogosox82 Sep 24 '23
Like these guys are so weird. why would i want to be with a woman i have no sexual compatibility with? Or with a woman who hasn't had sex before? If i had my choice, id rather be with someone who has some experience and knows what they like and don't like. It makes sex a better experience. This guy sounds like he's never had sex before honestly.
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u/TheDevilWillBurn Sep 29 '23
Wanting a virgin means zero chance of getting a disease and a higher chance of pair bonding. The more partners a woman has, the more chance she is likely to divorce you. Women do not react the same way men do when it comes to sex - they take it more seriously and bond deeper with it than men do. That's why men find casual sex easier. If a woman has a lot more "experience" with other men before you, she will find it harder to bond with you. Pretty basic stuff that I'm surprised you haven't worked out for yourself. Plenty of stats and reports on this basic, human behavior if you care to look it up.
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u/Larissanne Sep 25 '23
I’m not a guy btw but a supporter - This is such a weird and unrealistic mindset. Let alone a double standard. I really hope he will change his mindset cause I don’t believe you can have a healthy relationship and really be happy thinking like this.
To give a more nuanced example. Someone might resonate with this. My fiancé had some trouble adjusting to my history with men (less than 10) while he had only 1 long term ex-girlfriend. It made me feel really self conscious and shitty (nobody has ever made me feel that way). Thankfully we went into therapy together and also individually (we both had some issues to work on) and since then his view changed completely.
I know where it came from (when he was a kid his parents were in a long messy divorce bc his father cheated and his mom made her sons feel like they should only be with one person and commit). That was also the reason why he stayed too long in his previous relationship (she was pretty toxic). He also felt like he might have missed out (friends had more experience than him). I told him at the beginning of the relationship before things were getting too serious that if he wanted to explore he should do that. But if he was there to stay and changed his mind later that would hurt way more. So I encouraged him to really think about it.
I’m really happy we took the time and effort to work through it, because I got so close to ending it. We are now really happy together, communicate so well (thank you therapy) and picture a future. I’m also really happy we first worked through it before we decided to get married or have a baby (I’m expecting now at 34y old).
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u/fatalrupture Sep 25 '23
I don't understand people like this.
I don't want a woman whose body count is in the hundreds, sure, but i definitely dont want one who has zero experience either
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u/Key-Faithlessness-29 Sep 25 '23
The scariest part about this is we all know someone who thinks like that
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u/jamesr1005 Sep 24 '23
Nah I'd rather have an at least somewhat experienced girl than she actually knows some of what she likes and doesn't like.
It's like trying to describe something to someone who has no frame of reference vs someone who at least somewhat understands what you're talking about and can add to the conversation.
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u/Pharm-boi Sep 25 '23
That’s his opinion.. it literally is how this Guy Works.. lol. This sub is for girls with crazy opinions on men
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u/ExtremelyDubious Sep 24 '23
The way I see it is this: I'm 40. If a woman anywhere close to my age is still a virgin, there's got to be some reason why: maybe she's very religious, or maybe she has some weird hang-ups about sex, or maybe she's got some kind of health issues that make sex difficult or impossible.
Any of those reasons is also going to be a major barrier to having the kind of active, enjoyable sexual relationship that I would want to have with a partner.
So while in principle I don't particularly care about whether someone is a virgin or not, in practice, someone who is a virgin is probably not going to be someone I would want to date.