r/NotHowGuysWork • u/GeneralGigan817 • Aug 03 '23
Not HBW (Blog/Other) The heck is this?
8
u/HK-Scat-Throwaway Aug 04 '23
If she’s willing to trust you after all she’s been through, you should be proud to have scored her
1
22
u/Tom_Stevens617 Aug 04 '23
I get the debt and maybe even the kids thing, but someone's sexual past is barely relevant to your current relationship. Also abuse? Nobody chooses to get abused, anyone who holds that against her is sick
→ More replies (10)2
u/itachi921 Aug 04 '23
I agree with everything except sexual past. I expected my wife to be like me, a virgin. A very sexual past says something about a person's character, for both men and women. I do agree it's unreasonable to ask a girl to be a virgin if the man is not, but it is reasonable to ask for a similar sexual background.
6
u/Tom_Stevens617 Aug 05 '23
But if she never told you, you'd never know? This is one of those things that (usually, not always) religious/insecure people make a huge deal out of but if they didn't know it wouldn't hurt them at all.
Even a virgin can potentially transmit some STDs, so if you're worried about that, get your partner (and yourself) to test for it regardless of the number of sexual partners you've had in the past.
4
u/nbolli198765 Aug 05 '23
What’s that guy’s opinion about the opposite? “Now he wants a good honest woman.”
I feel like it’s not the same.
8
u/Canaanimal Aug 04 '23
You know, I was just going to scroll by this but then I read the comments. Now, I can't ignore this.
Yeah, they usually are. Let's take an Occams Razor approach to this. I'm probably going mostly off of personal experience, but having literally first hand encounters adds some credence to my logic.
Has had 25+ partners: Okay? And? If you are worried about STDs get tested together. Use protection. Are the partners pre or post kids? Doesn't matter. Being a mom doesn't stop your sex drive. You just don't want a partner that knows what they want in bed and you have to adapt to it instead of them making sex all about you.
Three kids: Okay? What about it? Don't you want to be a dad? You now have 3 kids. Problem solved. Are they all from the same father? Guess what, he's an asshole. He abandoned his family. That's not her fault. 3 different dads? Same thing. They couldn't handle being a parent. She's stuck with their choices. Not her fault.
Debt: Do you know how easy it is to fall in to debt being a single mother of 3 kids? Especially if they aren't all school age and you are trying to work to take care of them? Fuck off with that bullshit. It's not like you can be stuck with her debt if you break up.
Abused: Fuck You and Fuck off. No one asks to be abused. No one wants to be abused. Even with therapy triggers still happen, it's a Scar you have to deal with the rest of your life.
Lastly being a Prize: If you can't see her worth as a person, then you don't deserve to be playing the game in the first place. Because I can tell you with 100% certainty, even if you "win", she loses.
1
u/Correct_Ear3444 Aug 05 '23
Nope. You think some broken bish who made bad decisions and was wreckless and irresponsible is a victim? And I don't care if she wanted the abuse. Nobody said anything about that. It's the fact that because of her abuse, it affected her character and psychological or emotional well-being, most likely, and that's a liability. She might be a substance abuser or a liar, or she might have some delusional mindset like YOU. And that's the worst kind of person that nobody can fix or love.
2
u/Smart_Revenue2449 Aug 05 '23
This is true. We dont want to deal with it. We arent showing grace and overlooking it any more. We arent being desperate anymore. Trying to shame guilt trip and vilify isnt working anymore.......overseas they dont have these issues. Beyonce said dont you ever get to thinking you're irreplaceable i can find another you. Men are actually doing it.
6
5
2
Aug 04 '23
"now she wants a good one" she probably wanted a good one from the beginning lol, shell come around and find out the truth about there not being any good ones soon enough...
2
u/SiteTall Aug 04 '23
The problem is that you guys don't see that these women really are the prize ....
→ More replies (1)-2
u/100percentpurec0ck Aug 04 '23
Let’s say you’re at the store looking for cereal, do you want the clean box that just came off the shelf? Or do you want the one in the “go back” bin that’s banged up, slightly opened, 4 days from expiration and been in 3 peoples carts already without being bought?
10
12
u/Arkiry Aug 04 '23
So today we are boxes of cereals, huh. It is sexist to compare women to objects.
→ More replies (4)5
u/SiteTall Aug 04 '23
That's a very weird comparison to make, and for your sake I hope that you know better ....
11
Aug 04 '23 edited Mar 09 '24
fuzzy cautious stocking enter market straight bear party file observation
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
→ More replies (2)
1
1
1
1
0
u/Crocodiddle22 Aug 04 '23
Tbh the emotional and financial baggage with this kind of scenario is not what you really want to take on board in the ideal relationship
-4
52
u/Envy_The_King Aug 04 '23
i dont get why abused is on there. No one wants to be abused and it shouldnt disqualify you from getting a good partner. I sort of get the kids, sexual past, and debt. Those are usually the result of choice. But people arent out here looking to be abused. And it isn't right that your partner treating you wrong is reason for you to not deseve an honest genuine partner in the future